Part 7 (1/2)

For the rest of the period I yearned for and dreaded the bell . When it finally rang, I took in a deep breath and slowly packed up my stuff. The room cleared out, and I was left standing uncomfortably, backpack slung over one shoulder, ready to make a quick exit if need be.

Once everyone was gone, she walked over to a packed shelf behind her desk and pulled a worn book out, flipping through it with a faint smile. ”You may like this one. Your mother sure did. Said it inspired some of her paintings.”

Paintings?

The question must have shown on my face.

”She was a brilliant artist, even at a young age. I think it was the way she tried to work things out for herself. We've all got something we do, and hers was painting.” She nodded to herself. ”I'm guessing your dad didn't save any of her work, then.” I had no memory of her painting. Ever. Never heard my dad mention it either. I stared down at the book she held out to me. Adorning the cover, in curling ornate lettering, was the t.i.tle Mermaids: Daughters of the Sea.

I didn't say anything. She pushed it gently into my hands. ”Take it. It's a place to start.”

”Thanks,” I managed, pus.h.i.+ng it to the crook of my arm.

”Anna,” she said softly, ”Answers to most of our questions do exist. You just have to ask them.”

”Yeah,” I said curtly. ”I need to go. Um ... thank you for this.” I walked past her and out the door, sure of two things: One, I needed to change my English cla.s.s, and two, I could run for miles today and not feel a thing.

”Long. Slow. Distance.... Also known as LSD in running. It's what you'll be doing today.” Coach Martin stood in the center of a ring of stretching runners.

He put his clipboard behind his back and walked the ring our feet made as we reached for our toes. ”Today's run is about enduring. It's about getting your mind to a place where it can rest and let your body take over. Don't look at your watch, don't guess the mileage, and don't think. Just run. Settle into a pace that you can hold as long as I ask you to.” I didn't flinch. All the better. Bent in a stretch, I exhaled into my knees and welcomed the time to not think about anything but running.

”We're going to head back into the canyon. I'll be in front of you on my bike with water if you need it.” I leaned forward again and looked out of the corner of my eye for Jillian. She was already up on her feet, kicking out her legs. I stood up casually and stretched my arms above my head. Coach Martin glanced at each of us. ”And one last thing. No racing. Let it go for today or you won't last the run. Now, let's go.”

Our shoes crunched over the dirt track, first in a walk and then accelerating into a slow jog. I was conscious of Jillian a foot or so behind me, but didn't alter my pace. When she caught up and I could see her in my peripheral vision, I queled the urge to pick it up. She looked over at me and nodded, and I nodded back. We squeezed through the gate that separated the track from the land behind the campus, and headed down a dirt road that twisted far back into the green canyon. The air was hot and dry until we rounded the first curve into it. Under the shade of towering eucalyptus trees, I began to relax into the pace and let fall away all of the things that weighed me down. I pictured the trail of them behind me-the cottage my mother had lived in; the unsettled feeling my dream had left me with; the fact that everywhere I went, someone knew something about my past that I didn't- ”Slow down.” Her words jolted me from my thoughts. ”You don't always have to run like you're racing. Relax.” I checked my pace. ”Sorry. It's been a long day.”

”Well, it's gonna get even longer. He wasn't joking about this being a distance day. So relax. Breathe.” She smiled over at me. ”tell me about you and Tyler Evans.” I tried not to react, but felt a tiny wave of nervousness zing through me. ”Nothing to tell , really.” She gave me a look as our shoes crunched together in rhythm. ”Come on ... spill it. We need something to talk about to take up this run.” I glanced around, cheeks burning. At our pace we'd left the rest of the girls trailing some distance behind. Her tone was easy and comfortable, so I figured it was safe. ”All right. There's nothing interesting to tell . We were both at this lifeguard bonfire, and we swam out to jump this rock, and I gave him every opening I possibly could have to make a move, but he didn't. And I wasn't naked. Or drunk.” I paused and glanced over at Jillian, who was smiling knowingly. ”Too bad the truth doesn't live up to the rumors, huh?”

She rolled her eyes. ”It never does. I figured it was something like that. Don't worry about it. People just like to talk. They'll forget by Friday.” We took a few more strides before she spoke again. ”And don't count Tyler out either. For all his c.o.c.kiness, he's actually kind of a gentleman, so I'm not surprised he didn't do anything. It's probably a good sign, actually. If you're into him.”

Oh, G.o.d. ”Did you guys ... I'm sorry. I had no idea-”

She laughed out loud. ”Me? Oh, G.o.d, no. I didn't date Tyler. No offense, but he's not really my type.” We'd picked up the pace the slightest bit. ”No, my sister went out with him a few times, and she said the same thing about him. That he pa.s.sed up a few good moments before he actually kissed her.” The previous moment's awkwardness paled in comparison to this. What was I supposed to say? That I knew about her sister? Ask about her? Say I was sorry? That I'd banish Tyler from my thoughts? I was so used to being on the other side of this conversation, I had no idea. ”Oh, I ...”

”You don't have to feel weird about it, though. She's been gone for a couple of years-a bad car accident. Everyone else here knows, so you may as well hear it from me. Anyway, you should go for it. He's a good guy.”

She'd done perfectly what I'd never been able to do. Slipped it in casually, like she was long over it, and got on with the conversation. She hadn't even left me room to say ”I'm sorry” before moving on to Tyler. But I couldn't not acknowlledge it.

”Wow. I'm so sorry. About your sister, I mean.” I fumbled, but she rescued me.

”It is what it is. Sometimes life throws s.h.i.+tty surprises at you and there's nothing you can do about it, you know?” I nodded and inhaled deeply. It would have been a good moment to say ”Yeah, I know what you mean” or something that let her know I'd been there too.

That I was back there, in a way. But I didn't. Instead I cleared my mind of everything except the rhythm of our feet in the dirt, my breaths, and the quiet understanding I felt growing between us as we matched strides.

CHAPTER 15.

Friday came more quickly than I'd expected. I'd spent the week waking up looking forward to first period, where Tyler and I snuck friendly banter back and forth when Mr. Strickland wasn't looking. My lunches were spent listening to Ashley and the two girls she'd befriended in dance cla.s.s chatter about everyone in school, from who they were dating to who they were wearing. I got myself transferred to a different English cla.s.s so I wouldn't have to face Joy again. And Jillian and I had just taken first and second in the opening meet, helping earn a win for our team. And now it was Friday.

We walked out to the parking lot, still in our uniforms, and she stopped when we got to her car. ”Wanna go to the party at Celine's tonight? It's tradition after the first race ...” She threw her bag into the trunk. I was about to take her up on the offer, but we both turned at the voice that came from across the lot.

”Hey! Louanna!”

Jillian raised an eyebrow. ”Or maybe you have other plans?”

I tried to tone down the immediate giddiness that spread out from my stomach. ”No. Not yet.... Maybe?” I could always hope.

”Let's leave it open, then.” She got into her car. ”Call me if you decide you want to come, and I'll pick you up.” Before I had a chance to answer, she winked, shut the door, and was backing out.

Tyler jogged up behind me. ”Hey, I was trying to call you.” I could hear the grin in his voice and I paused before turning, mostly to compose myself.

”Funny. I could have sworn you heard me tell Mr. Strickland that I go by *Anna.'”

”I heard you and Jillian killed it in your race today. Anna. Nicely done.” He smiled his golden-boy smile at me, and that, in combination with his hair all wet and sticking up in every direction, was enough to make me-well, I didn't even know.

He smelled like chlorine, but I liked it on him. ”Did you guys have a game today?” I grinned inwardly at a brief flash in my mind of him in a Speedo and the funny little water polo cap.

”No. First one's next week.”

”Oh.” For lack of a better response, I took a step toward my car.

Tyler went with me. ”So, I didn't ever get to ask you-how was your dad about the whole party thing? I figure I don't have a job next summer, after that.” I kicked a rock across a few empty parking s.p.a.ces. ”He was pretty p.i.s.sed, but I think he'll let it go. He's done a few things that he owes me an apology for, so I'm gonna say we're even.”

”What, like naming you Louanna?”

I gave him a look. ”That was my mom's fault, actually. It was after her grandmother or something like that.”

”If it makes you feel any better, my real first name is Frank. Tyler is my middle name. But same thing. I'm named after the grandpa I never met.” I stopped at the back of my bus. ”This is me.”

”Yeah?” He eyed the surf racks on top of the bus.

”Yep.” I opened the back window and threw my backpack in, then turned back to him and tried to think of something else to say.

”The cla.s.sic surf mobile.” He smiled wide. ”It suits you.”

I smiled back. I had always loved the bus. ”Yeah, we've been a lot of places in that thing. I'm not sure that it fits in here, though.” I looked across the half-empty parking lot that held a mix of BMWs, Mercedes, and Range Rovers.

He waved his hand dismissively. ”Cars like that are a waste. They've never been down a dirt road in Mexico that ended at the perfect surf spot.” He patted the back window. ”This one, though ... I bet it's seen some pretty cool places.”

We were quiet a moment, and I looked at the ground. ”I should get going,” I managed, sounding as awkward as I felt. I didn't mention the party. Just in case he was about to invite me somewhere. I pinched my running jersey between my two fingers. ”Gotta get out of this thing.” Lovely. Remind him how gross and stinky you are right at this moment.

Tyler didn't seem to notice. ”Yeah, I should get going too. My dad has some big business meeting late, and I promised my mom I'd go to dinner with her ...” He trailed off, and we both stood, unmoving. I was about to break the long moment of silence, but I saw something flicker over his face and waited.

”Hey. Just so you know, those cottages you were asking about-all the broken-down ones? Most of them aren't locked up. You wouldn't need your dad's keys to go look in them. You just have to find an open lock. I went through them all last summer. Kind of another rookie initiation.”