Part 43 (1/2)
He wrinkled up his brow, and let his cheek down upon his hand, with his elbow in dangerous proximity to his coffee.
”I was dreaming of going up to Stonor's again last night. Good heavens!
Is it likely that I shall ever become like one of those poor fellows-- unhinged, doing all kinds of things involuntarily? There must be something wrong with me; only Stonor spoke as he did, like all doctors do, to take one's thoughts away from one's malady. It is so strange, that perhaps I ought not to think any more of my poor darling; only Stonor encouraged me so. It would be a sin against her to marry if I really am wrong. But am I? Let me think.
”Robson, for some reason, cut me dead yesterday; but then he is one of Lady Millet's intimates. Then Rock Anderson apologised for not paying me that money. What money? I remember no debt. It's softening of the brain, that's what it is--memory gradually going; and yet I think of Gertrude and dare--Well, the doctor said I was all right; he ought to know. He said it was only a lapse of memory now and then.
”But there are so many things which are so puzzling. Friends seem to be dropping away from me. Man after man with whom I used to be intimate cuts me dead.
”No, no, no!” he cried impatiently; ”I will not think of it. And as to that woman who came to me and made me worry my brains, it must have been some town trick.”
But the cloud hung over him still, various little matters connected with his daily life clinging together like snowflakes from that cloud, till the recollection of his position with regard to Gertrude came back, and her face shone through the darkness to dissipate the mental mist.
”Yes!” he cried, brightening up; ”the doctor must be right. He encouraged me in my ideas; and my darling will keep away all these wretched morbid fancies. But what am I to do?
”Act!” he cried sharply; ”act!--not sit down here like a morbid, dreamy fool, and let that old woman have her way in making two people wretched for life. I'll go to Captain Millet's and see him. Not so easy, though,” he said, laughing. ”Never mind; I'll go. He must have plenty of influence. Oh, of course; and if he fails, why, there's the doctor.
Hang it! he might interfere, and put in a certificate saying that it would be the death of the poor girl if she is forced into a wedding with that fellow. But the old man told me to--Oh, what a hesitating fool I am!”
Meanwhile, matters were progressing in no very pleasant way at the Millet's. Renee made no confidant of her mother, but clung to her sister, from whom Lady Millet heard a portion of the trouble that had fallen upon her child.
”There, I can't help it,” said her ladys.h.i.+p. ”I do everything I can for you children, and if matters go wrong through your own imprudence, you must put up with the consequences. There, there, it is a silly young married couple's piece of quarrelling, and they must make it up as fast as they can.”
”But, mamma!” said Gertrude.
”Don't argue with me, Gertrude. Renee must have been imprudent, and she must take the consequences. She had no business to encourage Major Malpas to visit her; and I trust that this will be a warning to you when you are married.”
”Mamma!”
”Oh yes, I understand you, Gertrude,” said her ladys.h.i.+p; ”but I know your obstinacy, and I maintain that it would be utter madness for you to see that man after your marriage.”
”But, mamma, you would not think of pressing on that affair now Renee is in such trouble.”
”What has that to do with it, child? What has Renee's trouble to do with your marriage? Lord Henry has been put off long enough. I wish you to accept him; and I am convinced that a word, even a look, would make him propose.”
”Oh, mamma!”
”Gertrude, I insist! I know he likes you, and if he is to be kept back like this, a scheming woman will secure him for some creature or another. Why, it is nearly a month since he called, and no wonder, after your icy conduct! I shall take steps at once. Let me see, a dinner-party will be best. There, I'm going out; I'll resume the subject on my return.”
”Oh, mamma, mamma!” cried Gertrude as soon as she was alone. ”But I will not; I'd sooner die.”
Lady Millet was put off from resuming the subject on her return, and during her absence Gertrude had relieved her troubled heart by writing a letter of no small importance to herself.
Next day she was driven to Chesham Place with Lady Millet, who left her there while her ladys.h.i.+p went to attend to some shopping.
”Not been back?” said Gertrude eagerly, as she gazed in her sister's pale face.
”No, Gertrude, not yet,” replied Renee; ”but he will come soon, I hope,”
she continued, with a sigh full of resignation; ”I am waiting. And now about your troubles. Is this affair to take place?”
”So mamma says,” replied Gertrude, with a bitter smile. ”Like you, I am to have an establishment.”