Part 6 (1/2)
”Home,” he said one day to Lily Cardew. ”Mostly it's the home they've left, and maybe they didn't think so much of it then. But they do now.
And if it isn't that, it's the home they want to have some day.” He looked at Lily. Sometimes she smiled at things he said, and if she had not been grave he would not have gone on. ”You know,” he continued, ”there's mostly a girl some place. All this talk about the nation, now--” He settled himself on the edge of the pine table where old Anthony Cardew's granddaughter had been figuring up her week's accounts, and lighted his pipe, ”the nation's too big for us to understand. But what is the nation, but a bunch of homes?”
”w.i.l.l.y dear,” said Lily Cardew, ”did you take any money out of the cigar box for anything this week?”
”Dollar sixty-five for lard,” replied w.i.l.l.y dear. ”As I was saying, we've got to think of this country in terms of homes. Not palaces like yours--”
”Good gracious!” said Lily, ”I don't live in a palace. Get my pocket-book, will you? I'm out three dollars somehow, and I'd rather make it up myself than add these figures over again. Go on and talk, w.i.l.l.y. I love hearing you.”
”Not palaces like yours,” repeated Mr. Cameron, ”and not hovels. But mostly self-respecting houses, the homes of the plain people. The middle cla.s.s, Miss Cardew. My cla.s.s. The people who never say anything, but are squeezed between capital, represented by your grandfather, with its parasites, represented by you, and--”
”You represent the people who never say anything,” observed the slightly flushed parasite of capital, ”about as adequately as I represent the idle rich.”
Yet not even old Anthony could have resented the actual relations.h.i.+p between them. Lily Cardew, working alone in her hut among hundreds of men, was as without s.e.x consciousness as a child. Even then her flaming interest was in the private soldiers. The officers were able to amuse themselves; they had money and opportunity. It was the doughboys she loved and mothered. For them she organized her little entertainments.
For them she played and sang in the evenings, when the field range in the kitchen was cold, and her blistered fingers stumbled sometimes over the keys of the jingling camp piano.
Gradually, out of the chaos of her early impressions, she began to divide the men in the army into three parts. There were the American born; they took the war and their part in it as a job to be done, with as few words as possible. And there were the foreigners to whom America was a religion, a dream come true, whose flaming love for their new mother inspired them to stuttering eloquence and awkward gestures. And then there was a third division, small and mostly foreign born, but with a certain percentage of native malcontents, who hated the war and sneered among themselves at the other dupes who believed that it was a war for freedom. It was a capitalists' war. They considered the state as an instrument of oppression, as a bungling interference with liberty and labor; they felt that wealth inevitably brought depravity. They committed both open and overt acts against discipline, and found in their arrest and imprisonment renewed grievances, additional oppression, tyranny. And one day a handful of them, having learned Lily's ident.i.ty, came into her hut and attempted to bait her.
”Gentlemen,” said one of them, ”we have here an example of one of the idle rich, sacrificing herself to make us happy. Now, boys, be happy.
Are we all happy?” He surveyed the group. ”Here, you,” he addressed a sullen-eyed squat Hungarian. ”Smile when I tell you. You're a slave in one of old Cardew's mills, aren't you? Well, aren't you grateful to him?
Here he goes and sends his granddaughter--”
w.i.l.l.y Cameron had entered the room with a platter of doughnuts in his hand, and stood watching, his face going pale. Quite suddenly there was a crash, and the gang leader went down in a welter of porcelain and fried pastry. w.i.l.l.y Cameron was badly beaten up, in the end, and the beaters were court-martialed. But something of Lily's fine faith in humanity was gone.
”But,” she said to him, visiting him one day in the base hospital, where he was still an aching, ma.s.s of bruises, ”there must be something behind it. They didn't hate me. They only hated my--well, my family.”
”My dear child,” said w.i.l.l.y Cameron, feeling very old and experienced, and, it must be confessed, extremely happy, ”of course there's something behind it. But the most that's behind it is a lot of fellows who want without working what the other fellow's worked to get.”
It was about that time that Lily was exchanged into the town near the camp, and w.i.l.l.y Cameron suddenly found life a stale thing, and ashes in the mouth. He finally decided that he had not been such a hopeless fool as to fall in love with her, but that it would be as well not to see her too much.
”The thing to do,” he reasoned to himself, ”is, first of all, not to see her. Or only on Friday nights, because she likes the movies, and it would look queer to stop.” Thus w.i.l.l.y Cameron speciously to himself, and deliberately ignoring the fact that some twenty-odd officers stood ready to seize those Friday nights. ”And then to work hard, so I'll sleep better, and not lie awake making a fool of myself. And when I get a bit of idiocy in the daytime, I'd better just walk it off. Because I've got to live with myself a long time, probably, and I'm no love-sick Romeo.”
Which excellent practical advice had cost him considerable shoe-leather at first. In a month or two, however, he considered himself quite cured, and pretended to himself that he was surprised to find it Friday again.
But when, after retreat, the band marched back again to its quarters playing, for instance, ”There's a Long, Long Trail,” there was something inside him that insisted on seeing the years ahead as a long, long trail, and that the trail did not lead to the lands of his dreams.
He got to know that very well indeed during the winter that followed the armistice. Because there was work to do he stayed and finished up, as did Lily Cardew. But the hut was closed and she was working in the town, and although they kept up their Friday evenings, the old intimacy was gone. And one night she said:
”Isn't it amazing, when you are busy, how soon Friday night comes along?”
And on each day of the preceding week he had wakened and said to himself: ”This is Monday--”--or whatever it might be--”and in four more days it will be Friday.”
In February he was sent home. Lily stayed on until the end of March. He went back to his little village of plain people, and took up life again as best he could. But sometimes it seemed to him that from behind every fire-lit window in the evenings--he was still wearing out shoe-leather, particularly at nights--somebody with a mandolin was wailing about the long, long trail.
His mother watched him anxiously. He was thinner than ever, and oddly older, and there was a hollow look about his eyes that hurt her.
”Why don't you bring home a bottle of tonic from the store, w.i.l.l.y,” she said, one evening when he had been feverishly running through the city newspaper. He put the paper aside hastily.
”Tonic!” he said. ”Why, I'm all right, mother. Anyhow, I wouldn't take any of that stuff.” He caught her eye and looked away. ”It takes a little time to get settled again, that's all, mother.”