Part 25 (2/2)

Perfume?--Cent, per cent.

Style of Beauty?--The Subscriber's.

Names, Male and Female?--_M'aimez_ (Maimie) for a female, and Tacus and Marius for males.

Painters?--Sign-painters.

Poet?--Robert Browning, when he has a lucid interval.

Poetess?--Timothy t.i.tcomb.

Prose Author?--Noah Webster, LL.D.

Characters in Romance?--The Napoleon Family.

In History?--King Herod.

Book to take up for an hour?--Rothschild's pocket-book.

If not yourself, who would you rather be?--The Wandering Jew, with a nice annuity.

What is your idea of happiness?--Finding the b.u.t.tons all on.

Your idea of Misery?--Breaking an egg in your pocket.

What is your _bete noire_?--(What is my which?)

What do you most dread?--Exposure.

What do you believe to be your Distinguis.h.i.+ng Characteristic?--Hunger.

What is the Sublimest Pa.s.sion of which human nature is capable?--Loving your sweetheart's enemies.

What are the Sweetest Words in the world?--”Not Guilty.”

What is your Aim in Life?--To endeavour to be absent when my time comes.

What is your Motto?--Be virtuous, and you will be eccentric.

ANGLING CHEER [Sidenote: _Izaak Walton_]

Let me tell you, Scholar, that Diogenes walked on a day, with his friend, to see a country fair; where he saw ribbons, and looking-gla.s.ses, and nut-crackers, and fiddles, and hobby-horses, and many other gimcracks; and, having observed them, and all the other finnimbruns that make a complete country-fair, he said to his friend, ”Lord, how many things are there in this world of which Diogenes hath no need!” And truly it is so, or might be so, with very many who vex and toil themselves to get what they have no need of. Can any man charge G.o.d, that he hath not given him enough to make his life happy? No, doubtless; for nature is content with a little. And yet you shall hardly meet with a man that complains not of some want; though he, indeed, wants nothing but his will; it may be, nothing but his will of his poor neighbour, for not wors.h.i.+pping, or not flattering him: and thus, when we might be happy and quiet, we create trouble to ourselves. I have heard of a man that was angry with himself because he was no taller; and of a woman that broke her looking-gla.s.s because it would not show her face to be as young and handsome as her next neighbour's was. And I knew another to whom G.o.d had given health and plenty; but a wife that nature had made peevish, and her husband's riches had made purse-proud; and must, because she was rich, and for no other virtue, sit in the highest pew in the church; which being denied her, she engaged her husband into a contention for it, and at last into a lawsuit with a dogged neighbour who was as rich as he, and had a wife as peevish and purse-proud as the other: and this lawsuit begot higher oppositions, and actionable words, and more vexations and lawsuits; for you must remember that both were rich, and must therefore have their wills. Well! this wilful, purse-proud lawsuit lasted during the life of the first husband; after which his wife vext and chid, and chid and vext, till she also chid and vext herself into her grave: and so the wealth of these poor rich people was curst into a punishment, because they wanted meek and thankful hearts; for those only can make us happy. I knew a man that had health and riches; and several houses, all beautiful, and ready furnished; and would often trouble himself and family to be removing from one house to another: and being asked by a friend why he removed so often from one house to another, replied, ”It was to find content in some one of them.”

But his friend, knowing his temper, told him, ”If he would find content in any of his houses, he must leave himself behind him; for content will never dwell but in a meek and quiet soul.” And this may appear, if we read and consider what our Saviour says in St. Matthew's Gospel; for He there says: ”Blessed be the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed be the pure in heart, for they shall see G.o.d. Blessed be the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” And, ”Blessed be the meek, for they shall possess the earth.” Not that the meek shall not also obtain mercy, and see G.o.d, and be comforted, and at last come to the kingdom of heaven: but in the meantime, he, and he only, possesses the earth, as he goes towards that kingdom of heaven, by being humble and cheerful, and content with what his good G.o.d has allotted him. He has no turbulent, repining, vexatious thoughts that he deserves better; nor is vext when he sees others possest of more honour or more riches than his wise G.o.d has allotted for his share; but he possesses what he has with a meek and contented quietness, such a quietness as makes his very dreams pleasing, both to G.o.d and himself.

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