Part 38 (2/2)
”Let us walk,” said Miss Fane to Vivian, for she was now leaning upon his arm; ”the evening is deliriously soft, but even with the protection of a cashmere I scarcely dare venture to stand still. Lady Madeleine seems very much engaged at present. What amusing people these Fitzlooms are!”
”Mrs. Fitzloom; I have not heard her voice yet.”
”No; Mrs. Fitzloom does not talk. Albert says she makes it a rule never to speak in the presence of a stranger. She deals plenteously, however, at home in domestic apophthegms. If you could but hear him imitating them all! Whenever she does speak, she finishes all her sentences by confessing that she is conscious of her own deficiencies, but that she has taken care to give her daughters the very best education. They are what Albert calls fine girls, and I am glad he has made friends with them; for, after all, he must find it rather dull here. By-the-bye, Mr.
Grey, I am afraid that you cannot find this evening very amusing, the absence of a favourite pursuit always makes a sensible void, and these walls must remind you of more piquant pleasures than waltzing with fine London ladies, or promenading up a dull terrace with an invalid.”
”I a.s.sure you that you are quite misinformed as to the mode in which I generally pa.s.s my evenings.”
”I hope I am!” said Miss Fane, in rather a serious tone. ”I wish I could also he mistaken in my suspicions of the mode in which Albert spends his time. He is sadly changed. For the first month that we were here he seemed to prefer nothing in the world to our society, and now--I was nearly saying that we had not seen him for one single evening these three weeks. I cannot understand what you find at this house of such absorbing interest. Although I know you think I am much mistaken in my suspicions, still I feel very anxious. I spoke to Albert to-day; but he scarcely answered me; or said that which it was a pleasure for me to forget.”
”Mr. St. George should feel highly gratified in having excited such an interest in the mind of Miss Fane.”
”He should not feel more gratified than all who are my friends; for all who are such I must ever experience the liveliest interest.”
”How happy must those be who feel that they have a right to count Miss Fane among their friends!”
”I have the pleasure then, I a.s.sure you, of making many happy, and among them, Mr. Grey.”
Vivian was surprised that he did not utter some complimentary answer; but he knew not why, the words would not come; and instead of speaking, he was thinking of what had been spoken.
”How brilliant are these gardens!” said Vivian, looking at the sky.
”Very brilliant!” said Miss Fane, looking on the ground. Conversation seemed nearly extinct, and yet neither offered to turn back.
”Good heavens! you are ill,” exclaimed Vivian, when, on accidentally turning to his companion, he found she was in tears. ”Shall we go back, or will you wait here? Can I fetch anything? I fear you are very ill!”
”No, not very ill, but very foolish; let us walk on,” and, sighing, she seemed suddenly to recover.
”I am ashamed of this foolishness; what can you think? But I am so agitated, so nervous. I hope you will forget--I hope--”
”Perhaps the air has suddenly affected you; shall we go in? Nothing has been said, nothing happened; no one has dared to say or do anything to annoy you? Speak, dear Miss Fane, the, the--” the words died on Vivian's lips, yet a power he could not withstand urged him to speak, ”the, the, the Baron?”
”Ah!” almost shrieked Miss Fane. ”Stop one second; an effort, and I must be well; nothing has happened, and no one has done or said anything; but it is of something that should be said, of something that should be done, that I was thinking, and it overcame me.”
”Miss Fane,” said Vivian, ”if there be anything which I can do or devise, any possible way that I can exert myself in your service, speak with the most perfect confidence; do not fear that your motives will be misconceived, that your purpose will be misinterpreted, that your confidence will be misunderstood. You are addressing one who would lay down his life for you, who is willing to perform all your commands, and forget them when performed. I beseech you to trust me; believe me, that you shall not repent.”
She answered not, but holding down her head, covered her face with her small white hand; her lovely face which was crimsoned with her flas.h.i.+ng blood. They were now at the end of the terrace; to return was impossible. If they remained stationary, they must be perceived and joined. What was to be done? He led her down a retired walk still farther from the house. As they proceeded in silence, the bursts of the music and the loud laughter of the joyous guests became fainter and fainter, till at last the sounds died away into echo, and echo into silence.
A thousand thoughts dashed through Vivian's mind in rapid succession; but a painful one, a most painful one to him, to any man, always remained the last. His companion would not speak; yet to allow her to return home without freeing her mind of the fearful burden which evidently overwhelmed it, was impossible. At length he broke a silence which seemed to have lasted an age.
”Do not believe that I am taking advantage of an agitating moment to extract from you a confidence which you may repent. I feel a.s.sured that I am right in supposing that you have contemplated in a calmer moment the possibility of my being of service to you; that, in short, there is something in which you require my a.s.sistance, my co-operation; an a.s.sistance, a co-operation, which, if it produce any benefit to you, will make me at length feel that I have not lived in vain. No feeling of false delicacy shall prevent me from a.s.sisting you in giving utterance to thoughts which you have owned it is absolutely necessary should be expressed. Remember that you have allowed me to believe that we are friends; do not prove by your silence that we are friends only in name.”
”I am overwhelmed; I cannot speak. My face burns with shame; I have miscalculated my strength of mind, perhaps my physical strength; what, what must you think of me?” She spoke in a low and smothered voice.
”Think of you! everything which the most devoted respect dare think of an object which it reverences. Do not believe that I am one who would presume an instant on my position, because I have accidentally witnessed a young and lovely woman betrayed into a display of feeling which the artificial forms of cold society cannot contemplate, and dare to ridicule. You are speaking to one who also has felt; who, though a man, has wept; who can comprehend sorrow; who can understand the most secret sensations of an agitated spirit. Dare to trust me. Be convinced that hereafter, neither by word nor look, hint nor sign, on my part, shall you feel, save by your own wish, that you have appeared to Vivian Grey in any other light than in the saloons we have just quitted.”
”Generous man, I dare trust anything to you that I dare trust to human being; but--” here her voice died away.
”It is a painful thing for me to attempt to guess your thoughts; but if it be of Mr. St. George that you are thinking, have no fear respecting him; have no fear about his present situation. Trust to me that there shall be no anxiety for his future one. I will be his unknown guardian, his unseen friend; the promoter of your wishes, the protector of your--”
<script>