Part 9 (2/2)
”Mr. Puff, allow me to introduce you to Lord Alhambra,” said Ernest Clay, by which means Mr. Puff's servant's last good thing was lost.
”Mr. Clay, are you an archer?” asked Cynthia Courtown.
”No, fair Dian; but I can act Endymion.”
”I don't know what you mean. Go away.”
”Aubrey Vere, welcome to ----s.h.i.+re. Have you seen Prima Donna?”
”No; is he here? How did you like his last song in the Age?”
”His last song! Pooh! pooh! he only supplies the scandal.”
”Groves,” said Sir Hanway Etherington, ”have you seen the newspaper this morning? Baron Crupper has tried fifteen men for horse-stealing at York, and acquitted every one.”
”Well then, Sir Hanway, I think his Lords.h.i.+p's remarkable wrong; for when a man gets a horse to suit him, if he loses it, 'tisn't so easy to suit himself again. That's the ground I stand upon.”
All this time the Marquess of Carabas had wanted Vivian Grey twenty times, but that gentleman had not appeared. The important moment arrived, and his Lords.h.i.+p offered his arm to Mrs. Million, who, as the Gotha Almanack says, ”takes precedence of all Archd.u.c.h.esses, Grand d.u.c.h.esses, d.u.c.h.esses, Princesses, Landgravines, Margravines, Palsgravines, &c. &c. &c.”
CHAPTER XIII
In their pa.s.sage to the Hall, the Marquess and Mrs. Million met Vivian Grey, booted and spurred, and covered with mud.
”Oh! Mrs. Million--Mr. Vivian Grey. How is this, my dear fellow? you will be too late.”
”Immense honour!” said Vivian, bowing to the ground to the lady. ”Oh! my Lord I was late, and made a short cut over Fearnley Bog. It has proved a very Moscow expedition. However, I am keeping you. I shall be in time for the guava and liqueurs, and you know that is the only refreshment I ever take.”
”Who is that, Marquess?” asked Mrs. Million.
”That is Mr. Vivian Grey, the most monstrous clever young man, and nicest fellow I know.”
”He does, indeed, seem, a very nice young man,” said Mrs. Million.
Some steam process should be invented for arranging guests when they are above five hundred. In the present instance all went wrong when they entered the Hall; but, at last, the arrangements, which, of course, were of the simplest nature, were comprehended, and the guests were seated.
There were three tables, each stretching down the Hall; the dais was occupied by a military band. The number of guests, the contrast between the antique chamber and their modern costumes, the music, the various liveried menials, all combined to produce a whole, which at the same time was very striking, and ”in remarkable good taste.”
In process of time, Mr. Vivian Grey made his entrance. There were a few vacant seats at the bottom of the table, ”luckily for him,” as kindly remarked Mr. Grumbleton. To the astonishment and indignation, however, of this worthy squire, the late comer pa.s.sed by the unoccupied position, and proceeded onward with undaunted coolness, until he came to about the middle of the middle table, and which was nearly the best situation in the Hall.
”Beautiful Cynthia,” said Vivian Grey, softly and sweetly whispering in Miss Courtown's ear, ”I am sure you will give up your place to me; you have nerve enough, you know, for anything, and would no more care for standing out than I for sitting in.” There is nothing like giving a romp credit for a little boldness. To keep up her character she will out-herod Herod.
”Oh! Grey, is it you? certainly, you shall have my place immediately; but I am not sure that we cannot make room for you. Dormer Stanhope, room must be made for Grey, or I shall leave the table immediately. You men!” said the hoyden, turning round to a set of surrounding servants, ”push this form down and put a chair between.”
The men obeyed. All who sat lower in the table on Miss Cynthia Courtown's side than that lady, were suddenly propelled downwards about the distance of two feet. Dr. Sly, who was flouris.h.i.+ng a carving-knife and fork, preparatory to dissecting a gorgeous haunch, had these fearful instruments suddenly precipitated into a trifle, from whose sugared trellis-work he found great difficulty in extricating them; while Miss Gusset, who was on the point of cooling herself with some exquisite iced jelly, found her frigid portion as suddenly transformed into a plate of peculiarly ardent curry, the property, but a moment before, of old Colonel Rangoon. Everything, however, receives a civil reception from a toad-eater, so Miss Gusset burnt herself to death by devouring a composition, which would have reduced anyone to ashes who had not fought against Bundoolah.
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