Part 38 (1/2)

Alone with the outselves of a thousand mages, Danny suddenly became aware that they were screaming. And loudest of all, the huge and powerful outself of the Gate Thief. They weren't doing doing anything, but they were filled with fear and hatred and hope and hunger all at once, and they were screaming in his mind, and all that he could do was scream back at them until he dropped from the rope onto the floor of the gym, screaming and gasping and screaming again. He could not hear his own mind, no matter how loud he screamed. I am Danny, he was trying to say. I am Danny, this is anything, but they were filled with fear and hatred and hope and hunger all at once, and they were screaming in his mind, and all that he could do was scream back at them until he dropped from the rope onto the floor of the gym, screaming and gasping and screaming again. He could not hear his own mind, no matter how loud he screamed. I am Danny, he was trying to say. I am Danny, this is my my heart, not yours. It belongs to me. heart, not yours. It belongs to me.

It had never occurred to him, because he had not foreseen this outcome, that to take other mages' outselves into his heart would be the equivalent of a heartbound beast allowing the outself of a mage to ride him. And if Danny was not strong enough, not skilled enough, they would control him like a clant.

And Danny had no skill with this at all.

22.

JUSTICE.

Queen Bexoi seemed happy to see Wad when he appeared in the nursery. He had been watching her for more than two weeks, and she was never alone. He knew it was no coincidence, no accident. Whenever Prayard left her, she made sure someone else was with her-usually a court official, but when necessary, one of the nurses tending her child. Wad had seen her do exactly the same thing when avoiding the agents of Gray, only it had been even more difficult, of course, to avoid Wad, since he would know whenever she was alone and could get into any room. So when Queen Bexoi suddenly had not so much as a moment of privacy-she who had once had hours to herself every day, and who could could have solitude with a wave of her hand-Wad knew exactly what was going on. have solitude with a wave of her hand-Wad knew exactly what was going on.

Today, though, she had finally slipped. The nurse who was supposed to be in the nursery when Bexoi arrived had stumbled on the stairs and was now in the kitchen, having her wound bathed and bandaged by the day cook, Mast. So when Bexoi left her ladies-in-waiting at the door and came inside the nursery, she had no company but the baby, Oath. And, in a moment, Wad. They were alone together at last, unseen by anyone except the baby and whoever might be watching at the open viewport he had created in Anonoei's old room.

Yet Bexoi didn't bat an eye when he appeared. She smiled warmly, resting her folded arms across her huge belly, which was one month from delivery, and said, ”Oh, Wad, I've missed you so much, my only friend, please, sit down.”

He did not sit. He was here to make sure she knew that she could not harm Prince Oath with impunity. He had no time to waste. ”I realize that things are over between us, Bexoi,” he said, ”and I am not angry.”

”Over?” she said. ”Friends.h.i.+p does not end. end.”

”But I will never be in your bed again, and I'm content,” said Wad calmly-as deceptive as she was, and better at it.

”I have a husband, now, of course,” said Bexoi. ”My lonely vigil is over. You have been such a blessing in my life, do you think I could ever forget your kindness? You have my friends.h.i.+p and loyalty forever.”

Wad wondered how many times she had rehea.r.s.ed the speech, knowing that for any normal man it would be infuriating, would stir him to violence or ranting or grief. Was that what she wanted from him? Wad did not care-he was not here to follow her plans, but to bend her to his own.

”I came,” said Wad, ”to ask you whether Prayard's baby is doing well.”

Bexoi smiled beatifically, opening her arms to stroke the sides of her own belly with affection. But Wad saw her also become more tense, more alert. ”Why do you ask? Have you heard that I am unwell? That the baby is in danger of any kind?”

”How could a baby inside your womb be in danger?” asked Wad. ”Who would dare to reach inside your body and pinch off the cord until the baby died? What kind of monster would do such a thing, even if there was a man who could?”

There. The threat was made.

She grew solemn. ”I have a friend who makes sure that babies pa.s.s out of my body in their proper time, healthy and undamaged. He tends my body as well, so I suffer no ill effects. That friend is the most precious person in my life.”

Oh, yes, my love, he answered silently, do remember how childbirth nearly killed you-would have killed you, without my help. Think of that before you raise a hand against my son. ”Not more precious than Prayard,” said Wad. ”Not more precious than the baby you carry. Not more precious than the baby Oath whose birth has made you Queen and wife in fact as well as name.”

”Who can measure one love against another?”

”That is my question,” said Wad. ”I have in my possession, you see, a woman who was once the King's beloved, who gave him sons that once he loved. These last two weeks, as you avoided me, I found it harder and harder to get food for them unnoticed.”

”How unfortunate,” said Bexoi, with real sympathy in her voice, if not her eyes.

”It occurred to me that perhaps it is time, now that you occupy your proper place as Queen, for me to bring forth the prisoners who have spent a year and a half in my care. These were children the King once loved with all his heart. Think how happy you would make him, to produce them for him in his own bedroom, and their once-beloved mother, too. How he would thank you for having kept them alive all these months.”

Bexoi continued to smile, but her eyes were hard. ”I thought they must have pa.s.sed from the land of the living many months ago. I know I asked you from the start to send them plunging to the bottom of the lake.”

”What kind of warden would I be if I allowed such a misfortune to befall them? It's true that they could fall at any time, right out of their prison cell, but who knows where the gate that catches them might lead? Right now it leads to the top of the same cave. But it could lead here to the nursery. Or to the King's chamber.”

”Why are you threatening me like this?” asked Bexoi softly. ”When my husband's love is so new and fragile? You threaten my unborn baby, you threaten to return my husband's old lover and his b.a.s.t.a.r.d sons. Why would my friend betray me like this?”

”Why did you shun me?” asked Wad. ”Why did you cut me off without a word? What am I to think, except that you are plotting something?”

”I couldn't face you,” said Bexoi. Now her performance changed. Instead of happiness to see him, instead of utter innocence, she was now a helpless little girl, asking him for help, for understanding. ”I thought you would be angry. I was afraid.”

”You thought I'd take the hint and go away,” said Wad.

”You helped me when I was in need,” she said. ”I was showing you I was in need no more.”

”Telling would have been better than showing.”

”Asking would have been better than showing up uninvited,” she answered.

”You know I can't approach you openly. The kitchen boy? The castle monkey? The one that was named 'Wad of Dough' by the only one who loved him?”

”I loved you,” said Bexoi. ”I love you still.”

Wad ignored her. He knew this game. ”How quickly would they act to swat me away, to throw me out of Na.s.sa.s.sa? Or imprison me, if they thought I meant to speak with you alone?”

”If you know your place so well,” said Bexoi, ”perhaps you ought to have stayed there.”

Her words stung him. ”On the night when Luvix meant to poison you or stab you to death, should I have stayed in my place?”

”That night your place was with me.”

”And when Oath was conceived, should I have been in my place?”

”Your place was in bed with me, because I bade you come.”

”But now my place is back where I was before, as if you owed me nothing.”

”You slept with the Queen of Iceway, sister of the Jarl of Gray,” said Bexoi. ”You have had your reward. There is no other. My need for you has pa.s.sed.”

There it was, stated nakedly, without pretense. ”Then all is clear between us,” he said.

”No it isn't,” she said. ”You have threatened my unborn baby.”

”You know I'd never harm a child,” said Wad.

”You have kept two children prisoners in a cave, for a year and a half,” she said contemptuously.

”You charge me with a crime that I committed for your sake?”

”For my my sake you would have murdered them. I don't know for whose sake it is that you have kept them alive for all this time.” sake you would have murdered them. I don't know for whose sake it is that you have kept them alive for all this time.”

”I didn't need to share your bed, Bexoi. I know that's your husband's place. I could have continued to be your protector and ally, if you had only asked me.”