Part 22 (2/2)

Leslie nodded, frowning in thought. ”Perhaps that's how gatemages create gates that are strong enough to persist centuries after they die-they knit two or more gates together. I really can't say,” said Leslie. ”You realize that without a serious gatemage in nearly fourteen centuries, we don't know much, and what we do know is mostly guesswork or logical deduction.”

Meanwhile, Danny had been enumerating each group of gates. The largest batch was all the nonce gates he had made inside the Family compound before he knew that he was making gates at all. ”I might have overlooked some, but I think I've got about two hundred and fifty gates.”

”Mercy me,” said Leslie. ”All at the same time?”

”Well, I can only go through one at a time. And some of them are just little stutters, getting me through a wall or up a tree. You've got to remember I didn't know I was making them. I didn't know I was going through them. I just thought I was a good runner and climber.”

”You do understand that this is extraordinary. Great mages can often maintain up to a dozen separate clants, or ride two heartbeasts at once, sometimes three. But each division of the outself diminishes what remains. You should have run out of outself after the first dozen gates or so. In ancient times, the great gatemages used to treasure their gates, take pride in them, yet always hold a bit of outself in reserve, so they could get out of emergencies.”

Danny heard the implication loud and clear: He was doing something even the ”great mages” couldn't do.

”Of course, I don't know how much of your outself each gate requires,” said Leslie. ”Maybe all gatemages can maintain as many as you seem to have, and pretended to have only a few. They can't be that hard to control. After all, the gates don't do do anything, they just sit there, yes?” anything, they just sit there, yes?”

”Unless I move them.”

”You can move them?”

”Either end. I can slide the gate over somebody and sort of make them go through it.”

”So you can move people through your gates against their will?”

”Do you want me to show you?”

”I want you to promise you will never move me like that.”

”Even if you're lying helpless in front of an oncoming train or semitruck and I can gate you out of the way?”

”I will try to avoid getting in the way of large oncoming vehicles,” said Leslie, ”so it won't come up.”

Danny was already learning-but perhaps a little more than they had meant to tell him. And they were learning from him, too. Leslie meant him to know that he had had an outself, that his gates were his clants. But she had had no idea that either end of a gate could be moved or that a single gatemage could maintain so many at once. This seemed to Danny to be useful information. an outself, that his gates were his clants. But she had had no idea that either end of a gate could be moved or that a single gatemage could maintain so many at once. This seemed to Danny to be useful information.

”Since I could never find my outself, I didn't pay much attention when they were teaching the other kids about calling it in. I know there was some kind of danger that the outself could get lost. Or that it could drag too much of your inself with it, and so you could lose track of where your body is. But I don't see how any of it applies to gates. I always know where they are, and where I am. I don't feel feel like there's any part of me like there's any part of me in in them. How can I call them?” them. How can I call them?”

”How can I explain it? When I'm riding my heartbound, I just... gather it in, when I want to return to myself.”

”I don't know what that would even mean.”

”At least now you know that each gate is is a part of your outself.” a part of your outself.”

”That's like saying that gravity makes things fall. Naming it doesn't mean you understand it or can affect it in any way.”

”You know how it feels when you send out out your outself.” your outself.”

”I know how it feels when I make a gate,” said Danny. ”You're telling me it's a sending of my outself, but it still feels like... making a gate.”

They sat and looked at each other.

”This isn't working,” said Danny. ”Everybody but but me knows what you mean by 'gathering in your outself.' And you have no idea what it feels like to make a gate. Why are you so sure they're the same thing?” me knows what you mean by 'gathering in your outself.' And you have no idea what it feels like to make a gate. Why are you so sure they're the same thing?”

”I'm not sure.”

This was discouraging. There was going to be too much of the blind leading the blind in this ”education” he was launching into.

Yet it was also exhilarating to be discussing magery with someone who didn't regard him with pity or dread or contempt. To be spoken to as an equal, or at least as someone worthy of respect. Just the fact that these two, like Stone, took him seriously as a mage-maybe a great mage-changed his estimation of himself. Things like mooning the security guy at the library didn't feel so funny and clever anymore. Danny realized now that they were the actions of a defiant child, someone who feels small and weak and therefore has to show contempt for power-if he thinks he can get away with it.

I have this rare and frightening power, he thought, and all I could think of to do with it was bare my b.u.t.t and say nanner-nanner, because I knew they couldn't punish me.

But how much of the behavior of Lokis and Mercuries in the legends and Family histories came out of precisely that same childish sense of being inferior and yet capable of escaping punishment?

So he wanted to keep this adult conversation with Leslie going. ”I'm trying to think,” he said, ”what it is that I love and serve to gain the power to make gates. If If gatemagery really works according to the same principles as all the other magics.” gatemagery really works according to the same principles as all the other magics.”

”No one knows,” said Leslie. ”Some say that gatemages don't love or serve anything, which is why they're so dangerous and irresponsible and childish.”

That stung a little, but since Danny had just been thinking the same thing, he couldn't really take offense.

”But in recent years, in discussions among the Orphans, a theory has has come up.” come up.”

”I'd love to hear it, because as far as I know, I tried with all my heart to love and serve trees, potato plants, mice, dogs, and rock, to no effect. They didn't notice I was there, except the plants, and they withered.”

”It takes time.”

”It takes time to get really good at it,” said Danny. ”But for those with a real affinity, it takes no time at all for some spark spark to show up. Like me-whatever it is I have an affinity for, I never knew I was 'loving and serving' it. I just had the power to make gates, and then it was a reflex. Automatic. I didn't even know I was gating.” to show up. Like me-whatever it is I have an affinity for, I never knew I was 'loving and serving' it. I just had the power to make gates, and then it was a reflex. Automatic. I didn't even know I was gating.”

”So do you want to know the theory?” asked Leslie.

”All ears,” said Danny.

”s.p.a.cetime,” said Leslie.

”So I'm, like, the servant of physics?”

”That's science, not magery,” said Leslie with only a little contempt. ”Physics is measuring measuring it; you it; you change change it.” it.”

”Okay, so I love and serve s.p.a.cetime. I can't say it makes no no sense, because how does it make sense to love and serve stone or lightning or water? But s.p.a.cetime? That's kind of... sense, because how does it make sense to love and serve stone or lightning or water? But s.p.a.cetime? That's kind of... everything. everything. How can I love and serve How can I love and serve everything everything?”

”It's the bed in which everything else exists, but it's not, in itself, anything.”

”Now, see, that has to be offensive. To s.p.a.cetime, you know? Which is why you can't make gates.” Danny grinned.

”Danny, being flippant and making jokes isn't going to help you.”

Danny felt abashed, but then his defiant streak made him think of a contrary argument. ”How do you know it isn't isn't going to help me?” asked Danny. ”How do you know jokes aren't how s.p.a.cetime is loved and served? I mean, s.p.a.cetime is the causal universe, right? The set of relations.h.i.+ps between everything that exists in s.p.a.ce, which implies dimension, and in time, which implies causality.” Danny was rather proud of being able to toss out these terms, though he was pretty sure he barely understood them. going to help me?” asked Danny. ”How do you know jokes aren't how s.p.a.cetime is loved and served? I mean, s.p.a.cetime is the causal universe, right? The set of relations.h.i.+ps between everything that exists in s.p.a.ce, which implies dimension, and in time, which implies causality.” Danny was rather proud of being able to toss out these terms, though he was pretty sure he barely understood them.

”You must be a whiz of a student,” said Leslie. ”A real show-off in cla.s.s. But I do understand you. Besides, I married a cla.s.s show-off.”

”You know the saying 's.h.i.+t happens'?” asked Danny.

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