Part 54 (2/2)

”The results,” said Peter gravely, ”es versified.”

”What?”

”Otherwise, various. The results es various--inclinin' to Paul.”

”Well, let Paul do it.”

”Peter es oulder,” objected Paul.

”By dree minnits--which don't fairly count,” put in Peter.

”Peter,” observed Caleb, ”looks th' oulder--by full dree minnits.”

”Paul went to school afore me,” said Peter, ”by two days--along o'

measles.”

”Look 'ere,” decided Caleb, ”let Paul gi'e her away, an' you, bein'

the better spokesman, can propose th' health o' the bride an'

bridegroom.”

This satisfied them, and so it was arranged at the wedding. I am not going to describe the ceremony--at which I had the privilege of holding my friend's hat--beyond saying that woman, as is usual on these occasions, was a success, and man a dismal failure. There was one exception. When little Susie Clemow, who at Mr. Fogo's express desire was one of the bridesmaids, identified the bridegroom with the strange gentleman who had frightened her in the lane, and burst into loud screams in the middle of the service, I could not sufficiently admire the readiness with which Peter Dearlove produced a packet of brandy-b.a.l.l.s from his tail-pocket to comfort her, or the prescience which led him to bring such confectionery to a wedding.

At the breakfast, too, which, owing to the dimensions of the Dearloves' cottage, was perforce select, Peter again shone.

In proposing the health of Mr. and Mrs. Fogo, he said--

”On an occasion like the present et becomes us not to repine.

These things es sent us for our good” (here he looked doubtfully at the cake), ”an' wan man's meat es t'other's p'ison, which I hopes”

(severely) ”you knawed wi'out my tellin' 'ee; an' I shudn' wonder ef Paul an' me was to draw lots wan o' these fine days as to which o' us shud take the pledge--I means, the plunge--an' go an' scarify hissel'

'pon the high menial altar.”

Immense excitement at this point prevailed among certain elderly spinsters present.

”That was a joke,” explained the speaker, with a sudden and stony solemnity, ”an' I hopes 'twill be tuk in the sperrit in which 'twas meant. An' wi' that I gi'es Tamsin's health an' that o' P. Fogo, Esquire, to whom she has been this day made man an' wife; an' bless them an' their dear offspring!”

At this point he was sitting down when Paul leant across and whispered in his ear.

”You are right, Paul,” said the orator--”or offsprings. Bless their dear offspring _or_ offsprings--as the case may be.”

And with this he resumed his seat amid frantic applause.

The Twins alone escorted the bride and bridegroom to the railway-station; and with the accident that there befell, the chronicle of Mr. Fogo's adventures may for the present close.

While the brothers saw Tamsin to her carriage, and with their white waistcoats and gigantic favours planted awe in the breast of the travelling public, the bridegroom dived into the Booking Office to take the tickets for London; for Mr. and Mrs. Fogo were to spend some days in the Metropolis before crossing the Channel.

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