Part 16 (1/2)

That made him wince.

”By G.o.d, that hurts!” he muttered, and he leant back, put his hand to his eyes, and sat hunched up in silence. Presently he sighed. ”You're right. I'm only a fool, am I?”

”If she cared for you, it might have hurt _her_ to know,” I said.

”Don't, please. You make me think; and I don't want to think.”

”If she loved you then, she would scarcely love you now.”

”Don't, I say, don't,” he cried, with sudden vehemence. ”You are so like her that to hear this from you is almost as if----I beg your pardon. But for a moment I believe I was almost fool enough to feel something. No, no; don't write or do any other silly thing of the sort. It doesn't matter;” and he tossed up his hands helplessly.

We sat for a few moments without speaking, and presently he began to fumble in his pocket. He glanced at me rather shamefacedly, and then with an air of bravado took out a phial of morphia pills.

”Since you know, it doesn't matter,” he said, half-apologetically.

”It does matter very much,” I declared, earnestly.

He held the little bottle making ready to open it, and met my eyes.

”Why?”

”Would you take it if she were here?”

”I don't know;” and he heaved a deep sigh.

”Think that she is here, and then you daren't take it.”

He laughed. ”Daren't I?” and he partly unscrewed the cap.

I put my hand on his arm. ”For her sake,” I said.

”It means hours of h.e.l.l to me if I don't.”

”It means a life of h.e.l.l if you do.”

”I must.”

”For her sake,” I pleaded again, and held out my hand for the phial.

”You would torture me?”

”Yes, for your good.”

The struggle in him was acute and searching. ”It's no good; I can't,”

he murmured, his gaze on the phial.

I summoned all the will power at my command and forced him to meet my eyes. ”For her sake; as if she were here; give it me,” I said.

”I shall hate you if you make me.”