Part 13 (2/2)

'I wasn't intending to,' she hissed back. 'Not unless it comes back this way.'

'Look at that proboscis.'

'That what?'

'That oh, never mind.'

The thing suddenly flashed towards her, too fast for her to see. She tried to duck, but knew she would be too late. Her heart seemed to stop as she waited for the impact.

Nothing came.

She opened her eyes. For a moment she thought she had gone blind, then she realized there was a dark shape blocking her vision.

The Doctor's hat.

He lowered his hand, carefully squas.h.i.+ng the hat closed. Something within it buzzed, and the hat shook slightly.

'Fast,' he said. 'But not fast enough. Good thing this hat is made from something more than just cloth.'

'Doctor . . . ' she said shakily. There was another whine nearby, and her head jerked involuntarily. Sweat p.r.i.c.kled across her back. This place was deadly.

'We need to disguise ourselves,' he said. 'We're alien in this place. Too noticeable.' He looked around thoughtfully, brightening as his gaze fell upon a large blue flower shaped like a bucket.

'Is there any liquid inside that thing?'

Bernice walked carefully over to check.

'Yes. And some of those flying things Looks like they've drowned.' She looked closer. 'And they're dissolving.'84.

'Thought so. Don't put your hands in the liquid.'

'I have no intention of putting my hands in the liquid. What is it?'

'Digestive fluid,' he said. 'Probably gives off a scent that the things find attractive.'

'Fine. Does this help us?'

'It does. Interesting how evolution converges on so many planets. Where you get insects, or some equivalent, there's usually some kind of plant that lures them to it somehow and kills them.'

He walked over to join her and tugged experimentally on the leaves that made up the bowl.

'Quite tough, too.'

Bernice listened, trying to block out the sound of the jungle. The flitter seemed to be circling overhead.

'They're trying to track us,' she said.

'They won't have much luck,' the Doctor murmured, still testing the strength of the plant. 'The jungle is about the same temperature as our bodies. We should be s.h.i.+elded.' He smiled. 'However, the military mind being what it is, they have to run through all the usual checks first. Ultra-violet, infrared, boson count, pheremonic trackers. Once they discover they don't work, they'll land and track us on foot.'

'And our one chance do we know what it is yet?'

He smiled sunnily.

'We go on the offensive,' he said. 'Now, one of us has a little sewing to do, and the other one will have to catch some more of those flying things. Shall we toss a coin for it?'

From his elevated position, Baron Heddolli took a deep breath, and launched into another subordinate clause to a digression that he had started some twenty minutes before. Tiny camerabots with the words The Empire Today The Empire Today on their side stalked around him on long, multi-jointed legs, desperately looking for his best side. Behind him, the shuttle that had brought the Hith amba.s.sadors to Earth lurched from the ground, causing acrid dust to swirl around the greeting party of minor n.o.bles and the Landsknecht Honour Guard, covering silk robes and armoured uniforms alike. on their side stalked around him on long, multi-jointed legs, desperately looking for his best side. Behind him, the shuttle that had brought the Hith amba.s.sadors to Earth lurched from the ground, causing acrid dust to swirl around the greeting party of minor n.o.bles and the Landsknecht Honour Guard, covering silk robes and armoured uniforms alike.

'. . . and it was Duke Marmion himself,' the baron proclaimed in his dry monotone, 'Lord Protector of the Solar System and its Environs, who, in his definitive marshalling of the sovereign degrees of honour, a.s.signed the premier position to the Condirotores Imperiorum Condirotores Imperiorum, founders of the Empire, without whose august and ever-vigilant hand . . . '

Dweller In Sorrow Abandoned And Lost ran a pseudo-limb up her eyestalks, trying to perk them up a bit. 'How much longer is that d.a.m.ned hu-85man going to prattle on for?' she whispered to her aide. 'If I can't get some time alone in a mucus bath soon, I'm going to go mad, and to Jakkat Jakkat with the diplomatic consequences!' with the diplomatic consequences!'

'He's clocked up two hours so far,' Avenging Injustice And Burning With Ire sighed, edging slightly away from his superior. 'As welcome speeches go, it's impressive. I'm not enjoying this any more than you are. Just retract your eyes and pretend you're alone.'

'Impressive my basal foot,' Dweller In Sorrow growled. 'That sun's drying my skin out like leather.'

'. . . we would be in a position diametrically opposed to the one we find ourselves in now,' Heddolli continued pathetically. 'Truly the strength of humanity is its ability to build up from the discordant elements of our nature the pa.s.sions, the interests, the opinions of the individual human, the rivalries of family, clan, tribe and caste, the influences of climate and planetary position, the accidents of peace and war acc.u.mulated for ages to build up from those oft-times warring elements a well-compacted, prosperous and powerful empire . . . '

The two Hith stared forlornly at Baron Heddolli's plump form. In the con-voluted hierarchy of ranks and positions that made up Earth's peerage he was relatively unimportant, controlling only a three-hundred-level slice of s.p.a.ceport Ten, but the Hith diplomatic mission had to be welcomed at the s.p.a.ceport by him before they could see the Viscount of s.p.a.ceport Ten, and they had to see the Viscount before they could pet.i.tion for a meeting with the Countess of s.p.a.ceports One to Ten, and they had to pet.i.tion for a meeting with the Countess before the Marquesa of Earth would deign to receive them, and the Marquesa had to receive them before they could attend the court of the Duke of the Solar System, and they had to attend the court of the Duke before they could be granted an audience with the Divine Empress herself. And an audience with the Empress was the only way that the Hith could ever hope to regain Hithis.

Mathematics had never been Dweller In Sorrow's strong point, but she had a terrible feeling that they were trapped in an infinite regression of petty offi-cialdom.

'. . . an empire whose benign and controlling hand extends to friend and foe alike,' the baron pressed on, regardless of the increasing restlessness of the petty n.o.bles in the welcoming party, not to mention the two Hith dignitaries.

'To human and alien, to those who, in their turn, reach out to grasp its tender embrace and to those who spurn its overtures. And yet, were that effort to be accomplished by one effort in one generation, it would require more than . . . '

'What's that shuttle pilot doing?' Avenging Injustice murmured, extending 86an eyestalk to where the s.p.a.cecraft that had taken off moments ago was turning and heading back towards them.

'I don't know and I don't care!' snapped Dweller In Sorrow. 'I just want to get to a decent hotel and dive into a pool of hot mucus.'

The craft was getting nearer now, weaving erratically through the sky towards them. A number of the Landsknechte had noticed it too, and Dweller In Sorrow watched in disbelief as they reached for their weapons. What was this: an a.s.sa.s.sination attempt? And if so, against whom?

Baron Heddolli's voice was almost drowned out by the roar of the s.h.i.+p's jets now. Irritated, he turned around, still talking. Dweller In Sorrow didn't know much about human body language, but even from behind she could spot the shock, outrage and fear that pa.s.sed through the baron's plump frame.

Around him, the glue of tradition and custom that was holding the various minor peers and dignitaries together suddenly failed. The crowd scattered in every direction.

The shuttle was close enough that Dweller In Sorrow could see the human pilot the woman that had brought them down from their orbiting s.h.i.+p. There was no expression on her face.

'Diplomacy or no diplomacy,' shouted Avenging Injustice over the roar of the engines, 'I think that we should get out of the way!' Extending a pseudo-limb, he dragged Dweller In Sorrow to one side.

He was only just in time. The shuttle ploughed into the ground some ten feet in front of the baron's podium. Tentacles of flame spread out across the s.p.a.ceport, carrying with them the sweet smell of protonic fuel rods.

Dweller In Sorrow almost caused a diplomatic incident by laughing out loud, but managed to stifle her reaction before anybody saw her. After all, who would believe that the baron had still been reciting his speech when he fried?

The bot walked towards Powerless Friendless with small, precise steps. Rain-drops trickled down its metal sides, pooling in its joints and waterfalling to the wooden slats of the walkway as it moved. There was something about its stance and the light that glowed in its visual sensors that made it look as if it knew something that Powerless Friendless didn't. Which, Powerless Friendless reflected, was almost certainly true.

Powerless Friendless glanced quickly round. The walkway behind him was empty. The question was, if he made a slither for it, could the bot catch him?

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