Chapter 389 (1/2)

Not an Ordinary Person

Seeing Zhao Youyue’s response being as gentle as always, he suddenly felt as if he had been transported back to their eleventh grade. She had also borne such short hair, and had been remarkably shameless, casually asking him to write reviews on her behalf, even paying large sums of money for them

For no reason whatsoever, his heart suddenly started fluttering. He understood plainly that Zhao Youyue was like the clouds in heaven, unattainable beyond words. He could only look up at her. But he simply could not suppress the urge of wanting to get closer to her, even if he was undertaking a road that led to nowhere.

In his private notebook, there were countless pages about her, and in all forms they took, be it poems, essays, or casual literary notes. Her face, and that gentle smile sent his pen into a frenzy.

That had once been his greatest motivation in writing. Even his inspirations of “Beautiful April” had originated from the time when he inadvertently caught sight of Zhao Youyue playing her violin in the midst of the roving cherry blossoms.

“Beautiful April” eventually deviated from his original intentions, which had been particularly peculiar, even by his standards.

Long hair, short hair, it made no difference to him. The long-hair Goddess version of Zhao Youyue reminded Han Leng of his mental imagery of Chu Luoxun and Ah Yu’s songs. The short-hair Zhao Youyue was far more approachable and brought back memories of his first love.

Frankly, the long-hair Goddess version of Zhao Youyue had been far too outstanding. She was a black-hole of attention wherever she went. A simple smile blasted the words “LADY” at you. That pressure was not meant for mere mortals. Any regular man would crumble under that force,where meeting her eyes would become nigh impossible.

If we were to speak in Wuxia[1] and Xianxia[2] novel terminology, it would probably be something similar to auras produced by high-ranked cultivators there. Her mere presence would crush anyone who crossed her path. The long-haired, Goddess version of Zhao Youyue had been that terrifying.

Han Leng had initially been a guy without any semblance of self-confidence. He was cowardly and off-the-cuff, especially when facing Zhao Youyue. She was his natural predator. When Zhao Youyue turned into a Goddess and had looked past him to conquer the rest of the world, he was left in a far safer ground, hidden in plain sight. It was apparent that he wanted to make out the relation between Zhao Youyue and Chu Luoxun. But, he did not dare approach Zhao Youyue at all. Falling asleep to her music every night was enough for him.

Now that he saw Zhao Youyue sporting short hair once again, his courage returned. He managed to piece together parts of his spine and defy her presence. Even so, he truly wanted to please Zhao Youyue. His lack of emotional intelligence had often left him frustrated in previous attempts. The differences in status between himself and Zhao Youyue only made it worse.

In short, Han Leng’s emotions became a jumbled mess when facing Zhao Youyue. It could not be described by a single word such as, ‘like.’ After all, there was more than one side within Zhao Youyue.

Yet, every side captivated Han Leng. He tried to turn his affection towards Chu Luoxun to set himself free from Zhao Youyue. In the end, reality unrelentingly shoved the 3D version of Chu Luoxun into his face

Han Leng could not find any words to describe how he lost all hope when faced with that reality. However, in the face of all that hopelessness, it came as a slightly pleasant surprise. He had considered himself to be ‘faithless,’ yet ended up being the most single-minded person.

Zhao Youyue was his world. Even if he could only spectate this world from a distance, his life would be fulfilled.

He was probably the one and only guy who apparently liked or even loved a girl to the ends of the earth, yet refuse to pursue her vigorously, only to prevent the risk of an irrevocable regret, or something for that matter. He had to maintain a suitable distance from her. In his mind, love was not the act of possession, but the act of admiration.

Love was to write for her.

Ordinary people would never understand the mind of hipsters. The former fell in love and found happiness easily. If you like a person very much, what’s with all the roundabout detours? Get to the point. Even if they hurl your heart twenty storeys down in a refusal, it would have been way better than doing nothing, rather than you’re your distance, as if the object of your affection was a poisonous tulip.