Part 3 (2/2)
This Vanity seems to extend itself to Animals, in many of which we may observe some Traces of it.
The peac.o.c.k, if you seem to admire her, spreads forth her Golden Plumes, which she never displays to an indifferent Spectator.
The Race-Horse, while he is running for a Plate, enjoys the Beauties of his well-combed Mane, and gracefully turned Neck.
Secondly, to Flattery, add Promises, and those not timorous nor sneaking ones. If a Girl insists upon a Promise of Marriage, give it her, and bind it by many Oaths[D]; for no Indictment lies for this sort of Perjury.
The Antients vented horrid Impieties on this Occasion, and introduced _Jupiter_ shaking his Sides at the Perjuries of Lovers, and ordering the Winds to puff them away: Nay, he is said to have forsworn himself even by _Styx_ to _Juno_: and therefore, say they, he encourages Men to follow his Example.
[Note D: This is the most exceptionable Pa.s.sage in the whole Work. We have endeavoured to soften it as much as possible; but even as it now stands, we cannot help expressing Detestation of this Sentiment, which appears shocking even in a Heathen Writer.]
But though a Christian must not talk in this Manner, yet I believe it may be one of those Sins which the Church of _Rome_ holds to be venial, or rather venal.
I would here by no Means be suspected of Infidelity or Profaneness. It is necessary there should be a G.o.d; and therefore we must believe there is; nay, we must wors.h.i.+p him: For he doth not possess himself in that indolent State in which the Deities of _Epicurus_ are depictured.
If we live innocent Lives, we may depend on the Care of his Providence.
Restore faithfully whatever is deposited in your Hands: Be just in all your Contracts: Avoid all Kind of Fraud, and be not polluted with Blood. A wise Man will be a Rogue only among the Girls: For in all other Articles a Gentleman will be ashamed of breaking his Word.
And what is this more than deceiving the Deceivers? The s.e.x are for the greatest Part Impostors; let them therefore fall in the Snares which they have spread for others.
Perhaps you have never read the Justice of _Busiris_; when Egypt was burnt up Nine Years together for want of Rain, one _Thrasius_ a Foreigner came to Court, and being introduced to the King by _Clementius Cotterelius_, he acquainted his Majesty, that _Jupiter_ was to be propitiated by the Blood of a Stranger. The King Answered him, _Then thou thyself shalt be the first Victim, and with thy foreign Blood shalt give Rain to Egypt_.
To the same Purpose is the Story of _Phalaris_, who roasted the Limbs of _Perillus_ in his own Bull: Thus making Proof of the Goodness of the Work by the Torments of the unhappy Maker.
Now there was great Justice in both these Examples; for nothing can be more equitable than that the Inventers of Cruelty should perish by their own Art.
To apply this to our present Purpose: As there is no Deceit or Perjury which Women will stick at putting in use against us, let them lament the Consequence of their own Examples.
Thirdly, Tears are of great Service. The Proverb tells you, _Tears will move Adamant_. If you can bring it about therefore, let your Mistress see your Cheeks a little blubbered upon Occasion.
If Tears should refuse to come (as they sometimes will) an Onion in your Handkerchief will be of great use.
Fourthly, Kisses. What Lover of any Sense doth not mix Kisses with his tender Expressions! Perhaps she will not give them easily: No Matter, take them without her Leave.
Perhaps she will scratch, and say you are rude: Notwithstanding her Scratches, she will be pleased with your getting the better.
Do this, however, in so gentle a Manner, that you may not hurt her tender Lips; nor let her complain of being scrubbed with your Beard.
Now when you have proceeded to Kisses, if you proceed no farther, you may well be called unworthy of what you have hitherto obtained. When you was at her Lips, how near was you to your Journey's End! If therefore you stop there, you rather deserve the Name of a bashful 'Squire than of a modest Man.
The Girls may call this perhaps Violence; but it is a Violence agreeable to them: For they are often desirous of being pleased against their Will: For a Woman taken without her Consent, notwithstanding her Frowns, is often well satisfied in her Heart, and your Impudence is taken as a Favour; whilst she who, when inclined to be ravished, hath retreated untouched, however she may affect to smile, is in reality out of Humour.
Ravis.h.i.+ng is indeed out of Fas.h.i.+on in this Age; and therefore I am at a Loss for modern Examples; but antient Story abounds with them.
Miss[50] _Phoebe_ and her Sister were both ravished, and both were well pleased with the Men who ravished them.
Though the Story of _Deidamia_ was formerly in all the _Trojan_ News-Papers, yet my Reader may be pleased to see it better told.
<script>