Part 5 (1/2)

155.* THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. One morning I was awoke by some delightful singing which I heard at a height above me, and in consequence, during the first watch, which is internal, pacific, and sweet, more than the succeeding part of the day, I was in a capacity of being kept for some time in the spirit as it were out of the body, and of attending carefully to the affection which was sung. The singing of heaven is an affection of the mind, sent forth through the mouth as a tune: for the tone of the voice in speaking, separate from the discourse of the speaking, and grounded in the affection of love, is what gives life to the speech. In that state I perceived that it was the affection of the delights of conjugial love, which was made musical by wives in heaven: that this was the case, I observed from the sound of the song, in which those delights were varied in a wonderful manner. After this I arose, and looked into the spiritual world; and lo! in the east, beneath the sun, there appeared as it were a GOLDEN SHOWER. It was the morning dew descending in great abundance, which, catching the sun's rays, exhibited to my eyes the appearance of a golden shower. In consequence of this I became fully awake, and went forth in the spirit, and asked an angel who then happened to meet me, whether he saw a golden shower descending from the sun? He replied, that he saw one whenever he was meditating on conjugial love; and at the same time turning his eyes towards the sun, he added, ”That shower falls over a hall, in which are three husbands with their wives, who dwell in the midst of an eastern paradise. Such a shower is seen falling from the sun over that hall, because with those husbands and wives there resides wisdom respecting conjugial love and its delights; with the husbands respecting conjugial love, and with the wives respecting its delights. But I perceive that you are engaged in meditating on the delights of conjugial love: I will therefore conduct you there, and introduce you to them.” He led me through paradisiacal scenery to houses built of olive wood, having two cedar columns before the gate, and introduced me to the husbands, and asked their permission for me to converse with them in the presence of the wives. They consented, and called their wives. These looked into my eyes most shrewdly; upon which I asked them, ”Why do you do so?” They said, ”We can thereby discover exquisitely what is your inclination and consequent affection, and your thought grounded in affection, respecting the love of the s.e.x; and we see that you are meditating intensely, but still chastely, concerning it.” And they added, ”What do you wish us to tell you on the subject?” I replied, ”Tell me, I pray, something respecting the delights of conjugial love.” The husbands a.s.sented, saying, ”If you are so disposed, give them some information in regard to those delights: their ears are chaste.” They asked me, ”Who taught you to question us respecting the delights of that love? Why did you not question our husbands?” I replied, ”This angel, who accompanies me, informed me, that wives are the recipients and sensories of those delights, because they are born loves; and all delights are of love.” To this they replied with a smile, ”Be prudent, and declare nothing of this sort except ambiguously; because it is a wisdom deeply seated in the hearts of our s.e.x, and is not discovered to any husband, unless he be principled in love truly conjugial. There are several reasons for this, which we keep entirely to ourselves.” Then the husbands said, ”Our wives know all the states of our minds, none of which are hid from them: they see, perceive, and are sensible of whatever proceeds from our will. We, on the other hand, know nothing of what pa.s.ses with our wives. This faculty is given to wives, because they are most tender loves, and as it were burning zeals for the preservation of friends.h.i.+p and conjugial confidence, and thereby of all the happiness of life, which they carefully attend to, both in regard to their husbands and themselves, by virtue of a wisdom implanted in their love, which is so full of prudence, that they are unwilling to say, and consequently cannot say, that they love, but that they are loved.” I asked the wives, ”Why are you unwilling, and consequently cannot say so?” They replied, ”If the least hint of the kind were to escape from the mouth of a wife, the husband would be seized with coolness, which would entirely separate him from all communication with his wife, so that he could not even bear to look upon her; but this is the case only with those husbands who do not hold marriages to be holy, and therefore do not love their wives from spiritual love: it is otherwise with those who do. In the minds of the latter this love is spiritual, and by derivation thence in the body is natural. We in this hall are principled in the latter love by derivation from the former; therefore we trust our husbands with our secrets respecting our delights of conjugial love.” Then I courteously asked them to disclose to me some of those secrets: they then looked towards a window on the southern quarter, and lo! there appeared a white dove, whose wings shone as if they were of silver, and its head was crested with a crown as of gold: it stood upon a bough, from which there went forth an olive; and while it was in the attempt to spread out its wings, the wives said, ”We will communicate something: the appearing of that dove is a token that we may. Every man (_vir_)” they continued, ”has five senses, seeing, hearing, smelling, taste, and touch; but we have likewise a sixth, which is the sense of all the delights of the conjugial love of the husband; and this sense we have in the palms of our hands, while we touch the b.r.e.a.s.t.s, arms, hands, or cheeks, of our husbands, especially their b.r.e.a.s.t.s; and also while we are touched by them. All the gladness and pleasantness of the thoughts of their minds (_mentium_), all the joys and delights of their minds (_animarum_) and all the festive and cheerful principles of their bosoms, pa.s.s from them to us, and become perceptible, sensible, and tangible: we discern them as exquisitely and distinctly as the ear does the tune of a song, and the tongue the taste of dainties; in a word, the spiritual delights of our husbands put on with us a kind of natural embodiment; therefore they call us the sensory organs of chaste conjugial love, and thence its delights. But this sixth sense of ours exists, subsists, persists, and is exalted in the degree in which our husbands love us from wisdom and judgement, and in which we in our turn love them from the same principles in them. This sense in our s.e.x is called in the heavens the sport of wisdom with its love, and of love with its wisdom.” From this information I became desirous of asking further questions concerning the variety of their delights. They said, ”It is infinite; but we are unwilling and therefore unable to say more; for the dove at our window, with the olive branch under his feet, is flown away.” I waited for its return, but in vain. In the meantime I asked the husbands, ”Have you a like sense of conjugial love?” They replied, ”We have a like sense in general, but not in particular. We enjoy a general blessedness, delight, and pleasantness, arising from the particulars of our wives; and this general principle, which we derive from them, is serenely peaceful.” As they said this, lo! through the window there appeared a swan standing on a branch of a fig-tree, which spread out his wings and flew away. On seeing this, the husbands said, ”This is a sign for us to be silent respecting conjugial love: come again some other time, and perhaps you may hear more.” They then withdrew, and we took our leave.

ON THE CONJUNCTION OF SOULS AND MINDS BY MARRIAGE, WHICH IS MEANT BY THE LORD'S WORDS,--THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO, BUT ONE FLESH.

156.* That at creation there was implanted in the man and the woman an inclination and also a faculty of conjunction as into a one, and that this inclination and this faculty are still in man and woman, is evident from the book of creation, and at the same time from the Lord's words.

In the book of creation, called GENESIS, it is written, ”_Jehovah G.o.d builded the rib, which he had taken from the man, into a woman, and brought her to the man. And the man said, This now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man; for this cause shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh_,” chap. ii.

22-24. The Lord also says in Matthew, ”_Have ye not read, that he that made them from the beginning, made them a male and a female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH? WHEREFORE THEY ARE NO LONGER TWO, BUT ONE FLESH_,” chap. xix. 4-6. From this it is evident, that the woman was created out of the man (_vir_), and that each has an inclination and faculty to reunite themselves into a one. That such reunion means into one man (_h.o.m.o_), is also evident from the book of creation, where both together are called man (_h.o.m.o_); for it is written, ”_In the day that G.o.d created man (h.o.m.o), he created them a male and a female, and called their name Man (h.o.m.o)_,” chap. v. 2. It is there written, he called their name Adam; but Adam and man are one expression in the Hebrew tongue: moreover, both together are called man in the same book, chap. i. 27; chap. iii. 22-24. One flesh also signifies one man; as is evident from the pa.s.sages in the Word where mention is made of all flesh, which signifies every man, as Gen. chap.

vi. 12, 13, 17, 19; Isaiah xl. 5, 6; chap. xlix. 26; chap. lxvi. 16, 23, 24; Jer. xxv. 31; chap, x.x.xii. 27; chap. xlv. 5; Ezek. xx. 48; chap.

xxi. 4, 5; and other pa.s.sages. But what is meant by the man's rib, which was builded into a woman; what by the flesh, which was closed up in the place thereof, and thus what by bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; and what by a father and a mother, whom a man (_vir_) shall leave after marriage; and what by cleaving to a wife, has been shewn in the ARCANA COELESTIA; in which work the two books, Genesis and Exodus, are explained as to the spiritual sense. It is there proved that a rib does not mean a rib,--nor flesh, flesh,--nor a bone, a bone,--nor cleaving to, cleaving to; but that they signify spiritual things, which correspond thereto, and consequently are signified thereby. That spiritual things are understood, which from two make one man (_h.o.m.o_), is evident from this consideration, that conjugial love conjoins them, and this love is spiritual. That the love of the man's wisdom is transferred into the wife, has been occasionally observed above, and will be more fully proved in the following sections: at this time it is not allowable to digress from the subject proposed, which is concerning the conjunction of two married partners into one flesh by a union of souls and minds. This union we will elucidate by treating of it in the following order. I. _From creation there is implanted in each s.e.x a faculty and inclination, whereby they are able and willing to be conjoined together as it were into a one._ II. _Conjugial love conjoins two souls, and thence two minds into a one._ III. _The will of the wife conjoins itself with the understanding of the man, and thence the understanding of the man conjoins itself with the will of the wife._ IV.

_The inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife; but is inconstant and alternate with the man._ V.

_Conjunction is inspired into the man from the wife according to her love, and is received by the man according to his wisdom._ VI. _This conjunction is effected successively from the first days of marriage; and with those who are principled in love truly conjugial, is effected more and more thoroughly to eternity._ VII. _The conjunction of the wife with the rational wisdom of the husband is effected from within, but with this moral wisdom from without._ VIII. _For the sake of this conjunction as an end, the wife has a perception of the affections of the husband, and also the utmost prudence in moderating them._ IX.

_Wives conceal this perception with themselves, and hide it from their husbands, for reasons of necessity, in order that conjugial love, friends.h.i.+p, and confidence, and thereby the blessedness of dwelling together, and the happiness of life may he secured._ X. _This perception is the wisdom of the wife, and is not communicable to the man; neither is the rational wisdom of the man communicable to the wife._ XI. _The wife, from a principle of love, is continually thinking about the man's inclination to her, with the purpose of joining him to herself: it is otherwise with the man._ XII. _The wife conjoins herself to the man, by applications to the desires of his will._ XIII. _The wife is conjoined to her husband by the sphere of her life flowing from the love of him._ XIV. _The wife is conjoined to the husband by the appropriation of the powers of his virtue; which however is effected according to their mutual spiritual love._ XV. _Thus the wife receives in herself the image of her husband, and thence perceives, sees, and is sensible of, his affections._ XVI. _There are duties proper to the husband, and others proper to the wife; and the wife cannot enter into the duties proper to the husband, nor the husband into the duties proper to the wife, so as to perform them aright._ XVII. _These duties, also, according to mutual aid, conjoin the two into a one, and at the same time const.i.tute one house._ XVIII. _Married partners, according to these conjunctions, become one man (h.o.m.o) more and more._ XIX. _Those who are principled in love truly conjugial, are sensible of their being a united man, and as it were one flesh._ XX. _Love truly conjugial, considered in itself, is a union of souls, a conjunction of minds, and an endeavor towards conjunction in the bosoms and thence in the body._ XXI. _The states of this love are innocence, peace, tranquillity, inmost friends.h.i.+p, full confidence, and a mutual desire of mind and heart to do very good to each other; and the states derived from these are blessedness, satisfaction, delight, and pleasure; and from the eternal enjoyment of these is derived heavenly felicity._ XXII. _These things can only exist in the marriage of one man with one wife._ We proceed now to the explanation of these articles.

157. I. FROM CREATION THERE IS IMPLANTED IN EACH s.e.x A FACULTY AND INCLINATION, WHEREBY THEY ARE ABLE AND WILLING TO BE JOINED TOGETHER, AS IT WERE INTO A ONE. That the woman was taken out of the man, was shewn just above from the book of creation; hence it follows, that there is in each s.e.x a faculty and inclination to join themselves together into a one; for that which is taken out of anything, derives and retains its const.i.tuent principle, from the principle proper to the thing whence it was taken; and as this derived principle is of a similar nature with that from which it was derived, it seeks after a reunion; and when it is reunited, it is as in itself when it is in that from whence it came, and _vice versa_. That there is a faculty of conjunction of the one s.e.x with the other, or that they are capable of being united, is universally allowed; and also that there is an inclination to join themselves the one with the other; for experience supplies sufficient confirmation in both cases.

158. II. CONJUGIAL LOVE CONJOINS TWO SOULS, AND THENCE TWO MINDS, INTO A ONE. Every man consists of a soul, a mind, and a body. The soul is his inmost, the mind his middle, and the body his ultimate const.i.tuent. As the soul is a man's inmost principle, it is, from its origin, celestial; as the mind is his middle principle, it is, from its origin, spiritual; and as the body is his ultimate principle, it is, from its origin, natural. Those things, which, from their origin, are celestial and spiritual, are not in s.p.a.ce, but in the appearance of s.p.a.ce. This also is well known in the word; therefore it is said, that neither extension nor place can be predicated of spiritual things. Since therefore s.p.a.ces are appearances, distances also and presences are appearances. That the appearances of distances and presences in the spiritual world are according to proximities, relations.h.i.+ps, and affinities of love, has been frequently pointed out and confirmed in small treatises respecting that world. These observations are made, in order that it may be known that the souls and minds of men are not in s.p.a.ce like their bodies; because the former, as was said above, from their origin, are celestial and spiritual; and as they are not in s.p.a.ce, they may be joined together as into a one, although their bodies at the same time are not so joined.

This is the case especially with married partners, who love each other intimately: but as the woman is from the man, and this conjunction is a species of reunion, it may be seen from reason, that it is not a conjunction into a one, but an adjunction, close and near according to the love, and approaching to contact with those who are principled in love truly conjugial. This adjunction may be called spiritual dwelling together; which takes place with married partners who love each other tenderly, however distant their bodies may be from each other. Many experimental proofs exist, even in the natural world, in confirmation of these observations. Hence it is evident, that conjugial love conjoins two souls and minds into a one.

159. III. THE WILL OF THE WIFE CONJOINS ITSELF WITH THE UNDERSTANDING OF THE MAN, AND THENCE THE UNDERSTANDING OF THE MAN WITH THE WILL OF THE WIFE. The reason of this is, because the male is born to become understanding, and the female to become will, loving the understanding of the male; from which consideration it follows, that conjugial conjunction is that of the will of the wife with the understanding of the man, and the reciprocal conjunction of the understanding of the man with the will of the wife. Every one sees that the conjunction of the understanding and the will is of the most intimate kind; and that it is such, that the one faculty can enter into the other, and be delighted from and in the conjunction.

160. IV. THE INCLINATION TO UNITE THE MAN TO HERSELF IS CONSTANT AND PERPETUAL WITH THE WIFE, BUT INCONSTANT AND ALTERNATE WITH THE MAN. The reason of this is, because love cannot do otherwise than love and unite itself, in order that it may be loved in return, this being its very essence and life; and women are born loves; whereas men, with whom they unite themselves in order that they may be loved in return, are receptions. Moreover love is continually efficient; being like heat, flame, and fire, which perish if their efficiency is checked. Hence the inclination to unite the man to herself is constant and perpetual with the wife: but a similar inclination does not operate with the man towards the wife, because the man is not love, but only a recipient of love; and as a state of reception is absent or present according to intruding cares, and to the varying presence or absence of heat in the mind, as derived from various causes, and also according to the increase and decrease of the bodily powers, which do not return regularly and at stated periods, it follows, that the inclination to conjunction is inconstant and alternate with men.

161. V. CONJUNCTION IS INSPIRED INTO THE MAN FROM THE WIFE ACCORDING TO HER LOVE, AND IS RECEIVED BY THE MAN ACCORDING TO HIS WISDOM. That love and consequent conjunction is inspired into the man by the wife, is at this day concealed from the men; yea, it is universally denied by them; because wives insinuate that the men alone love, and that they themselves receive; or that the men are loves, and themselves obediences: they rejoice also in heart when the men believe it to be so.

There are several reasons why they endeavour to persuade the men of this, which are all grounded in their prudence and circ.u.mspection; respecting which, something shall be said in a future part of this work, particularly in the chapter ON THE CAUSES OF COLDNESS, SEPARATIONS, AND DIVORCES BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS. The reason why men receive from their wives the inspiration or insinuation of love, is, because nothing of conjugial love, or even of the love of the s.e.x, is with the men, but only with wives and females. That this is the case, has been clearly shewn me in the spiritual world. I was once engaged in conversation there on this subject; and the men, in consequence of a persuasion infused from their wives, insisted that they loved and not the wives; but that the wives received love from them. In order to settle the dispute respecting this arcanum, all the females, married and unmarried, were withdrawn from the men, and at the same time the sphere of the love of the s.e.x was removed with them. On the removal of this sphere, the men were reduced to a very unusual state, such as they had never before perceived, at which they greatly complained. Then, while they were in this state, the females were brought to them, and the wives to the husbands; and both the wives and the other females addressed them in the tenderest and most engaging manner; but they were cold to their tenderness, and turned away, and said one to another, ”What is all this?

what is a female?” And when some of the women said that they were their wives, they replied, ”What is a wife? we do not know you.” But when the wives began to be grieved at this absolutely cold indifference of the men, and some of them to shed tears, the sphere of the love of the female s.e.x, and the conjugial sphere, which had for a time been withdrawn from the men, was restored; and then the men instantly returned into their former state, the lovers of marriage into their state, and the lovers of the s.e.x into theirs. Thus the men were convinced, that nothing of conjugial love, or even of the love of the s.e.x, resides with them, but only with the wives and females.

Nevertheless, the wives afterwards from their prudence induced the men to believe, that love resides with the men, and that some small spark of it may pa.s.s from them into the wives. This experimental evidence is here adduced, in order that it may be known, that wives are loves and men recipients. That men are recipients according to their wisdom, especially according to this wisdom grounded in religion, that the wife only is to be loved, is evident from this consideration, that so long as the wife only is loved, the love is concentrated; and because it is also enn.o.bled, it remains in its strength, and is fixed and permanent; and that in any other case it would be as when wheat from the granary is cast to the dogs, whereby there is scarcity at home.

162. VI. THIS CONJUNCTION IS EFFECTED SUCCESSIVELY FROM THE FIRST DAYS OF MARRIAGE; AND WITH THOSE WHO ARE PRINCIPLED IN LOVE TRULY CONJUGIAL, IT IS EFFECTED MORE AND MORE THOROUGHLY TO ETERNITY. The first heat of marriage does not conjoin; for it partakes of the love of the s.e.x, which is the love of the body and thence of the spirit; and what is in the spirit, as derived from the body, does not long continue; but the love which is in the body, and is derived from the spirit, does continue. The love of the spirit, and of the body from the spirit, is insinuated into the souls and minds of married partners, together with friends.h.i.+p and confidence. When these two (friends.h.i.+p and confidence) conjoin themselves with the first love of marriage, there is effected conjugial love, which opens the bosoms, and inspires the sweets of that love; and this more and more thoroughly, in proportion as those two principles adjoin themselves to the primitive love, and that love enters into them, and _vice versa_.

163. VII. THE CONJUNCTION OF THE WIFE WITH THE RATIONAL WISDOM OF THE HUSBAND IS EFFECTED FROM WITHIN, BUT WITH HIS MORAL WISDOM FROM WITHOUT.

That wisdom with men is two-fold, rational and moral, and that their rational wisdom is of the understanding alone, and their moral wisdom is of the understanding and the life together, may be concluded and seen from mere intuition and examination. But in order that it may be known what we mean by the rational wisdom of men, and what by their moral wisdom, we will enumerate some of the specific distinctions. The principles const.i.tuent of their rational wisdom are called by various names; in general they are called knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom; but in particular they are called rationality, judgement, capacity, erudition, and sagacity; but as every one has knowledge peculiar to his office, therefore they are multifarious; for the clergy, magistrates, public officers, judges, physicians and chemists, soldiers and sailors, artificers and laborers, husbandmen, &c., have each their peculiar knowledge. To rational wisdom also appertain all the knowledge into which young men are initiated in the schools, and by which they are afterwards initiated into intelligence, which also are called by various names, as philosophy, physics, geometry, mechanics, chemistry, astronomy, jurisprudence, politics, ethics, history, and several others, by which, as by doors, an entrance is made into things rational, which are the ground of rational wisdom.

164. But the const.i.tuents of moral wisdom with men are all the moral virtues, which have respect to life, and enter into it, and also all the spiritual virtues, which flow from love to G.o.d and love towards our neighbour, and centre in those loves. The virtues which appertain to the moral wisdom of men are also of various kinds, and are called temperance, sobriety, probity, benevolence, friends.h.i.+p, modesty, sincerity, courtesy, civility, also carefulness, industry, quickness of wit, alacrity, munificence, liberality, generosity, activity, intrepidity, prudence and many others. Spiritual virtues with men are the love of religion, charity, truth, conscience, innocence, and many more. The latter virtues and also the former, may in general be referred to love and zeal for religion, for the public good, for a man's country, for his fellow-citizens, for his parents, for his married partner, and for his children. In all these, justice and judgement have dominion; justice having relation to moral, and judgement to rational wisdom.

165. The reason why the conjunction of the wife with the man's rational wisdom is from within, is, because this wisdom belongs to the man's understanding, and ascends into the light in which women are not and this is the reason why women do not speak from that wisdom; but, when the conversation of the men turns on subjects proper thereto, they remain silent and listen. That nevertheless such subjects have place with the wives from within, is evident from their listening thereto, and from their inwardly recollecting what had been said, and favoring those things which they had heard from their husbands. But the reason why the conjunction of the wife with the moral wisdom of the man is from without, is, because the virtues of that wisdom for the most part are akin to similar virtues with the women, and partake of the man's intellectual will, with which the will of the wife unites and const.i.tutes a marriage; and since the wife knows those virtues appertaining to the man more than the man himself does, it is said that the conjunction of the wife with those virtues is from without.

166. VIII. FOR THE SAKE OF THIS CONJUNCTION AS AN END, THE WIFE HAS A PERCEPTION OF THE AFFECTIONS OF THE HUSBAND, AND ALSO THE UTMOST PRUDENCE IN MODERATING THEM. That wives know the affections of their husbands, and prudently moderate them, is among the arcana of conjugial love which lie concealed with wives. They know those affections by three senses, the sight, the hearing, and the touch, and moderate them while their husbands are not at all aware of it. Now as the reasons of this are among the arcana of wives, it does not become me to disclose them circ.u.mstantially; but as it is becoming for the wives themselves to do so, therefore four MEMORABLE RELATIONS are added to this chapter, in which those reasons are disclosed by the wives: two of the RELATIONS are taken from the three wives that dwelt in the hall, over which was seen falling as it were a golden shower; and two from the seven wives that were sitting in the garden of roses. A perusal of these RELATIONS will unfold this arcanum.

167. IX. WIVES CONCEAL THIS PERCEPTION WITH THEMSELVES AND HIDE IT FROM THEIR HUSBANDS, FOR REASONS OF NECESSITY, IN ORDER THAT CONJUGIAL LOVE, FRIENDs.h.i.+P, AND CONFIDENCE, AND THEREBY THE BLESSEDNESS OF DWELLING TOGETHER AND THE HAPPINESS OF LIFE MAY BE SECURED. The concealing and hiding of the perception of the affections of the husband by the wives, are said to be of necessity; because if they should reveal them, they would cause a complete alienation of their husbands, both in mind and body. The reason of this is, because there resides deep in the minds of many men a conjugial coldness, originating in several causes, which will be enumerated in the chapter ON THE CAUSES OF COLDNESSES, SEPARATION, AND DIVORCES BETWEEN MARRIED PARTNERS. This Coldness, in case the wives should discover the affections and inclinations of their husbands, would burst forth from its hiding places, and communicate its cold, first to the interiors of the mind, afterwards to the breast, and thence to the ultimates of love which are appropriated to generation; and these being affected with cold, conjugial love would be banished to such a degree, that there would not remain any hope of friends.h.i.+p, of confidence, of the blessedness of dwelling together, and thence of the happiness of life; when nevertheless wives are continually feeding on this hope. To make this open declaration, that they know their husbands' affections and inclinations of love, carries with it a declaration and publication of their own love: and it is well known, that so far as wives make such a declaration, so far the men grow cold and desire a separation. From these considerations the truth of this proposition is manifest, that the reasons why wives conceal their perception with themselves, and hide it from their husbands, are reasons of necessity.