Part 23 (1/2)
”I believe so. Yes, I am.”
”But why should this soul, if soul it be, haunt you?”
”I can't tell. Perhaps, Val, you and I ought not to have played at spiritualism as we should play at a game. Perhaps--”
Julian paused. He was looking anxious, even worried.
”Suppose we have not stopped in time,” he said.
Valentine raised his eyebrows.
”I don't understand.”
Julian was standing exactly opposite to him, leaning against the mantelpiece and looking down at him.
”We ought never to have sat again after our conversation with the doctor,” Julian said. ”I feel that to-day, so strongly. I feel that perhaps we have taken just the one step too far,--the one step in the dark that may be fatal.”
”Fatal! My dear Julian, you are unstrung by the events of the night.”
But the calm of Valentine's voice did not seem to sway Julian. He continued:
”Valentine, now that I am with you, I am attacked by a strange idea.”
”What is it?”
”That last night may have its consequences; yes, even though we strive to forget it, and to forget our sittings. If it should be so! If anything--”
He was curiously upset, and did not seem able to-day to take the influence of Valentine's mood. Indeed, this new anxiety of his was only born in Valentine's presence, was communicated apparently by him.
”Everything one does has its following consequence,” Julian said.
”It is the fas.h.i.+on to say so. I do not believe it. I believe, on the contrary, that we often do things with a special view to the doctrine of consequence, and that our intentions are frustrated by the falseness of the doctrine. Suppose I kiss a woman. I may do so with intention to make her love me, or, on the other hand, to make her hate me. The chances are that she does neither the one nor the other. She simply forgets all about such a trifle, and we go on shaking hands politely for the rest of our natural lives. Julian, the memories of most people are like winter days--very short.”
”Perhaps. But there is some hidden thing in life whose memory is everlasting. All the philosophers say so, especially those who are inclined to deny the Deity. They put their faith in the chain of cause and effect. What we have done,--you and I, Valentine,--must have an effect of some sort.”
”It will have a very bad effect upon you, I can see,” said Valentine, smiling, ”unless you pull yourself together. Come, this is nonsense.
We have sat once too often, and the consequence followed, and is over: I went into a trance. I have fortunately come out of it, so the penalty which you so firmly believe in has been paid. The score is cleared, Julian.”
”I suppose so.”
”I have no doubt of it. Let us forget the whole matter, since to remember it seems likely to affect those devils that make the h.e.l.l of the physical man--the nerves. Let us forget it. Where are you dining to-night?”
”Nowhere in particular. I have not thought about it,” Julian said, rather listlessly.
”Dine with me then.”
”Yes, Valentine.”
Julian hesitated, then added: