Part 32 (1/2)
”I do not turn fro very carefully ”I will ever be grateful to ood to me; I will ever be his friend in all that I aain, there is a difference to be s said and done that would be better to be forgotten But I will ever be your friend in all that I am able, and if that is not all thatif it is not so ! But I would not have you think of me too hard It was true what you said toyou will remember I was just a child I would not like to lose your friendshi+p, at all events”
She began this very pale; but before she was done, the blood was in her face like scarlet, so that not her words only, but her face and the treentle I saw, for the first ti I had done to place the child in that position, where she had been entrapped into a moment's weakness, and now stood before me like a person shamed
”Miss Druain, ”I wish you could see into my heart,” I cried ”You would read there that my respect is undiminished If that were possible, I should say it was increased This is but the result of the mistake we made; and had to come; and the less said of it now the better Of all of our life here, I promise you it shall never pass my lips; I would like to promise you too that I would never think of it, but it's a memory that will be always dear to me And as for a friend, you have one here that would die for you”
”I a you,” said she
We stood awhile silent, and et the upper hand; for here were all my dreaain in the world as at the beginning
”Well,” said I, ”we shall be friends always, that's a certain thing But this is a kind of farewell, too: it's a kind of a farewell after all; I shall always ken Miss Drummond, but this is a farewell to my Catriona”
I looked at her; I could hardly say I saw her, but she seehten in my eyes; and with that I suppose I ain and made a step at her with my hands reached forth
She shrank back like a person struck, her face fla no faster up into her cheeks, than what it flowed back upon ht of it, with penitence and concern I found no words to excuse myself, but bowed before her very deep, and went my ways out of the house with death in my bosom
I think it was about five days that folloithout any change I saw her scarce ever but at meals, and then of course in the company of James More If ere alone even for a moment, I made it my devoir to behave thealways inin a blush, and in my heart more pity for her than I could depict in words I was sorry enough for th and ht in a few seconds; but, indeed, I was near as sorry for the girl, and sorry enough to be scarce angry with her save by fits and starts Her plea was good; she had been placed in an unfair position; if she had deceived herself and me, it was no more than was to have been looked for
And for another thing she was now veryparent; but he was very easy led away by his affairs and pleasures, neglected her without cohts in taverns when he had the money, which was more often than I could at all account for; and even in the course of these few days, failed once to come to a meal, which Catriona and I were at last coI supposed she would prefer to be alone; to which she agreed and (strange as it ht irl, and a reminder of a moment's weakness that she now abhorred to think of So she must sit alone in that room where she and I had been so ht had shone upon our many difficult and tender moments There she must sit alone, and think of herself as of a maid who had most unmaidenly proffered her affections and had the same rejected And in thery) lessons upon huether I suppose there were never two poor fools reater misconception
As for Ja in nature but his pocket, and his belly, and his own prating talk Before twelve hours were gone he had raised a small loan of me; before thirty, he had asked for a second and been refused Money and refusal he took with the saood nature Indeed, he had an outside air of hter; and the light in which he was constantly presented in his talk, and the ether pretty harmoniously So that a man that had no business with him, and either very little penetration or a furious deal of prejudice, ht almost have been taken in To me, after my first two interviews, he was as plain as print; I saw him to be perfectly selfish, with a perfect innocency in the sa talk (of arentleth ofof a parrot
The odd thing was that I fancy he believed some part of it hih that he scarce knehen he was lying; and for one thing, his enuine There were ti creature possible, holding Catriona's hand like a big baby, and begging of me not to leave if I had any love to hihter He would press and indeed beseech us to entertain hi very difficult in the state of our relations; and again break forth in pitiable regrets for his own land and friends, or into Gaelic singing
”This is one of the melancholy airs of e to see a soldier weep, and indeed it is to make a near friend of you,” says he ”But the notes of this singing are in my blood, and the words come out of my heart And when Ithere, and the brave strea down, I would scarce think shaain, and translate toand e ”It says here,” he would say, ”that the sun is gone down, and the battle is at an end, and the brave chiefs are defeated And it tells here how the stars see the dead on the red mountain; and they will never more shout the call of battle or wash their feet in the streae, you would weep also because the words of it are beyond all expression, and it is ht there was a good deal of mockery in the business, one way and another; and yet, there was so too, for which I hated him, I think, the worst of all And it used to cut me to the quick to see Catriona soherself to see him weep, when I was sure one half of his distress flowed fro in some tavern There were times when I was teood; but this would have been to see the last of Catriona as well, for which I was scarcely so prepared; and besides, it went against ood money on one as so little of a husband
CHAPTER XXVII-A TWOSOME
I believe it was about the fifth day, and I know at least that Jaloom, when I received three letters The first was fro to visit me in Leyden; the other tere out of Scotland and prompted by the same affair, which was the death of hts Rankeillor's was, of course, wholly in the business view; Miss Grant's was like herself, a littlewritten (though hoas I to write with such intelligence?) and of rallying talk about Catriona, which it cut me to the quick to read in her very presence
For it was of course in my own rooms that I found them, when I came to dinner, so that I was surprised out ofit This made a welcome diversion for all three of us, nor could any have foreseen the ill consequences that ensued It was accident that brought the three letters the saave them into my hand in the same room with James More; and of all the events that flowed froht have prevented if I had held ricola came into Scotland or Abraham set out upon his travels
The first that I opened was naturally Alan's; and what n to visit me? but I observed James to sit up with an air of immediate attention
”Is that not Alan Breck that was suspected of the Appin accident?” he inquired
I told him, ”Ay,” it was the sa of our acquaintance, of Alan's manner of life in France, of which I knew very little, and further of his visit as now proposed
”All we forfeited folk hang a little together,” he explained, ”and besides I know the gentle, and indeed he has no true right to use the name of Stewart, he was very much admired in the day of Drummossie He did there like a soldier; if some that need not be named had done as well, the upshot need not have been so melancholy to remember There were two that did their best that day, and it makes a bond between the pair of us,” says he
I could scarce refrain froue at him, and could almost have wished that Alan had been there to have inquired a little further into that h, they tell ular
Meanwhile, I had opened Miss Grant's, and could not withhold an excla, the first time since her father was arrived, to address her by a handle, ”I adom fairly, I am the laird of Shaws indeed-ether leaping from her seat The next moment it must have come over both of us at once what little cause of joy was left to either, and we stood opposite, staring on each other sadly
But Jahter,” says he, ”is this how my cousin learned you to behave? Mr David has lost a new friend, and we should first condole with hi to hireat faces His death is as blithe news as ever I got”