Part 14 (1/2)

”I would marry the rudest savage in all Virginia before I would ever let you touch me as a husband,” I said, pouring all the disdain I could summon into my words. ”Now get out.”

”You'll regret your pride, vain wench,” he said with a sneer. He turned to leave and on his way out kicked over the governor's chair. It crashed onto the hearth and became singed by the fire before I could manage to set it upright.

All my limbs were trembling, and I fell in a heap on the floor, resting my whirling head on the seat of the chair I had rescued from the fire.

That night Eleanor noticed the bruises on my wrist, so I told her about Roger Bailey's indecent demands. She struck her cooking ladle against the tabletop so hard Virginia began to cry in her cradle.

”d.a.m.n him! You are not the first to be undone by that man.”

”I did not lie with him, you understand. How can you even think I would?” I said. ”Who else has he tried to violate?”

”I have had it in confidence from Alice that Jane Pierce is with child by him, but she will not say he raped her because she wants to marry him.”

”Jane? How could she want to marry Bailey?”

”We are not as wellborn as you, Cate,” said Eleanor testily. ”Jane hires herself out as a servant to earn her living. Bailey took more from her than her cooking. And now, to keep from being disgraced, she must must marry him.” marry him.”

”Yet he dares to come to me and say I should marry him,” I said, more indignant than ever. ”At least I told him what a vile worm he is.”

”That was hardly wise,” she said with a rueful shake of her head. ”You saw what he did to Georgie and that unfortunate soldier.”

”Roger Bailey is not my governor,” I said. ”He is a tyrant, and I pray he will come to a bad end.”

”So you have no man to govern you,” she said with a wry smile. ”I should envy you, Cate.”

I thought about Sir Walter and how I had imagined marrying him. Would I have been happy to let him govern me? Did all wives consent to be ruled by their husbands? If so, marriage was no different than serving a king or queen. As a wife I might never have the freedom of my own will.

”I am fortunate to be no one's servant,” I said. ”I have no mistress or master, and I will have no husband either, if Roger Bailey is the best Virginia can offer.”

”Don't worry. No man here will have you for a wife because you are so willful,” said Eleanor, teasing me.

”I have have gotten my will. I wanted to come to Virginia,” I mused. ”It is certainly not paradise, but if life were like heaven, dying would be a disappointment.” gotten my will. I wanted to come to Virginia,” I mused. ”It is certainly not paradise, but if life were like heaven, dying would be a disappointment.”

At this, Eleanor laughed and I did too. We laughed as we had not for months, so consumed with cares had we been. I started to feel light, like the flakes of snow that fell through the air. I might be hungry and thin, but I was still alive. I was not free from care, but my will was free. My place in this new, harsh world was mine to fas.h.i.+on. My dreams, which had lately grown dim, now filled my mind again, like unrecognized shadows that, with the dawn, show their bright, true shapes.

But then I thought of poor Jane Pierce, my companion aboard the Lion. Lion. Now pregnant by Roger Bailey, what contentment could she dream of? Now pregnant by Roger Bailey, what contentment could she dream of?

Eleanor unlocked her father's trunk. I laid aside the jumbled maps and sea charts, sketches, journals, and old invoices until I saw a sheaf of papers t.i.tled Thomas Harriot's Vocabulary of the Algonkian Language Thomas Harriot's Vocabulary of the Algonkian Language.

”This is what I was looking for,” I announced. ”I will learn to speak Manteo's language.”

Eleanor merely raised her eyebrows, then turned to watch Virginia, who was learning to creep across the floor.

Harriot's pages were full of strange markings, and I soon realized he had created a new alphabet for the Indian sounds. Using the key and other notations, I was able to make sense of it. Then I practiced speaking out loud.

Ananias complained about the ”savage sounds” I was making. ”It's not proper for a woman to be a scholar,” he said. ”Put that away.”

”You do not rule me,” I said lightly. Eleanor laughed, for that phrase had become our joke, and Ananias had the goodwill to smile too.

”Perhaps you should also learn Algonkian,” I said. ”Someone besides Manteo should be able to speak to the Indians. He cannot always be at hand to translate.”

Ananias's good humor dissipated and he stamped out of the house. Eleanor gave me a look of distress.

”He can barely sign his own name,” she said. ”Most of the a.s.sistants can read and write a little, but they couldn't begin to study those papers.”

”Well, they can learn the language from Manteo. I dare not. If I so much as nod to Thomas Graham, people think he is my paramour. Can you imagine how the gossips' tongues would wag if I were to seek out Manteo for conversation?”

”What I can't imagine is that you, Cate Archer, would let the suspicions of others guide your behavior,” she replied.

I thought for a moment. ”You are right, Eleanor. Why should I let others hinder me with their disapproval? It will not keep me from befriending the Croatoan women, which is my purpose in learning their language.” I had not stopped thinking about their plight, which my fellow colonists preferred to ignore. ”Mika reminds me of someone I used to know. And Takiwa's son-perhaps he still needs medicine. I can speak some Algonkian now. I want to go to them.” Restless, I paced back and forth in the narrow room. ”Does anyone know where they are living?”

”Ananias thinks they are still at Dasemunkepeuc,” she said reluctantly. ”But how will you get there? You're not thinking of going alone?”

I had a sudden thought. ”Thomas Graham! He pledged to help me before.” I grabbed a wool cloak Eleanor and I shared.

”Wait! You propose to go off in the company of a soldier for the purpose of relieving a band of Indians? Have you no care at all for your reputation?” She threw up her hands.

”This is Virginia, not England. A different decorum applies here,” I argued.

”Not in the matter of a woman's virtue,” she said firmly. ”Soldiers are known to be rogues.”

My face was hot, my mouth dry. ”As I have no plans to win a husband here, my virtue is no one's concern but my own. And Thomas Graham is no rogue, but a better man than any of those false-made gentlemen who usurped your father's authority.”

Eleanor drew back as if I'd slapped her. ”You dare to accuse my husband? And you speak ill of my father, too.” Tears came to her eyes.

”I'm sorry,” I said, suddenly contrite. Eleanor and I had never quarreled. Now I stood to lose her friends.h.i.+p.

”I think you do do need a husband to rule you and curb your tongue. Graham may be just the man,” she said coldly and turned her back on me. need a husband to rule you and curb your tongue. Graham may be just the man,” she said coldly and turned her back on me.

I went to the armory, where the soldiers were oiling and polis.h.i.+ng their muskets, and asked to speak with Graham. A few of the men leered at me, but I ignored them. Graham only laughed at their lewd jests.

”Come, fellows, you know I love the fair Lady Anne, not this sun-darkened Ethiop,” he said.

”Was that necessary?” I said when we were out of doors. ”My hair may be black, but I am no Ethiop.”

He smiled. He really was quite charming. ”Queen Cleopatra was Ethiopian and a renowned beauty. How may I serve you, my Cate?”

I said I wanted to hire him to row me to Dasemunkepeuc and protect me while I visited the Croatoan.

”You need not pay me. I will relish the adventure,” he replied.

”I have the means, and I will pay you,” I insisted. ”For this is also a business investment. I want to learn how the women make the designs they paint on their skin. Then I will sell those designs to weavers and embroiderers. You know how London loves a new fas.h.i.+on in cloth. And the Croatoan would prosper by the trade.”

Graham did not reply for a long while. No doubt my plan sounded like an insubstantial dream. But I would find a way to make it real.

”I know why Ralegh loved you now,” he said, admiration in his voice. ”You are a woman after his own heart.”

”I was after his heart,” I admitted ruefully. ”But I doubt he loved me. If he did, I would not be in this bind. If he loved this colony, he would have sent relief s.h.i.+ps by now. He would be here to govern it himself.”

I had never spoken about my feelings for Sir Walter to anyone besides Emme. But our shared exile led me to confide in Graham.