Part 15 (1/2)

19.

(GET YOUR KICKS ON) BEIRUT 66.

The Road to Damascus AUGUST 2007.

ANOTHER ADVENTURE PROMPTED by a phone call from Andrew Tuck at Monocle Monocle. ”The road to Damascus,” he declared. ”Everybody knows what it means, but n.o.body knows what it's like. Go and find out.”

I was happy to do this, because I'm always happy for a reason to visit Beirut in particular, and the Middle East in general-not necessarily for any rugged, righteous, bullet-chewing, seeker-of-truth-in-valley-of-death foreign correspondent reasons, but because the weather is lovely, the food fantastic, the scenery magnificent, the wine delectable, the women beautiful and the people in general supremely courteous and hospitable. If the Arabs could collectively grasp the wisdom of putting their lunatics and criminals in asylums and prisons, instead of installing them in their parliaments and palaces, they'd be the envy of all humanity.

As it happened, my peregrination along the Road to Damascus did prompt an epiphany of sorts, and it went like this. There are few things that the professionally opinionated enjoy more than a few hundred words' fulminating at the ignorance of the general public. My, how we love a good fulminate. We spend hours anxiously scanning news wires, searching for the latest poll which reveals that x percent of the population can't name their own president, that y percent think Afghanistan is where Gandalf lived, or that $ percent don't know the letters of the alphabet. From this raw material, we sculpt the prose equivalent of an accusingly pointing finger.

The a.s.sumption underlying these self-righteous tirades (and I should know; I've written a few) is that it's A Bad Thing that so many people know and care so little about politics. Mostly, this is an a.s.sumption to which I subscribe. However, the great thing about travelling is that one's a.s.sumptions are continually being prodded in the sternum and asked who they think they are, and in this excursion to Lebanon and Syria I found myself wondering whether the bovine complacency often demonstrated by large swathes of first-world electorates is really a problem-and whether, instead, popular indifference to politics should rank alongside literacy and child health as measures of national prosperity.

In Lebanon and Syria, as in all police states, war zones and sundry basket-cases, everybody knows their politics, because everybody has too. Not knowing your politics-not knowing who holds power, and where the limits of that power lie-can leave you dead, or ruined, or receiving a brisk education in prevailing realities as you hang by your ankles. Next time I read a lament that I live among people who, despite unparalleled opportunity for learning and partic.i.p.ation, substantially choose not to give a c.r.a.p, I plan to hum a happy tune.

”AND as he journeyed, he came near Damascus, and suddenly there s.h.i.+ned about him a light from Heaven. And he fell to the Earth, and heard a voice saying unto him 'Saul, Saul, why persecutest me thou?'”-ACTS 9:3-4 WELL, THE SUN is certainly bright out here, but nothing my Ray-Bans can't overcome. The only voices saying anything unto me are my translator keeping up a steady commentary on the view and, on the car's radio, the wearisomely inescapable purveyors of the global mall's muzak: Nelly Furtado, James Blunt, Christine Aguilera. As for persecutions, we hope to ward them off with a bagful of bureaucratic talismans: accreditation from Lebanon's Ministry of Information, a number for a contact at the Syrian equivalent. The Road to Damascus isn't what it used to be.

We are, it should be conceded, fudging slightly. It is simply impossible, today, to retrace exactly the journey that made the Road to Damascus a universally understood allegory for conversion. When the first-century Jewish vigilante Saul of Tarsus set off for Damascus around AD 36, intending to deal some uppity Christians an exemplary smiting, he did so from Jerusalem. Somewhere en route, Saul perceived a dazzling beam from the sky and heard the voice of Christ asking him what, in his father's name, he thought he was doing, or words to that effect. Saul swiftly got with the programme, and is remembered as St. Paul the Apostle. Thanks in no small part to the reluctance of Paul and other earnest types with beards to keep their revelations to themselves, his route between what are now the capitals of Israel and Syria is now blocked by barbed wire, fences, sandbags, minefields, history, blind fury and bad faith; the single border crossing between the two countries, at Quneitra, is only grudgingly open to Druze from the Golan Heights. So we're leaving from Beirut.

Not that this is a straightforward undertaking. In recent years, this version of the road to Damascus has hosted its share of upheaval. In 2005, Syrian troops withdrew along it, having been forced by ma.s.sive popular protests to end their twenty-nine-year occupation of Lebanon following the immense bomb blast in Beirut that killed Lebanese Prime Minister Rafik Hariri. His a.s.sa.s.sination was widely blamed on Syria. In 2006, a year or so ago, this road teemed with Lebanese refugees from Israel's onslaught of that summer in response to the seizure of two Israeli soldiers by the Lebanese-based Hezbollah. Israeli aircraft struck several targets along the route.

What with one thing and another, we've been told, the Road to Damascus isn't as busy as it once was. At our hotel in Beirut, staff who help us wrangle a car and driver tell us that the road once thronged with Lebanese pilgrims visiting holy sites in Syria, and less devout voyagers seeking designer bargains (Benetton and other prized brands are apparently much cheaper in Syria). Now, with relations between the two countries at a sulky nadir-despite Syria's withdrawal, a steady tick of Lebanese politicians and journalists espousing anti-Syrian stances continue to meet spectacular ends-fewer Lebanese are visiting the neighbours.

Myself and photographer Cristobal Palma have persuaded two locals to join us: a driver, whom I'll call Peter, and a translator, whom I'll call Sheila. When we start out on the Damascus Road-that's what it's called-in Beirut, it's immediately noticeable that most of the traffic is coming the other way. It's quite early, and these are commuters descending from the hills for a day's work. The first significant landmark en route, past a district called Hazmi, is outside the Lebanese Ministry of Defence, the entrance of which is graced by one of the weirdest works of public art anywhere in the world: a ten-storey pillar of concrete, embedded with decommissioned trucks, tanks and artillery pieces. The work of the French sculptor Arman, it was unveiled in 1996 as a monument to the Lebanese Civil War of 1975-90.

The soldiers standing guard are used to bemused tourists photographing the thing-I've done it myself before-but they're a bit edgy. Not all that far away-in tiny Lebanon, nothing is all that far away-their comrades are at war, fighting the militants of the Fatah al-Islam sect, who are mounting a prolonged last stand in the wreckage of a Palestinian refugee camp near Tripoli. More than a hundred Lebanese soldiers have died in three months of fighting. The soldiers outside the MoD allow Cris to photograph the monument, but only from a few prescribed angles, to avoid capturing any images of nearby buildings. Though I suspect that the chances of us learning anything the Israeli Air Force don't already know are remote, we cooperate.

From there, we detour through a verdant hill suburb called Yarze-the sort of place which boasts its own country club and a villa belonging to the billionaire Saudi arms dealer Adnan Khashoggi (which, Sheila laughingly notes, was commandeered by the Syrians for use as a headquarters, and is now in the possession of the Lebanese army). We rejoin the road in a queue of belching trucks, groaning up the hill towards a suburb called Araya. The climb is now steep enough to make a difference in the speeds of the opposing lanes. Coming downhill, Lebanese traffic looks like a demented cavalry charge, the sleek stallions branded with the logos of Audi and Mercedes-Benz whipping through the ponderous high-sided carthorses trucking freight into Beirut. Going uphill, wheezing, groaning and grinding gears, the same array of vehicles resembles a depressed, weary retreat after a regrettable result at the point of contact. By the roadside, billboards maladriotly translated into the snappy gibberish of advertising mark our path: Shhhh Silent Parquet; s.e.xy Hot Summer Shower Gel; Loke International Hair Transplant Centre; Burger King-Welcome To Aley.

Aley, like its succeeding suburb, the resort of Bhamdoun, boasts glorious views across the barren uplands (the cool hills around Beirut, at least when not hosting invading armies or wars, are popular holiday destinations-in summer, Arabs vacation away from the heat). By this point, Peter has begun concentrating ostentatiously, hunched over the steering wheel, scanning the way ahead with the nervous intensity of a sniper. His concerns, however, are not to do with anything so glamorous as militia activity or enemy aircraft, but with his fellow Lebanese motorists.

”Very dangerous road from here,” he mutters.

Proof is not long in coming. We pa.s.s a three-car tangle of metal, sprinkled with shattered gla.s.s, surrounded by soldiers and drivers sorting out who hit whom and how. Further along, an olive Range Rover, shortened the length of its engine block by what must have been an emphatic shunt, is being loaded onto a recovery truck. Beyond that, a crowd of laughing bystanders help rescue a four-wheel-drive whose careless owner has planted a front wheel in an open gutter.

Aside from the cool haven of St. George's church, still beautiful despite the Civil War-era shrapnel damage, and a children's funfair, whose depressed owner offers to sell me the business for US$200,000, the buildings along the road are functional, modern and ugly. The industrial squalor is only interrupted by the surreally serene appearance of a Bedouin encampment, the nomads' goats gathered beneath a canvas canopy. It may be that in this region there's little point in dallying too long on attractively crenellated columns-you never know how long your building is going to stay up. A few years ago, a mighty bridge was built linking the suburbs of Sawfar and Daher el Baydar, shaving a decent lump off the journey time. Last year, an Israeli bomb punched the middle out of the bridge, returning the traffic to the winding slog through the valley it traversed. The span is being repaired now. By the valley road, a billboard erected by Hezbollah calls last summer's war ”A Victory From G.o.d.” I've barely been in Lebanon forty-eight hours on this trip, and this must be at least the hundredth giant Hezbollah poster I've seen: the road in from Beirut's airport is lined with grinning portraits of Hezbollah Secretary-General Sayyed Ha.s.san Nasrallah, and the whole city is upholstered with gloating images of wrecked Israeli military hardware (in the southern suburbs, Hezbollah have even established a temporary museum chronicling the war, which we'd visited the previous day: the highlight was an audio-visual display featuring a captured Merkava tank, surrounded by mangled dummies dressed in IDF uniform and splashed with red paint).

The political billboards increase in number as the road unfurls, Lebanon's uncountable rival factions seeking to outdo each other for volume and position. A few honour one of the country's survivors-Nabih Berri, former Amal warlord, now speaker of Lebanon's parliament. Many more are shrines to Berri's less fortunate rivals and colleagues, graphic reminders that Lebanese politics is, as a pastime, at least as hazardous as driving on Lebanese roads: Rafik Hariri, blasted all over Beirut's seafront; George Hawi, the communist party leader killed by a car bomb in June 2005; Gebran Tueni, the journalist and MP killed by a car bomb in December 2005; Pierre Gemayel, Minister for Industry-and nephew of an a.s.sa.s.sinated Lebanese president-gunned down in November 2006; Walid Eido, the member of parliament blown up in June 2007. ”Martyrs for Justice,” says the slogan beneath the portrait of Eido, and his son, who died in the same blast.

We get our first glimpse of the Bekaa Valley from the top of a vertiginous winding road. The flat green sward of the Bekaa is infamous for secreting the camps of organisations unbeloved by the United States, and better liked for its fabulous wines and dairy produce. When we reach Chtaura, it's time for lunch, and Sheila, unlike bemusing numbers of Lebanese, disdains the options of Kentucky Fried Chicken and McDonald's, instead directing us to the Jarjoura laiterie-a purveyor of the Bekaa's local specialties of yoghurt and cheese. The proprietor, Antoine, a forty-seven-year veteran of the store, labours beneath a black and white portrait of his utterly identical father, who founded the shop in 1922. As he tots up the bill for our lunch of (fantastic) haloumi cheese wrapped in rolls of salty flat bread, I ask him how business has been.

”Not great,” he says. ”But, thank G.o.d, better than last year.”

Apparently, people fleeing bombardment tend not to stop for sandwiches.

In downtown Chtaura, we ask Peter to pull his air-conditioned Volvo into the taxi station, so we can see how the locals travel. The cars that ply the route between here and Damascus, for around US$5 per person each way, are yellow-painted, battered, rusty, backfiring American sedans, mostly Dodges and Pontiacs dating from the 1970s. Given that they are, by definition, being driven by Arabs who don't speak much English, Chtaura is at least this evocative of New York. Stalls around the garages sell cheap watches, dodgy electronica, dubious cosmetics, including ”breast-firming cream” and ”s.e.x appeal gel,” and Saddam Hussein lighters. Sheila picks up some jasmine oil for her hair.

Chtaura offers little but the practicalities of travel-food, transport, repairs. For this reason, I'm attracted to a shop whose window is stacked with rainbows of multi-coloured gla.s.s hookah pipes. The young proprietor is reluctant to give his name but happy enough to chat. He says he sells to Lebanese, but not to locals-rather, to the diaspora when they return for brief visits to the old country. Since last summer, though, they're staying put, and if business doesn't pick up soon, he's going to join them, in Canada or Paraguay.

”The Israelis bombed a bridge 300 metres away,” he says, gesturing back up the street. ”I was scared they'd hit that one,” he continues, pointing directly out his window at the ca.n.a.l covering we've just driven across. ”I don't want to live like this.”

I ask if he fears another war.

”Who knows?” he shrugs. ”It's nothing to do with Lebanon. It's all between Israel and Hezbollah.”

On one wall of the shop hangs a portrait of Saddam Hussein, superimposed on a view of Jerusalem.

THE LEBANESE BORDER crossing is an astonis.h.i.+ng, infuriating shambles, the failure of which to escalate into riotous violence is unbeatable testament to the extraordinary patience and courtesy that define day-to-day interactions in the Middle East. Unless, of course, the chaos is a consequence of the same philosophical good humour-after a few hours' wait in the crowd and heat and noise and exhaust fumes, I can't help feeling that the surly, slothful soldiers running the place would buck their ideas up considerably under the threat of spontaneous lynchings. Cris asks someone in uniform if he can photograph the mess, and Peter brandishes our Lebanese press credentials. This elicits mirthless laughter, and the promise that, if we're contemplating trying our luck anyway, plainclothes spotters are lurking. I pa.s.s the time by calling the Syrian Ministry of Information in Damascus, seeking a.s.surance that we'll be allowed to take pictures once across the border, if we ever get across the border. A typically circular Middle Eastern conversation ensues.

”You will need accreditation from us.”

It's the kind of thing the Syrian emba.s.sy in London might have mentioned when we applied for press visas. How do we get that?

”From here in Damascus.”

A bit late now, but out of academic interest, is there any other way?

”No.”

But we want to take pictures on the way. It's kind of the point.

”Yes, you will need accreditation from us.”

In Damascus.

”Yes.”

Sensing that this discussion could occupy us both until the sun collapses on itself, extinguis.h.i.+ng all human life and reducing our planet to a dead ball of frozen carbon, I ask how the functionary how he rates our chances of making it to Damascus unarrested so long as we don't photograph anything that looks military.

”You will need accreditation from us here in Damascus.”

I'm gnawing gaily on my phone when Peter tugs on my sleeve, having somehow negotiated the impenetrable queue on our behalf.

”I have found some friends here,” he grins, ”we can go.”

For two countries so close together, and with so intertwined a history, Lebanon and Syria do their best to keep their distance. Between the two frontiers is seven kilometres of black asphalt ribbon winding through rocky red jebels, lined with trucks awaiting permission to cross. There's one immense-and startling-landmark in this no-man's land: a huge, gleaming duty free mall, like an extension to Singapore's Changi airport that got delivered to the wrong address, complete with a Dunkin' Donuts franchise. The Syrian border itself is marked by faded stone arches bearing the portraits of Hafez al-a.s.sad, who ruled Syria for thirty years from 1970, and Bashar al-a.s.sad, the young British-educated ophthalmologist who inherited the family business upon his father's death in 2000. Bashar was never supposed to become president-the heir was always his elder brother Basel, who forfeited his place in the succession when he crashed his Mercedes-Benz in Damascus in 1994, with fatal consequences. As if to banish any doubts about who is in charge now, the road beyond the border is punctuated at approximately ten-metre intervals with images of Bashar overlaid with a fingerprint in the colours of the Syrian flag, above the dedication, ”We love you.” With only a few gaps, these continue all the way into Damascus.

Peter pulls into a petrol station, the forecourt of which is plastered with posters of a.s.sad Jr. and Nasrallah (since last summer's war, perceived throughout the Arab world as a victory for Hezbollah and a humiliation for Israel, Hezbollah's clenched-fist-and-Kalashnikov logo has also begun to appear in Syria with a frequency that can only be officially encouraged). The petrol is cheaper here, Peter explains-twenty litres costs US$15 in Lebanon, $11 in Syria. Once on the road, he slams his foot down, the identical a.s.sads lining the central reservation whipping by in a blur like an extremely low budget animation. I ask him if he's just taking advantage of the better road.