Chapter 592: Inescapable Net (I) (1/2)
Chapter 592: Inescapable Net (I)
After a long time, Cai’er’s emotions gradually stabilized, only letting out tiny sobs. Long Haochen didn’t even dare ask or look too much at Cai’er, because they were totally bare! To reduce the feelings of enticement, he had no choice but to wrap the quilt around Cai’er’s body, consoling her gently.
Raising her head, Cai’er looked at Long Haochen with a still hazy face, “Sorry Haochen, I can’t…”
Long Haochen shook his head with haste, “It’s nothing, I was just too hurried.”
Wiping the sweat on Long Haochen’s forehead, Cai’er tightly nestled in his embrace, “It’s my fault, I’m just too afraid of losing you.”
Seeing her emotions as rather stabilized, Long Haochen finally attempted to ask, “Cai’er, what do you mean?” He absolutely didn’t believe that Cai’er cried so bitterly just because of the excessive intimacy.
Cai’er lowered her head, “Ever since losing my memories, I believed that there should be another person in me that should receive your love, and that’s the past me. Today, when we faced the test of Ying’er’s grandfather, this feeling was especially distinct. When everyone reported to you, raising our morale, I could see how dedicatedly and dearly they viewed these past memories. But I don’t have such memories, I don’t have any of them. That instant, I felt just like a total stranger. I am not that Cai’er in your heart anymore, right? But at the same time, I love you just as much. Did you know about that? Despite wanting to regain my memories, I am also very afraid of that.
“Without regaining my memories, I won’t be able to confirm your feelings for me. But if I regain them, won’t the current me disappear, eternally unable to come back? That’s why I’m really scared, and don’t like that feeling at all. I’m afraid of losing you forever, which is why I came to you, wanting to offer you my most precious thing. But just that instant, I suddenly realized that all of this doesn’t belong to me, but to that other me. That’s why I cannot give myself to you, I just can’t…”
Hearing her so mournful voice, Long Haochen became silent. He asked himself whether the one he liked was really the past Cai’er?
Just as Cai’er said, after her loss of memories, some changes happened in her emotions. The depressed feelings she had due to her memories having yet to come back were known by Long Haochen more than anyone else.
However, his way of thinking wasn’t like Cai’er’s. No matter whether it is before or after losing her memories, Cai’er was still Cai’er. It’s just that her memories were separated in two parts, which is why he could patiently wait.
Lightly stroking her disordered hair, Long Haochen said in a low voice, “You are really an idiot. Why would you think that way? I love Cai’er, her everything. Be it your body, your hair, or even your little drops of sweat. No matter whether it is before or after you lost your memories, you are just you, my Cai’er. All you have lost were memories, you don’t have to worry about losing your current self after getting them back. That’s because they will only fuse back, and won’t possibly take over or erase each other.”
Hearing Long Haochen’s words, Cai’er gradually calmed down from her emotional state. Drawing close to him, she didn’t say anything, but her shaking calmed down greatly.
“Cai’er, did you know? Actually I am very happy, much more than if we were ordinary lovers.” At this point, Long Haochen stopped, voluntarily cutting in the crucial part.
As expected, his words roused Cai’er’s curiosity. She lifted up her head to look at him, eyes red and inflamed from crying, and asked, ”Why?”
Long Haochen kissed her forehead with a smile, “That’s because my lover fell in love with me twice! Just think, if after your memories come back, your two loves for me become one, how can it not make you love me even more? Just how much luck do I have to be able to live such a thing? So you don’t need to worry, be it your past self or your present self, I will love both without reservations. I won’t hide from you that, deep inside, I still wish for you to recover your previous memories, because I hope for you to remember our happy times from the past.
“But I will never press you to recover your memories. We should just let nature follow its course. But no matter what, and no matter when, you don’t have to worry about losing me. As long as I am alive, you will always be the only one I have feelings for. Even after death or reincarnation, you will still be my only one.
“When I was young, I didn’t understand what love is. But now I understand, it is about always thinking of someone, about longing for that person, taking care of that person, watching attentively, embracing, kissing and being willing to sacrifice anything for your sake. I love you and love your everything. Your memory loss definitely won't cause me to divide you up.
I definitely won’t make any distinctions just because you have lost your memories. It only pains me and makes me want to treasure and protect you all the more, because I haven’t been protecting you well.”
“Haochen…” Cai’er shouted loudly, struggling free of the quilt and suddenly throwing herself at him, deeply hugging him. Her tears burst out once again, but this time, not out of pain but happiness.
In the morning, Long Haochen appeared in front of the group with dark circles under his eyes, and outside of the absent Cai’er, everyone else seemed to be laughing up their sleeves.