Part 18 (1/2)
As I went I encountered others, or overtook the the saue I could not understand I noted that the madness had left his eyes and that his fine-cut features were calm and spiritual The other wanderers I did not know
I caht rose in h I felt no heat I stood in a lovely, shi+ning valley about which burned e trees in that valley, but they glowed like gold and their flowers and fruit were as though they had been fashi+oned of lorious beyond coe to me and not to be described I sat me down upon a boulder which burned like a ruby, whether with heat or colour I do not know, by the edge of a stream that flohat looked like fire and made a lovely music I stooped down and drank of this water of flames and the scent and the taste of it were as those of the costliest wine
There, beneath the spreading lie flowers that grew around, coloured like rich jewels and perfuht have been feathered with sapphires, rubies and a was so sweet that I could have wept to hear it The scene onderful and filled ht of the land where it is proan to appear; h whence they came I could not see They did not fly and they did not walk; they seeuided boats drift upon the tide One and all they were very beautiful, but their beauty was not huh their shapes and faces reselorious None were old, and except the children, none seerown backwards or forwards to middle life and rested there at their very best
Now came the h so far as e went I had never set eyes on otten life or epoch I had been intimate with every one of them; also that it was the fact of my presence and the call of my sub-conscious mind which drew them to this spot Yet that presence and that call were not visible or audible to them, who, I suppose, flowed down some stream of sympathy, why or whither they did not know Had I been as they were perchance they would have seenand I could not speak and tell them of my presence
Soh even when they had departed years and years ago But about these I noted this, that every one of them was a man or a woman or a child for whom I had felt love or sympathy or friendshi+p Not one was a person whoain If they spoke at all I could not hear-or read-their speech, yet to a certain extent I could hear their thoughts
Many of these were beyond the power of e, or that were too high for s such as concern us upon the earth, such as of friendshi+p, or learning, or journeys made or to be made, or art, or literature, or the wonders of Nature, or of the fruits of the earth, as they knew theion
This I noted too, that each separate thought seemed to be hallowed and enclosed in an atmosphere of prayer or heavenly aspiration, as a seed is enclosed in the heart of a flower, or a fruit in its odorous rind, and that this prayer or aspiration presently appeared to bear the thought ahither I knew not Moreover, all these thoughts, even of the hu cruel or i the them I perceived were none that had to do with our earth; this and its affairs seemed to be left far behind these thinkers, a truth that chilled my soul was alien to their coh I knew that all these bright ones had been near to me at some hour in the s dwelt upon ht hich I had to do
Between h wall built
Oh, look! One ca like a star, and from far away caly, and with this last a maiden, whose eyes were as hers who my own heart told me was her mother
Well, I knew them both; they were those whom I had come to seek, the woht of them my spirit thrilled Surely they would discover me Surely at least they would speak of h they stayed within a pace or two of where I rested, alas! it was not so They sees, high things of which I will not write, and co robes they wore, but never a one of o to them, but could not; I strove to speak and could not; I strove to throw out ht to them and could not; it fell back upon my head like a stone hurled heavenward
They were remote from me, utterly apart I wept tears of bitterness that I should be so near and yet so far; a dull and jealous rage burned in my heart, and this they did seem to feel, or so I fancied; at any rate, apparently bypained them Yes, er hurt the this root of bitterness, a nised , but still my father, hom came others, men and women whom I knew to be my brothers and sisters who had died in youth far away in Oxfordshi+re Joy leapt up in ive h here sex has lost its power, blood must still call to blood
But it was not so They spoke, or interchanged their thoughts, but not one ofthat passed froht theether there, and read also the answer hazarded, that perhaps itnear from below and would feel lonely and unfriended Thereon my father replied that he did not see or feel this wanderer, and thought that it could not be so, since it was his
Then in an instant all were gone and that lovely, glowing plain was e tears of blood and sha while, till presently I are of a new presence, a presence dusky and splendid and arrayed in rich barbaric robes Straight she came towards me, like a thrown spear, and I knew her for a certain royal and savage woman who on earth was named Mah see ht, watching in the light?” she said or thought, I know not which, but the words caue
”Aye,” she went on, ”I know that thou art there; froues away I felt thy presence and broke froh I e How did those welcome thee whom thou camest out to seek? Did they clasp thee in their arms and press their kisses on thy brow? Or did they shrink away from thee because the smell of earth was on thy hands and lips?”
I seemed to answer that they did not appear to know that I was there
”Aye, they did not know because their love is not enough, because they have grown too fine for love But I, the sinner, I kneell, and here aive thee place within this storet them, then, and come to rule with me who still am queen in my own house that thou shalt share There ill live royally and when our hour comes, at least we shall have had our day”
Now before I could reply, some power seemed to seize this splendid creature and whirl her thence so that she departed, flashi+ng these words from her mind to mine, ”For a little while farewell, but re still as a sinful woman in a woman's love and of the earth, earthy, found thee, whoht, watch in the night for ain, and yet again”
She was gone and onceat the jewelled flowers and the glorious fla trees and the la of it all, I wondered, and as I deserted by everyone save a single savage woman, and why had she a power to find iven me an answer, because she was ”as a sinful woman with a woman's love and of the earth, earthy,” while with the rest it was otherwise Oh! this was clear, that in the heavens reatest Friend of all Who understands both flesh and spirit
Thus Iworld which was still so beautiful, this alien world into which I had thrust ht And while I mused this happened The fiery waters of the strea up I saw the cause
A dog had plunged into the on which rel, half spaniel and half bull-terrier, which for years had been the dear friend of my youth and died at last on the horns of a wounded wildebeeste that attacked me when I had fallen from my horse upon the veld Boldly it tackled theme time to scramble to my rifle and shoot it, but not before the poor hound had yielded its life for, smut by name, it was that swam or seemed to swim the brook of fire It scrambled to the hither shore, it nosed the earth and ran to the ruby stone and stared about it whining and sniffing
At last it sees and licked h I heard nothing Noept in earnest and bent down to hug and kiss the faithful beast, but this I could not do, since like myself it was only shadow
Then suddenly all dissolved in a cataract of ulf of blackness
Surely Ayesha was talking to me! What did she say? What did she say? I could not catch her words, but I caught her laughter and knew that after her fashi+on she was h with heavy sleep; it was difficult to lift them At last they were open and I saw Ayesha seated on her couch before me and-this I noted at once-with her lovely face unveiled I looked about uessed they must be, since otherwise Ayesha would not have been unveiled We were quite alone She was addressing me and in a new fashi+on, since now she had abandoned the for the more impressive and intimate ”thou,” much as is the manner of the French
”Thou hast made thy journey, Allan,” she said, ”and what thou hast seen there thou shalt tell lad to look upon flesh and blood again and, after the company of spirits, to find that of mortal woman Come then and sit beside me and tell thy tale”
”Where are the others?” I asked as I rose slowly to obey, for my head swam and my feet seeh of ghosts, which is perhaps thy case also Come, drink this and be a ht thee safe fro a strange-shaped cup from a stool that stood beside her, she offered it towhether it ine or poison, since my heart seemed desperate at its failure and reat betrayal I suppose it was the forh e and the joy of life
I stepped to the dais and sat ainst its rounded end so that I was almost face to face with Ayesha who had turned towards me, and thence could study her unveiled loveliness For a while she said nothing, only eyed h she aiting for that wine to do its ith ain, Allan, tell me what thou didst see when thou wast more-or less-than man”
So I told her all, for some poithin her seemed to draw the truth out of me Nor did the tale appear to cause her much surprise
”There is truth in thy dream,” she said when I had finished; ”a lesson also”
”Then it was all a drea a dream, even life itself, Allan? If so, what can this be that thou hast seen, but a drea other dreams, as in the old days the ball fashi+oned by the eastern workers of ivory would oft be found to contain another ball, and this yet another and another and another, till at the inold, or perchance a jehich was the prize of him who could draw out ball from ball and leave them all unbroken That search was difficult and rarely was the jewel come by, if at all, so that some said there was none, save in theand die with the mystery unsolved How much harder, then, is it to come at the diamond of Truth which lies at the core of all our nest of dreams and without which to rest upon they could not be fashi+oned to seem realities?”
”But was it really a dream, and if so, ere the truth and the lesson?” I asked, determined not to allow her to bemuse or escape me with her metaphysical talk and illustrations
”The first question has been answered, Allan, as well as I can ansho alobe of dreaem within, whose prisoned rays illuh so diht of a God can catch their glalow-flies in the glare of noon”
”Then what are the truth and the lesson?” I persisted, perceiving that it was hopeless to extract from her an opinion as to the real nature of my experiences and that I must content myself with her deductions from them
”Thou tellest me, Allan, that in thy dream or vision thou didst seem to appear before thyself seated on a throne and in that self to find thy judge That is the Truth whereof I spoke, though how it found its way through the black and ignorant shell of one whose wit is so suess, since I believed that it was revealed to an to see the origin of all these fantasies and that for once Ayesha had made a slip If she had a theory and I developed that sauess its fount However, I kept my mouth shut, and luckily for once she did not seem to readher s words) ”All men worshi+p their own God,” she went on, ”and yet seem not to know that this God dwells within them and that of him they are a part There he dwells and there they mould him to their own fashi+on, as the potter h whatever the shape he seeers, still he remains the God infinite and unalterable Still he is the Seeker and the Sought, the Prayer and its Fulfilment, the Love and the Hate, the Virtue and the Vice, since all these qualities the alchemy of his spirit turns into an ultis and all things are in the God, whoarments and whose countenance they hide beneath so many reat tree it nurtures of the sap? In the world's woives life, yet what of the fire knows the glorious earth it conceived and will destroy; in the heavens the great globes swing through space and rest not, yet what know they of the Strength that sent thehty motions, or turn the this all-present God is judge, or rather, not one butcreature heto that creature's lahich in the beginning the God established for it and decreed Thus in the breast of everyone there is a rule and by that rule, at work through a countless chain of lives, in the end he shall be lifted up to Heaven, or bound about and cast down to hell and death”
”You hts and ies overpowered me
”Aye, a conscience, if thou wilt, and canst only understand that ter, that consciences, as thou namest them, are many I have one; thou, Allan, hast another; that black Axe-bearer has a third; the little yellow s For even a dog such as thou sawest has a conscience and-like thyself or I-e, because of the spark that coreat fire, and in thee as a sment on yourself in a day to co, ”I trust that you will re your virtues”
She smiled in her vivid way-only twice or thrice did I see her s illurave and even sombre
”Well answered,” she said ”Goad the patient ox enough and even it will grow fierce and paw the ground
”Humility! What have I to do with it, O Allan? Let humility be the part of the hun as I do, and they are few indeed, let there be pride and the glory they have earned Now I have told thee of the Truth thou sawest in thy vision and wouldst thou hear the Lesson?”