Part 30 (1/2)

f.u.c.k, I could have lost her tonight. I nearly did.

Nausea swarms in my gut, and my heart struggles to keep a steady beat. The fact she was willing to walk out like that taunts me, her words replaying like an echo.

You deserve so much more.

I know she thinks she was doing the right thing, but she has to know by now I will never let her leave.

Ever.

Knowing this is far from over, I force myself to keep my head clear. Tomorrow, s.h.i.+t is going down, but tonight, I will hold her and comfort her until her tears dry up and every ounce of guilt she's been carrying drifts away.

Maybe one day she will see just how much she deserves this and then realize I'm not enough, but until that day comes, I am going to give her what she needs. And right now, she needs grace. Grace for taking a monster's life.

And I am going to give it to her.

If anyone deserves it, it's her.

”So you want to go to Ohio, walk into some small town diner looking for a guy named Fred, and ask if he covered up a murder?” Jesse summarizes everything I just told the table, making it sound more f.u.c.king crazy than I am right now. It's the morning after Mackenzie told me her secret. After tossing and turning all night, I decided I needed to bring the guys in on this to get their perspective. After all, Mayor Morre could know more than I think he knows and then we'd all be in more s.h.i.+t.

”Need to know this Fred can be trusted. I don't want anything coming back on her.”

”You don't want to call Jackson in on this?” he presses.

”Jesse, she f.u.c.king killed him then covered it up. Yeah, let's bring the f.u.c.king cops in on this, a.s.shole.” I shake my head, not in the mood for his s.h.i.+t today.

”I'm sorry. I didn't realize we were back on the other side of the law,” he fires back with the same att.i.tude.

”What the f.u.c.k is that supposed to mean?” I turn in my seat and give him my full attention. If he even suggests we call this in again, I'll f.u.c.king lay him out.

”He means we all like Mackenzie, Beau. But she killed someone. The Mayor's son at that. Then she came back and lied to us all. You really okay with this?” Sy enters the conversation.

”The f.u.c.ker terrorized her. Beat her to the point she had to run. You think he was looking for her so they could have a f.u.c.king candle-lit dinner? He was going to kill her. Regardless of how you or I see it, she did what she felt she had to do in order to survive. So yes, I'm f.u.c.king okay with her taking the a.s.shole's life.”

”Yeah, and if she stayed, she could have had a better chance of fixing this,” Jesse keeps pus.h.i.+ng. He just doesn't comprehend it. How could he? His woman hasn't been in Mackenzie's shoes and never will be.

”But she didn't, okay. You can f.u.c.king judge her all you want, but we're still going to help her.”

”Boss?” Jesse turns to Nix. ”You gonna weigh in on this cl.u.s.terf.u.c.k anytime soon?”

”You know what, f.u.c.k you, Jesse.” I stand, pus.h.i.+ng my chair back, done with his s.h.i.+t. I was stupid to think bringing them in on this would be good. Should have just handled it on my own without a single f.u.c.king word to them.

”Beau, wait-” Nix calls out, but I'm not hearing it. I didn't come to them for a f.u.c.king vote. I came to them for help.

”No, I'm done. This club has done so much s.h.i.+t for everyone sitting at this table. I get it. I really f.u.c.king do. We've pulled ourselves out of h.e.l.l. We don't need this kind of heat. But we are not calling the cops. I'd take the fall before I see her do time for this.”

”You're f.u.c.king crazy,” Jesse scoffs.

”No, he's in love,” Hunter counters and my eyes fall on him.

f.u.c.k me, the little f.u.c.ker gets it.

”She was ready to run to keep us safe. I'm not okay with that. She f.u.c.king leaves, I go with her.” The table falls silent at my admission and I take the moment to calm my breathing. ”You'd do the same for Holly.” I turn to Sy, already knowing his answer.

”f.u.c.king A,” is his reply.

”Kadence?” I twist back to Nix.

”Don't even have to ask.”

I look to Brooks and point him an expectant stare. He nods, giving me his answer. I skip over Hunter, knowing he doesn't have a woman and look back to Jesse.

”I'd do the same for Bell, but she's my woman.” He c.o.c.ks his brow, just pus.h.i.+ng me the only way he can.

”Mackenzie is my f.u.c.king woman, c.o.c.khead!” I all but scream at him.

”So you love her?” Jesse smirks. If I could reach him without moving, I'd punch him.

”Keep up, a.s.shole.” I shake my head at his deep laugh. ”Nix, I'm not asking for your permission here, not when it comes to her.” He gets me. I know he does. But he still takes a minute before speaking.

”Take Hunter with you. We'll keep an eye on her.” He gives me his approval, but in all honesty, this would have happened with or without it.

I turn my attention to Hunter, nodding for him to get up.

”I'm leaving in ten. Grab what you need now.” He doesn't need to be told twice. He moves out of the room without a word.

”Anything else?” I look back at Nix.

”Don't f.u.c.k this up,” is all he says before coming to stand. The rest of them follow him up and come toward me. Sy smirks at me and slaps my back as he pa.s.ses.

”Welcome to the other side.” And maybe it's the adrenaline running through me, but I miss the punch line.

”What side?” I call after him.

”Where you do stupid s.h.i.+t for p.u.s.s.y,” Nix answers, pa.s.sing me next.

”f.u.c.k, been there since she walked into my life,” I admit, then listen to them all laugh.

”Not like I haven't been telling you this since the night we picked her up,” Sy shouts back.

”Yeah, I'm finally listening,” I tell him as Jesse pa.s.ses. Remembering how much he p.i.s.sed me off, I land my fist into his arm. ”That's for being a f.u.c.khead.”

”Love you too, bro.” He barely flinches, continuing his exit.