Part 2 (1/2)

”Of course.” The young boy, Z, puffs his chest out like he has the most important job. It's too cute really to see him so protective of the younger kids. ”When are we having dinner, Mom?” Z s.h.i.+fts and turns to look to Kadence.

”I suppose I should get that started, huh” Kadence leans forward and scruffs his hair.

”Would you like something to drink? Coffee?” Bell asks as she moves to the coffee pot.

”Ahh, no thanks, I'm good.” The last thing I need is coffee right now. Not when I plan on cras.h.i.+ng as soon as this little tour Kelly is giving is over. Bell smiles and nods. I watch as she reaches for her own coffee.

”This kitchen is huge.” I continue to look around, checking out my surroundings.

”It has to be with all the people around here.” Kelly shrugs, like the idea of anything smaller would be ridiculous. ”Shall we keep going?” she steps toward the door.

”You guys go on ahead. We'll start on dinner.” Kadence waves us off, leaving Kelly and I alone.

”Sure,” I reply and follow Kelly out towards a gla.s.s door that opens out to an outdoor area.

”The boys spend a lot of their time out here,” Kelly offers. I nod and look out. A large outdoor setting sits in the middle of the patio. Chairs, crates, and a few other makes.h.i.+ft seats fill the area. Past the patio, acres span around the clubhouse, closed in by full fencing.

”It's amazing.” I shake my head at my choice of words. I guess when you've been living in a small one-bedroom matchbox unit, something as big as this is amazing. I turn back and follow Kelly inside. We step back to the kitchen bypa.s.sing a ma.s.sive oak door that sits closed. I don't ask what's behind it because somehow I know it's where Beau and the others are. Talking about me being here.

”Did you want something to eat?” Holly asks, pulling down some plates while holding her son.

”No, thank you. If it's okay with you guys, I think I just want to crash. I'm so tired. I haven't slept in over two days.” Holly's eyes darken and I know she's probably mad for me, some kind of woman-to-woman sympathy thing that happens when women hear about your past, but I can't deal with anyone right now. I just need to sleep.

”You go on ahead. I'll let Beau know you can find your way around the clubhouse, and now just need some shut eye.” Kadence lets me off the hook.

”Thanks so much, I wish I could stay and get to know you all more,” I offer the weak line. I know they probably want some sort of explanation about why I'm here, but if I hang around any longer, I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my calm composure.

”Don't sweat it, girl. We'll be here tomorrow. We can chat then.” Kelly steps forward and brings her arms around me. I can't help but tense. Forcing myself to relax into her hug, I focus on my breathing. Over the last eighteen months, I've been working on my reaction to any sudden movement. The self-defense cla.s.ses have helped, but sometimes it gets the better of me and I react.

”Okay, well thanks for everything. Umm, can you tell Beau thank you.” I start to fidget in my spot, anxious to leave. I feel terrible ditching them after they have just welcomed me in, but I need s.p.a.ce to process the last forty-eight hours.

”We will, sleep well, and know you're safe here.” Kadence steps forward this time. She doesn't put her arms around me; instead, she reaches for my hand and squeezes it firmly in a comforting gesture.

”Thanks.” I pull back, and look over at Bell and Holly, giving them a wave before turning on my heel. The idea I am safe settles over me as I make my way to my room.

Safe.

When was the last time I truly felt safe?

The night Beau sat with me in hospital.

Forgoing a bath like I had planned, I pull back the covers on the double bed and crawl in. My eyes are so heavy I don't know how I've functioned for this long.

Letting out a defeated breath, I pull the blanket up to my neck and close my eyes. It doesn't take long for sleep to take me, and for the first time in a long time, I know I'm going to sleep well.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm here, or because of why I'm here.

Only time will tell.

Past.

Mackenzie.

”Okay, I'm heading out.” I stop at the door on my way out to say goodbye to Chad.

”Where do you think you're going?” He looks up from the television and eyes my outfit. Dark-wash jeans and a pale pink camisole set off with a black jacket and matching heels cover my body. I was going for casual with a hint of s.e.xy and judging by his stare, I might have just pulled it off.

”With Heidi.”

”What about my dinner?”

”I told you last week, Chad. I'm going out for dinner for Heidi's birthday.” A look I can't read washes over his face before he stands and walks toward me.

”So you're just going to leave me here with no dinner and go out?” At first I think he's joking. The last few months have been great between us.

”Quit playing, Chad. I'm going to be late.” I shake my head just as he steps in front of me. He's the same height as me when I'm wearing heels so I don't have to look up to make eye contact with him. ”You can cook your own dinner or there are leftovers in the fridge if you don't want to.”

”But I want you to cook for me.” His voice is controlled, his pout only just gracing his lips. I roll my eyes, thinking we're playing a game here, not realizing how wrong I am. My slip in my reserve costs me. Before I can react, I'm pushed up against the wall. Hand to my chest, pinning me with his weight.

”Chad?” I ask. Fear ignites, working its way through my body and was.h.i.+ng away the last four months he hasn't laid a hand on me.

The last time Chad hit me I pa.s.sed out in the bathroom. I woke up in our bed with him hovering over me with the most distraught face I had ever seen on him. At first, my instinct was to leave. No man was ever going to hit me and expect me to put up with it. But stupid me believed him when he broke down in tears and promised me he would never do it again. Who was I to throw a good marriage away for one mistake? So I stayed. And everything went back to normal. We had our fights, sure. But not once has Chad raised his hand to me again.

Until tonight.

”You ever roll your eyes at me again, you'll regret it, Mackenzie.” His alcohol-tainted breath hits my face.

”I didn't mean it.” My need to placate him takes over. I've gone back to the woman he needs when he's like this.

”I thought you were learning, Mackenzie.” His free hand moves to my face, holding my jaw in his tight grip. I know it's not a question, but I answer anyway.

”From now on, Chad. I'll remember. I'll learn. It was a slip. I'm sorry.” I sound like a pathetic, weak person to my own ears, but I don't care. I just need to stop this before it gets out of hand.

”Do you like it when I punish you? You like being taught a lesson?” His fingers tighten, making it harder to talk.

”No.” I barely gasp through the hold he has on me.

”Then why do you insist on pus.h.i.+ng me?” I don't have an answer right away. Do I like pus.h.i.+ng him? Maybe some part of me wanted to push. Do I deserve this as a result? No. Do I want this type of love?

”I... I don't know why. But I promise it won't ever happen again.” I scramble for the words he needs to hear, attempting to calm the beast I know is almost free of his cage, but I'm too late. It's too late.

The slap comes next. The sting burns my face, bringing stars to my eyes.