Part 25 (1/2)

I pulled back, not liking what I was feeling. ”There had to have been a better way,” I said dryly, my gaze going past him to the burnt pool table.

”Perhaps,” he said slowly. ”I swan I wouldVe killed them straight out to keep Jenks from making a die of it and you safe. I still think allowing them to live is a mistake. It remains to see if you are strong enough to see it through. And how.”

”It wasn't a mistake,” I said, affronted, and he sighed, burnt hand held loosely in the other as he looked down at them. Okay, maybe it was a mistake, but f d make it again in a heartbeat. Or maybe find another way to begin with. There just wasn't an answer that I liked, and exhausted in mind and body, I said, ”They're right.” Pierce's eyes met mine, and I added, ”Vivian. Brooke. Everyone. I'm a demon. I deserve what they're trying to do to me.” I raised a hand and let it fall, staring at it on my lap and wondering if I could smell burnt amber on it. ”I'm filthy.”

Pierce only smiled as if I was endearing, making me want to smack him. ”You're not,” he said, softening my anger. ”Surviving the decision of letting such ornery people live will be its own punishment. Don't look to add to it.”

”I don't want to be this person,” I said, frowning when I heard Ivy come in and go to her bathroom. Getting something for the scratch on her bicep, probably.

”But this is who you are.”

”Only because people keep throwing this c.r.a.p at me!” I said loudly. ”If everyone would leave me alone, I wouldn't have to do this stuff!” Ivy's bathroom door creaked again and she moved to her room. Cant I have one conversation without everyone listening in? Cant I have one conversation without everyone listening in?

”The council will come after you now,” I said, feeling better for some reason. ”They know you've been helping me.”

His gaze was in the rafters. ”They'd do that anyway. I was never officially shunned because I was coven and it would've been embarra.s.sing. Shortsighted pig farmers. That I dealt with demons in order to kill them meant nothing. What they think isn't worth a picayune.”

Focus blurring, I thought about the very powerful charms, no, curses, that I'd seen him twist, and then the conversation we'd had at Nick's place. How come I couldn't not care about what the coven thought?

”Just exactly why were they so hot to kill you, anyway?” I asked. I had to know. I'd seen what he was capable of, and I had to know what he'd done.

Head bowed, Pierce looked at his hands. ”My situation wasn't much of a circ.u.mstance,” he said sourly. ”I held trust with demons to kill them, but you can imagine that didn't mean a hooter to the coven. They were a sight more skerry of demons than they are today.”

The coffee table was between us, but my skin was tingling. ”That's why Al thought you'd kill me,” I said. ”Because you kill demons, and I'm a student of one?”

Pierce shook his head. ”I wouldn't hurt you, even if you were a demon yourself.”

The back door slammed behind Ivy, and I jumped, having forgotten she was in here. ”Good,” I said, a tad more bitter than I had intended, ”because I probably am one.”

But Pierce only touched his nose and smiled. ”You're feeling better,” he a.s.serted.

Yeah, I was. Suddenly nervous, I stood.

”It's not what you are, but who you are,” Pierce said, and when he stood as well, I started edging into the hall. ”I saw you when you had just tipped the scales to womanhood, and I can tell you that you're much the same in your mind now as you were then.”

”And what is that?” I asked from within the dark hallway.

Pierce was silent until he stopped right before me, his face showing an unreadable emotion. ”You're firm in will, pure in intent, strong in magic. But now it's tempered with wisdom, and you're more beautiful and brilliant yet.” I went to turn away, and he pulled me back. ”You are shades of gray swirling, balancing needs and desires,” he added, watching me. ”You are good, Rachel. No matter what your choices lead you to, you will remain such.”

My eyes warmed as my emotions tipped back the other way. d.a.m.n it, this was exactly what I needed, but I knew better than to trust fairy tales. ”Is it harder to be good when you know too much, or is it that your mistakes make bigger messes?” I asked, miserable.

His hand fell from me. ”You're moved by love. That means everything. Take it from one who's lost all and then gained more.”

I dropped my head, feeling the weight in my chest start to lift. Exhaling long and slow, I realized I'd found my comfort in his words. Calm took me. Ivy and Jenks. His family. My church. Even Nick. Maybe Trent. They were all important to me. So I lived among savage people with a thin veneer of civility. Who didn't? I knew them. I loved them. I'd fight for their survival, and worry about the rest later.

”You're back,” Pierce said softly. ”You find your feet so fast, mistress witch. What are you going to do about the fairies?”

A faint embarra.s.sment warmed my cheeks. ”I thought we'd just let them go if they promised to leave us alone,” I said as I started for the back of the church. I felt different, and I didn't know why. Maybe it was because I hadn't cried on his shoulder, but stood fast to my decisions. Accepted them. If it had been a mistake, then I'd fix it.

Pierce shook his head as he followed almost at my shoulder, and realizing I was proposing we trust a fairy to keep its word, I grimaced. ”You're right. Stupid idea. Maybe I could put them in a box and s.h.i.+p them to Borneo.”

”You can't send them anywhere,” Pierce said. ”They're a paltry seven-by-nine warrior without their wings. I opine, I mean, I think it's a slow, starving death they face. Living on one's own hook the way they do.”

”I can't do anything right, can I?” We had reached the back living room, and I glanced at the new clock Ivy had put on the mantel, wondering if it had come from Piscary's. An hour after sunrise, and I'm still alive. How about that? An hour after sunrise, and I'm still alive. How about that?

”It's not an issue of right or wrong,” Pierce said as he reached to open the door. ”I like that you create choices where none exist. I'm anxious to see how you make a fist of this, though.”

”You're not going to help me, are you?” I asked, and he grinned.

”Sakes' alive, Rachel. Asking me to think is a powerful task.”

My eyebrows rose, but I was in a much better mood when the sounds of the garden slipped around me. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out onto the small back porch.

The garden and graveyard beyond it weren't bad. From the vantage point atop the stairs, I could see a wide ring of burnt earth where the curse had begun to take hold at the edges, ribbons of wilting vegetation making random paths, like lightning, to it from where we had sheltered under Pierce's bubble. Imagining everything burnt made me sick. One of my neighbors was outside looking at the damage to his lawn, but he went in when he saw me. Wise choice.

Someone-Ivy, presumably-had turned the picnic table upright, and the fairies had been moved to it. They were in a circle, probably for their protection. A stash of cotton, medical tape, and antiseptic were in there with them. Two of the most able fairies were using their sharp teeth to cut the medical tape since their swords were currently being sported by Jenks's children. I'd always wondered where his kids got fairy steel. Now I knew.

The pixies hovering above them were not being nice. Pierce was right. This was bad. I couldn't ask Jenks to let them stay in the garden under his protection. He'd never forgive me, and it would probably kill the fairies. Death by pride.

Ivy looked up from dabbing an antibiotic cream on her arm as I schlumped down the stairs. Rising, she came over with a bandage, glancing back once at the fairies when Jenks's kids started shouting a vulgar song at them. ”You okay?” she asked as she handed me the bandage and I pulled the tape off, fixing it in place over the tiny scratch and surrounding bruise.

”Not really.” I crumpled up the tape and shoved it in a pocket. Behind me, Pierce eased over to the table, sitting down and forcing the pixies back with his presence. ”How about you?”

She shrugged, and our attention went to Ceri, her back to us and her dress charmingly tied up around her knees as she knelt in the gra.s.s and helped three of Jenks's youngest kids prop up a bush that had gotten caught in the vanguard heat trails.

”Sorry for running off like that,” I said. ”Is Ceri still mad at me?”

Her eyes came back to me, a wide rim of brown around them in the sun. Nodding, she said, ”Jenks caught a scout on his way to send word to the coven that the attack failed. Chased him down the block. We've got a small s.p.a.ce before they send something else, I imagine, unless they're watching us.”

I hope not, I thought, wondering if Vivian had seen it all. ”Where's the scout?” I thought, wondering if Vivian had seen it all. ”Where's the scout?”

”Funny you should ask.” She started back to the table, not answering my question.

Pierce looked up from a conversation with the fairy that Jenks had almost killed in front of me. I wondered what the fairy was saying-his thoughts I'd almost permanently silenced. Not ready to talk to him, I looked to Ceri. Pulling my shoulders up, I reluctantly went to her. The pixies with her scattered at her soft word, and I sighed.

”Don't talk to me,” she said curtly as she tended the shrub. ”I'm angry with you.”

Her hands were busy with the plant, and I knelt beside her, my knees getting damp again. ”I'm sorry,” I said, thinking it was weird to apologize for not killing someone. ”I couldn't do it.”

Ceri pressed new dirt around the shrub. Her fair hair swung, but her motions were losing their sharpness. I handed her a twig to prop up a stem, and she s.n.a.t.c.hed it. ”Lee told me what the coven was doing,” she said unexpectedly. ”He said you'd be under siege, so I came to help. I left Trent to do it. Left Quen.” She looked up, and I blinked to see tears in her eyes.

”Trent won't let you come back,” I said, surprised. d.a.m.n it, she had left her secure home and excellent care for her unborn baby to help me, and I'd thrown her help in the dirt.

”I can,” she said, her gaze on the dirt under her nails. ”But I won't. I failed.”

Huh?

Ceri took a deep breath and stood, still graceful despite her pregnancy. ”Why do you think I was staying at Trent's estates?” she asked as I stood.