Vol 10 Chapter 38 (1/2)

Chapter 38

VOLUME 10 CHAPTER 38: DON’T TELL ME THIS IS RETURNING TO XINYE (5)

Liu Bei POV

“She left. A letter came from her mother in the north and she has gone to see her mother.”

“Where to? Luoyang? Chang’an?”

I shook my head, “To Xuchang.”

…

When she heard this, Liao Hua sank into silence. She should have realised what I meant and decided against asking any further.

“That really can’t be helped.” Liao Hua said after a long pause.

“Un…” I smiled stiffly and nodded at Liao Hua as I looked at her, “But for Yuan Zhi, it might be a good thing to go to Xuchang. There’s nothing bad about living a peaceful life as a petty official after all.”

“Who knows?” Liao Hua said with a doubtful tone as she shrugged.

“Eh? What do you mean?”

“My lord, do you think that Lord Xu Shu really wanted to go to Xuchang?”

“Ah… That’s…” I was rendered speechless for a short while but then managed to find an answer for a short moment, “I think she does. Her mother is there and she can live an easy and peaceful life. Yuan Zhi once told me that those were the 2 things she coveted.”

“Is that really the case?”

“Eh?” I looked up at her when she questioned me again and saw that she was squinting at the floor.

“I may not be very close with Lord Xu Shu nor have I worked with her much but I do know 1 thing about her. That is, Lord Xu Shu is searching for something as well.”

“… Searching for something?”

“Un,” Liao Hua nodded, “Perhaps Lord Xu Shu was as you said and doesn’t have any lofty ambitions. Even so, she was still seeking her own path. In her eyes, I could still see the faint embers of a fire that was nearly extinguished.”

“Searching for her path huh…”

I thought back while keeping in mind what Liao Hua just said. Indeed, during the final battle, I could feel Yuan Zhi’s vigor and energy. There was no sign of fatigue at all from her, only bravery and intellect.

In comparison to her, Feng Xian seemed to be tired during the battle as she preferred peace after all.

But why is that? Why does a girl who just wants to be a petty official and fulfill her filial duties have such strength and zealousness?

“Does my lord still not understand?”

“…” I remained silent, feeling deeply troubled by our conversation.

“Hai,” Liao Hua gave an exasperated sigh as she looked at me, “Did Lord Xu Shu really want to leave?”

“Of course she–” I said but the words stopped short and I lowered my head and only continued after a long while, “Of course, she was forced to in some way but it really couldn’t have been helped.”

Her mother was in Xuchang after all. She had to go. And Liao Hua, stop looking at me like that. Nothing can change now.

“What Lord Xu Shu thinks is one thing. My lord, did you even try to get her to say back then?”

Wu! I really could not say anything in response as I did not even try.

“Even if I did, it would only have troubled her.”

“But did Lord Xu Shu hope that you would try to make her stay?”

“… I don’t know.”

“If you tried, what was the probability that she would have stayed?”

“… I don’t know.” I shook my head once more. I was honestly exhausted by now and I do not want to regret further now that nothing can be done.

“… I think I spoke too much.

This isn’t like me.” Liao Hua seemed to have detected that I was pleading with her to stop by now and shrugged before saluting and bowing to me, “I don’t really know Lord Xu Shu to begin with so please forgive me, my lord, for speaking out of turn before.”

“No, it’s fine.” I said as I bit my lips and shook my head, enduring the pain in my heart and doing my best to appear unfazed even though I knew it was impossible.