Vol 9 Chapter 168 (2/2)

“Don’t think about anything, Lu Xiang, just breathe in and out slowly. Don’t close your eyes, don’t sleep, you hear me?” I said as I sniffled and looked about to see if a horse had come, “Just hold on, it will get better soon. We have military doctors with us, one should be nearby!”

As I said so, I continued to press down on her wound and looked about but could not find the military doctor I spoke of. At this time, all I could feel was her warm blood gus.h.i.+ng out, which made me tremble as I breathed.

“It’s… Enough, Lord Li Dian.”

“Eh?” I was surprised to hear a warm tone from her and soon, I could feel a cold touch from my hands. I looked at her and saw that she was trying to squeeze out a smile as she set down her broken spear and held my hand.

“I never expected to leave this battle alive in the first place.”

“Lu Xiang!” I yelled but before I could continue, she shook her head.

“I’ve heard of Zhang Fei’s name before. If she was like this in the first battle, I would have died back then.” Lu Xiang said with clear eyes that looked up at me, “After big brother died, I’d felt it more or less that Fan city was where our lives would end.”

“…”

“And now is probably time for me to meet big brother.”

I could not say a word because I simply have no idea what sort of words I should say to comfort her. It would have been understandable if I was someone who is a pure warrior but I am not. I was a scholar to begin with and was well-learned but now, I cannot even say a single word to encourage and console someone. What kind of intellectual am I?

“Don’t be sad, Lord Li Dian. I’ve been thinking about things these few days.” Lu Xiang said, somehow detecting my feelings even though I had turned away, “Lord Guan Yu is right. There are no small fries or big fish on the battlefield, only the weak and the strong. The strong live and the weak die. This is the fate given to all by the heavens. There is nothing unreasonable about it. That big brother and I should die in this battle is fate and has nothing to do with our status.”

“I know, I know, but it’s best you speak less, Lu Xiang, and conserve your energy.” I said as I nodded, not daring to look at Lu Xiang for fear that my tear ducts which had not been in use for many years would not be able to hold back.

I really do not know why I am feeling sad now. Perhaps it’s because of the camaraderie from fighting together, perhaps it’s just the normal grieving over the loss of life or perhaps my emotions are running wild as the battle situation continues to worsen. Who knows?

“Lord Li Dian, I have to thank you.”

“Thank me for what?!” I frowned, “You saved me umpteen times, I should be thanking you.”

“Back then, if it were not for you pulling… The me who went berserk… I might have already died then.” Lu Xiang said as she shook her head, “It was you… You helped me to see big brother 1 last time… And I was able to help tend to his funeral and watch over him…”

“Don’t say anymore, don’t say anymore…”

But even so, even when her breathing began to get ragged, she continued on.

“Hu…” She exhaled after she finished and took a while before she began to softly continue, “Lastly, I have 1 thing I’d like Lord Li Dian… To help…”

My heart tightened when I heard what she said but I still steeled myself and looked at her as I nodded, “It’s alright. Go on, go on.”

“… Big brother and I… Are from the north. Now that big brother has died here in the south… He has been buried outside Fan city.” Lu Xiang began to choke up as she continued, “I hope that… After I die… I can be buried with big brother. It’s fine if… If I don’t return home…”

“Un un, I understand. I understand.” I vigorously nodded.

Just then, Lu Xiang relaxed her eyebrows and flashed me a cheerful smile as she spat out her last breath, “Big brother… I’m coming… To see you…”

When she finished, all that remained was a familiar smiling face. How can I possibly remain dour when faced with this smile?

“General! Your horse is here!”

“… Ah, I got it.” When the soldier came to me, I could not reply immediately and had to do my best not to choke up as I replied. I then got up with Lu Xiang in my arms.

She was now serene and at peace with her eyes closed.

I was now feeling a deep sense of guilt and towards her. If it were not for our strategic error, we would not have come to this and she would not have to surrender her life. But this is not the time to lament, I thought as I put her on the horse before gingerly mounting it.

This was not the horse I came here with but there is no choice now. I held the reins with 1 hand and what remained of my spear with the other as I looked ahead.

“My lord, when will this battle end?” The soldier who had brought my horse asked me this just as I was about to kick the horse and go to look for Cao Ren.

“… Very soon.” I did not think too much about it but still took a while to reply her, “Just listen closely for any further orders.”

“Yes!” She replied and returned into the fray without a word of complaint.

Let me see… I looked into the distance and found where Cao Ren should be before making my horse gallop in that direction.

“Lu Xiang…” I called out to her. She did not reply me but I felt that she could still hear me and decided to continue, “… Thank you for giving everything for this battle.”

When I finished, she still did not reply and all that filled my ears were the sounds of slaughter, horse hooves and the clash of steel against steel. But I could see it, Lu Xiang’s smile, which never faded and stayed on her face.

To those from the future, Lu Xiang’s name may just appear on the footnote of a history book or it may not even appear at all, but for me and all the other troops that fought alongside me, Lu Xiang’s name will follow us to our grave. The brave, energetic girl who loved her elder brother that gave me and many others so much.

Lu Xiang, and her elder brother, have given their all for this battle.

And that is enough.

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