Vol 9 Chapter 131 (2/2)

“Eh?” Yuan Zhi seemed very surprised at why I was still speaking and uttered a single syllable in surprise as her hands which held her bowl froze in mid-air.

“Yuan Zhi, did you know? When I first started out, I was even worse than you. I didn’t know anything, not even how to ride a horse or even how to write. I really was a good-for-nothing back then.” I said as I looked at Yuan Zhi, “However, I kept learning and practicing. Though I haven’t been putting in everything I got, I have learnt much since then.”

When I finished, Yuan Zhi seemed to be at a loss as to what to do and was not sure where I was getting at and merely lowered her head and sank into silence.

I saw a shadow of my former self in Yuan Zhi. But she is undoubtedly better than I was, be it her abilities or her luck. At the very least, she had someone to tell her how history should go. I had to feel about in the dark on my own.

“So do you still think that you’re good-for-nothing?”

“Yes.” Yuan Zhi said and nodded firmly.

“Yet Zi Long has told me that your swordsmans.h.i.+p is superb.”

“No… It’s just alright.” Yuan Zhi said as she turned away.

Just alright? It’s at the level where she could save Huang Zu and escape from tens of thousand of troops, cross swords with Zi Long without breaking a sweat and stop Zhou Cang in an instant.

Yet it was clear that Yuan Zhi was not being modest and she was indeed unimpressed in the least by her swordsmans.h.i.+p. And so, I grabbed her hand.

“Ah…” Yuan Zhi uttered a small cry in surprise as the bowl in her hands fell to the ground. All this is of no importance to me and I ignored her as I flipped her hand over and looked at her palm which was covered in hardened calluses that was unbefitting of a young girl’s palm.

Yes, this is why she thinks she is just alright.

“Yet why did you train so hard anyway?” I said as I looked at the calluses and then at a now timid Yuan Zhi, “Even though you think your abilities are insufficient, to the point where you act like you have completely given up on yourself; even though you are afraid of doing anything for fear of doing something wrong, why have you continued to practice your swordsmans.h.i.+p so fervently?”

“Wu…”

I heaved a sigh of relief at seeing her wince. To be honest, I have no idea why she has calluses on her hands. They could be a result from tilling the land as a villager for all I know. I just felt that it was strange that someone who did not want to do anything anymore would have such good swordsmans.h.i.+p. This is also a guess of mine, but she probably studies very hard as well. I suspected this ever since I saw many bamboo scrolls in her bags on the way to Xinye.

“You clearly aren’t the person you say you are.” I began to get agitated and grabbed her hands, “You say that it’s all for naught but haven’t you continued to work hard nonetheless?!”

“…” Yuan Zhi wordlessly wrenched her hands out of my grip and looked way. Well, if she is not going to talk, then I will.

“Yuan Zhi, you’re being too harsh on yourself.” I said more slowly and calmly this time, “But in reality, even though you continue to deny yourself, you hope that you can accomplish something that you can be proud of.”

“…” Yuan Zhi remained silent for a moment before she nodded, “Yes but I can’t do anything right.”

“Perfection doesn’t exist. Look at Huang Zhu, did you not save her with your own strength?” I said, thinking back to Huang Zu’s happy smile when she explained to me what had happened when we first met again after Jiangxia, “I don’t know what went on exactly but you saved her from tens of thousands of enemy troops.”

“Wu…” She winced again when I finished and frowned, “But that doesn’t prove anything.”

“Then let me ask you, was saving Huang Zu written in the things you needed to do?”

“No…”

I thought so.

Ha~ Hu… I sighed and took a deep breath before I continued.

“You might think that killing that miscreant back then was a mistake. Let me ask you this then,” I paused for a moment, “Do you think that saving Huang Zu was also a mistake?”

“Eh?” Yuan Zhi was stunned by what I said and then sank into thought.

Huang Zu should have died in the Battle of Jiangxia according to history. Yet Yuan Zhi saved her according to her own will and using her own power.

Yuan Zhi began to look troubled. I, of course, know what she’s being troubled over. She is unsure if she should rely on the crutch of history or her own powers. If she chooses to rely on external help, that would be the same as denying herself.

“I…” Yuan Zhi opened her mouth and began to speak but she closed her mouth again. She looked at me, and then lowered her head before shaking her head ever so slightly. Of it were not for her fringe that shook, I would not have realised that she was shaking her head.

As expected huh?

<script>