Vol 9 Chapter 95 (2/2)

They both nodded, got up and made to leave.

As for me, I continued to remain seated as thought about it further. I looked up at the 2 and saw that Lu Xiang seemed rather excited while Shen Pei was covering her mouth with both sleeves so I could not see her expression. She had not spoken up much during the discussions but I do not think that she had no opinions or ideas to offer.

“Lord Cao Ren, are you sure you want to do this?” I turned and asked Cao Ren when the other 2 left the room. I looked at her and she looked at me as well as she got up and sat down beside me.

“I know what you want to say.” Cao Ren said as she patted my shoulders and bit her lips, “… But as I said before, as the commanding officer of the vanguard, this is the only decision that is left to me.”

I understand. I said in my heart. I wanted to nod at least but I found that I was unable to do even that.

“But the risk is far too great.” I said as I shook my head. On strategic matters, I have always been more obstinate and will remain adamant about this unless she can convince me, “Saying this is not very nice, but moving out with all our troops is akin to an all-in gamble where we face the prospect of being completely wiped out. You as the commanding officer, and even us as generals, will not be able to bear the responsibility for this if it comes to pa.s.s.”

Of course, neither Cao Ren not I know that this is a good enough reason to persuade her.

“If we do get wiped out, I will take responsibility. Whether I have to face court martial or die in the battlefield, I will accept whatever judgement comes.” Cao Ren said with resolve and flashed a smile that seemed to be filled with the same kind of persistence my lord had, “But we must instigate an attack. I will not cede this.”

“Wu.” I gulped when I heard what she said. Cao Ren had become more and more agitated as she said so and spoke faster and faster with a higher tone that affected even me.

Must. To whom ‘must’ the attack be made? For my lord or for herself? Or perhaps it’s for her appointment, as the commanding officer of the vanguard.

“Instigate an attack…” I repeated and looked at Cao Ren’s face which was filled with resolve. The kind girl was now giving off an aura that was better suited for a martyr.

However, I could feel that she was different from when we first arrived in Fan city. For her elder sister– my lord, she seems to have steeled herself to entrust her fate to me, Shen Pei, Lu Xiang, Lu Kuang and the 30,000 troops to make some noise at least in the battle to come.

I believe that given her kind nature, Cao Ren only began to have the resolve to make this decision when she came to welcome us back after the battle. During this past week, she must have been readying her resolve and steeling herself, all for this very moment where she would make the decision.

“Lord Li Dian should be able to understand.” Cao Ren continued when she saw that I was looking at her wordlessly, “As the attacking side, attacking is the only option left to us.”

Ah… That’s right… As the vanguard of the attacking side, how could we possibly wait for the defending side to attack us?

I continued to look at her and finally saw through Cao Ren completely– This was a well-rounded general who could do anything for the sake of her elder sister. She was kind inside but could be merciless and cold when she needed to, to both herself and others. For someone like herself who is not as talented as her genius of an elder sister, adaptability was her core strength.

And so, as the commanding officer of the vanguard, she has decided to continue attacking even when she has lost the advantage. She can do so with the knowledge that even if she dies and her troops are wiped out, the main body will eventually arrive and succeed where she failed.

“Haa….” She sighed once more and seemed more relaxed as her colour seemed to return back to normal. She looked at me and then looked ahead, “Saying this isn’t very nice, but even if we do get wiped out, we would have helped elder sister to deplete 20,000 of Lord Yuan Shao’s troops.”

“Well, we have already depleted a fair amount of Lord Yuan Shao’s troops.” I added and nodded before sighing, “But if we keep this up, we will also deplete our own troops.”

“It’s still an overall gain for us.” Cao Ren said. Looks like she’s thinking of it from an overall perspective.

Well, if you insist on counting it like that, then by all means, I thought as I shrugged.

“Ah… But I never thought that I would have to make the resolve so early in this war.” Cao Ren said with a tinge of melancholy.

“You should have had the resolve from the very beginning, no?” I hurriedly added, fearing that the kind Cao Ren might have wavered.

“Haha, I guess you’re right. Sorry about that.” Cao Ren smiled again. I looked at her and felt that there was no way to change her mind.

At this time, for her, the risks she has to face is nothing compared to the urgency of fulfilling the purpose of the vanguard. And besides, she has made the resolve to bear responsibility for whatever might come out of this.

And so, that is why Cao Ren is here as the commanding officer of the vanguard.

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