Vol 9 Chapter 86 (1/2)
VOLUME 9 CHAPTER 86: DON’T TELL ME THIS IS A TEMPORARY RESPITE BEFORE THE NEXT BATTLE (1)
Li Dian POV
*Tatatata*
After resting by the road near a field of gra.s.s for a few hours, Cao Ren’s forces came and helped us along back to Fan city in the middle of the night.
At the head of our contingent is Cao Ren and 500 cavalry troops. The remnants of the punitive force, Lu Xiang and I followed behind. The spa.r.s.e sounds of boots behind was enough to make my heartbreak.
Our troops numbered close to 10,000 when we left but we were barely even 2,000 now. Leaving aside the 3,000-man generals, the thousand-man generals have now become officers of just several hundred men at the most. And both they and I know that we will not replenish their ranks as we do not have spare forces. They will have to recruit on their own accord or merge forces and accept a demotion.
But this is the way it is on the battlefield. Rewards such as promotions and t.i.tles for victories are accrued to the top generals but fault and blame for losses fall on the heads of these subordinate officers. Compared to us, these subordinate officers have had to work hard and acc.u.mulate merit and honour for years before reaching their positions. Even if we lose, we will not receive substantial and commensurate punishment.
Of course, while they are grieving, they will also be undoubtedly glad that they are alive. No matter how many t.i.tles you have and how high your official rank is, it’s no use when you are dead. As for me, I do not like it very much that I am still alive after suffering such a terrible defeat and incurring so many casualties. In fact, I am rather sad about this.
I know that this is a perennial issue of following the path of warriors but leaving that aside, this acute sense of having a debt that I have to my dead subordinates and comrades makes me wonder if I will get any retribution in the afterlife. Yue Jin always says that I think too much about this sort of thing but it cannot be helped.
“Lord Li Dian.”
“… Ah un?” I thought that it was Lu Xiang who called out to me when a voice came from the side but when I turned, I saw that it was Cao Ren.
“Are you alright?” Cao Ren asked very normally. But even a polite, white lie like ‘I’m fine’ was impossible for me to force out. Instead, I had to force myself to swallow a response like ‘How could I be alright’ back down my throat with great effort.
In the end, I merely sighed and shook my head wordlessly at Cao Ren before looking away. From when we met up till now, Cao Ren has not asked anything about the battle at all, nor has she admonished or berated me. All she said was a ‘It’s good that you came back’ when we first met up.
“I lost.” I said, before giving a summary of what happened and how I felt as I felt terrible about not being able to explain it to her. When she heard me speak, Cao Ren looked at me from the side and looked ahead as she smiled stiffly.
“I know. You already said this to me in the letter you sent.” Cao Ren said and then looked at me with kind eyes. But this did not decrease the guilt and regret I felt.
When she finished, she then s.h.i.+fted her gaze to Lu Xiang beside me, “Is Lu Xiang… Injured?”
“No.” I smiled when Cao Ren asked, “She’s just exhausted and fell asleep.”
Earlier in the day when she was chatting with me, she stopped talking all of a sudden. I thought that she had sustained an injury somewhere but when I heard her snoring, I found that she had just fell asleep.
“Hai… She is indeed a little too exhausted.” I nodded as I rubbed my shoulders, fully understanding why Lu Xiang is now li
ke this, “She is definitely more tired, both physically and mentally, than I am.”
“Because of… What happened to that one?” Cao Ren said vaguely though I know full well who she means.
“By the way, the body–”
“Has reached Fan city. Lord Shen Pei should be in the midst of the preparations for burial and all the a.s.sociated rites as well as other matters. When we return, we can commence the funeral first thing next morning.”
Yes, this sort of thing cannot be delayed. It is not nice to say this but under present circ.u.mstances, it’s best to hasten such matters where possible. Lu Xiang has to recover mentally as soon as possible as well. But for now, she should rest.
“But…” Cao Ren turned back and blanched when she saw the pathetic state of the punitive force and squeezed out a stiff smile, “It was a really terrible defeat huh…”
Yes, it is, is it no? A terrible defeat. I thought and the corners of my mouth turned upwards as I looked at Cao Ren but then sighed.