Vol 9 Chapter 35 (1/2)

VOLUME 9 CHAPTER 35: DON’T TELL ME THIS IS THE DEPLOYMENT TO XINYE (2)

Meng De POV

“Ben Chu, listen to me.” I said as I stepped towards her, “I went to that stream before and the currents are very strong. There are jagged rocks here and there and the gra.s.s grows deep in the river bed. If one should fall into the depths, they will sink very quickly.”

“… Meng De!” Ben Chu called out with a frown all of a sudden as though she were trying to scare me. But this was to no avail.

“The currents are less turbulent around midstream but the search parties found no sign of him there. Further downstream is a valley where one can only enter and there, the stream connects to the river. Even if one manages to stay alive till then, they will be exhausted and be unable to get to sh.o.r.e.”

“Meng, Meng De…” As she looked down at me, her eyebrows drooped and she backed up a few steps.

At this point, I was already beside her and looking at her face from up close. Only now did I find that, perhaps it was so from the very beginning, that her eyes were listless. As though she was lost.

I could not bear to keep looking at her as this was probably how I looked when I realised all this that I was telling her and took a few steps forward until my back was almost against hers.

Slowly, and cruelly, I delivered the final verdict to this girl who still held on to a delusion.

“Ben Chu–”

“Meng De! Don’t say–”

— Liu Bei Liu Xuan De is already dead.

I said these words slowly and carefully so that she would not mishear nor misunderstand me. And when I finally finished, I could feel an unbearable anxiety all over my body, which made me want to curl up and lie on the floor.

*Gudang*

A dull thud came from behind me. I did not need to turn back to confirm what had happened.

“… Xuan De… Is dead…” Ben Chu’s voice was very hollow, just like her eyes. She has probably been in this state for a few days now.

“… Wuu… *s.h.i.+ku*… *Ke* *Ke*…” Soon after, her voice began to crackle and tearful wails began to leak out from her lips. It seemed like the pride and dignity of a high n.o.ble such as herself is unable to s.h.i.+eld her from her sorrow.

“Ben Chu, that’s unsightly of you.” I said, without turning back. For now at least, I am willing to leave her some dignity. She probably does not want anyone to see what she looks like now.

Now that I think about it, if it were not for the shred of hope she had been clinging on to, she might have gone into a coma-like daze for longer than I did. Kekeke…

…

Kuh… Why? I thought I had forgotten.

But why, why am I still feeling sorrowful even now?

I balled up my fists so hard that my nails pierced the palms of my hands to force myself not to shed tears. The words I said to her just now, were also a final verdict to myself.

Perhaps I admire Ben Chu more than I thought. Because Ben Chu can indulge in some delusions and find a way to ease the pain.

But I am not Ben Chu, nor am I the Cao Meng De from before. Now, I must shatter any delusions I have as soon as possible, put aside my sorrow as soon as possible and act as fast as I can.

As I said so to myself, I closed my eyes to prevent myself from crying. I then slowly opened my eyes a moment later with my eyes a little wetter than before.

“Ben Chu, I know that your relations.h.i.+p with Xuan De is fairly good. I too had a good relations.h.i.+p with him.” I said, still not turning back, “Now that Xuan De is dead, shouldn’t you be pulling yourself together and w

orking harder?”

“… I am.” Ben Chu replied in a tearful voice, though it was much better than before. As expected of a high n.o.ble, she recovers quickly.

*Da* *Da* Her shoes clattered as she stood up.

Sensing that it was about time, I turned back and looked at her. Though her eyes were still red, she seemed calm now and her n.o.ble and majestic expression was back up.

“Pulling myself together is one thing.” She said in her usual fas.h.i.+on, “Someone has to avenge Xuan De.”

I turned slightly as I listened to her speak and looked at her from the side. Her eyebrows were completely locked. From my experience with her, I have never seen her this angry before.

“Who killed Xuan De?” Ben Chu asked.

“Cai Mao,” I honestly replied as I stared into Ben Chu’s eyes, “A subordinate of Liu Biao, Governor of Jing state.”