Vol 9 Chapter 25 (2/2)

As I looked at Wen Yuan’s back, I began to feel that she was probably the strongest among us. If I remember correctly, I seem to have heard that Wen Yuan was a minor official before joining Ding Yuan. She must have been through a lot more than the rest of us as she’s joined officialdom much earlier.

“Ah… L, Lord Guan Yu…”

Un? There really are a lot of people coming to look for me after today’s mess, I thought as I turned back tiredly.

“Eh? Yi– Lord Zhang Fei?” When I turned back and saw that it was Yi De, I hurriedly put on an energetic countenance, “What is it? Shouldn’t you be in the inner residence helping Lord Sun Qian and the rest?”

Because Yi De has lost her memories and become an administrative official, she no longer joins us on the frontlines. That said, her a.s.sistance has been invaluable in administration affairs.

However, if Yi De were like she were before she lost her memories, our battle from before would have been much easier. She has, after all, better techniques than I do.

“Un…” Yi De’s expression became complicated at my question, “The atmosphere in the inner residence is a little too pressurising for me.”

Is that so… Ah, she’s probably right.

I can more or less see what it’s like back there and nodded instinctively. Because I fully understood what she meant, I could not even put on a smile to rea.s.sure her. When I turned to look at her, I saw that her expression had not changed, which meant that she had more to say.

“Lord Zhang Fei, is there anything you wish to discuss with me?” I asked as I patted the stone chair beside me where Wen Yuan was sitting before.

“Ah… Un.” She was hesitant about it but she eventually nodded and sat down beside me. I’m still not used to how calm she looks and how proper her posture is but I’m dealing with it a lot better than before.

“When I heard that you were all engaged in battle before, I felt a little guilty.”

“Un? Guilty?” I was surprised at what she said and it took me a moment before I understood what she was thinking about, “Did you feel a little disappointed and sad that you weren’t able to help?” I hazarded a guess and did my best to seem as calm as possible as I did so.

Yi De’s shoulders shuddered when she heard what I said and she nodded. Looks like she knows what kind of person she originally was.

“I’ve been with everyone for a while now and have been able to piece together what kind of person I originally was.” Yi De said, tightening her grip on her thigh as she said so, “I’ve since began to feel that my transformation has been a great burden to everyone… If I hadn’t lost my memories, perhaps–”

“That’s enough.”

She got more and more agitated as she said so, so I reached out and placed a finger on her lips. She was surprised and stopped talking.

“You don’t need to blame yourself. None of the fault with what has transpired lies with you.” I shook my head, “If anyone is to blame, it’s us who didn’t manage to find you earlier.”

I’m not like big brother. This is all I can say. These few sentences have completely exhausted my vocabulary and I am unable to squeeze out more words to comfort her with.

“Ah… In any case, we will wait for you to regain your memories. It will come when it comes.”

I immediately regretted saying these words when I finished and felt a little shameful and hurriedly removed my hand from her lips and turned away so she would not see my flushed cheeks.

“… I understand, Lord Guan Yu.” She said softly. Seems like she’s convinced as she does not seem to be as troubled as before from her voice.

“But there is something else of which I am more concerned about.”

“Un, un? What is it?”

I got nervous and stuttered. When I looked up at her, I saw that though she looked less troubled, she was still frowning. I can more or less guess what she wants to say. Everyone else has the same expression on in this period after all.

“Yi– Lord Zhang Fei, if what is troubling you related to big brother, then I feel that your worry is misplaced.”

“Eh?” Yi De was surprised at what I said. She probably never expected for me to guess so accurately what she was thinking.

“There’s no need to be so surprised. Whatever you’re thinking about is written all over your face.” I smiled a little stiffly, “From the Yellow Turban Rebellion till now, big brother has been through a mult.i.tude of ordeals, both big and small, and survived them all. He won’t be defeated at the very end by a little river.”

When I finished, I looked into Yi De’s eyes. I noticed that her eyes were a little red and there were dome tear streaks down her cheeks. She must have been crying these past few days.

It might not be very nice to say this but I’m relieved by this. This means that the old Yi De is somewhere inside and crying for big brother. When I thought about this, I smiled, “So Lord Zhang Fei, don’t worry too much.”

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