Vol 9 Chapter 20 (2/2)
The thought that she might be faking this flashed in my head but it was just a thought and I very quickly threw it out. I hate Liu Cong but her respect for father is, without a doubt, no less than mine.
“While I’m recovering, you must continue your studies. Try to speak with and learn from Kuai Liang and Kuai Yue from time to time.” As he said so, father took a few deep breaths while Liu Cong nodded profusely. After a while, father continued, “If they are willing, you may a.s.sist them in the administration of Xiangyang. The both of them will be swamped with work.”
“Ah, yes! Your daughter will remember this!” Liu Cong said with resolve, unlike how timid she usually was.
… No, no, no, why am I feeling impressed? I seem to be getting into dangerous territory here. Why is it that I cannot bring myself to hate that fellow now?
…
Just as I was sinking into my thoughts, father suddenly spoke up, “Qi’er…”
“Father, what do you have to say?” I hurriedly replied and went up, all the while grasping father’s hand.
“Qi’er, father has wronged you.”
“…Eh?”
Without any warning at all, father’s sudden words gave me a shock. In an instant, I found it difficult to breathe and it took me several seconds to realise that father was apologising to me. I frowned and looked at father, who happened to be slowly opening his eyes as well.
Usually, father’s eyes would be filled with a domineering gleam that made feel distant from him. But now, father’s eyes, rather than a Governor or a royal, looked more like those of a father, a father who has aged a fair bit.
“Father has wronged you…” Father repeated himself once more.
“… F, father, what do you mean by this…” I stuttered as I tried to suppress various impulses and shook my head profusely.
“You’ve been made to suffer all these years.” Father said, “Back when your mother died, I shouldn’t have left you alone. Back then, I shouldn’t have let you leave me and join the army.”
“Un, un.” I nodded.
“Even though I did all that, I’ve always hoped… Always hoped that you know that your father, deep down inside, loves you…”
“Un, un.” I continued to nod and held father’s hand tighter.
Ah… I really am useless huh.
Even though I’m in front of father, and the detested Liu Cong os beside me, even though father is speaking to me…
Why am I crying?
I have been waiting for these words, for so long…
“Perhaps your father’s methods were too harsh…”
“… No!” I hurriedly shook my head and said, “I now know that as royalty, this is the way it was meant to be!”
“Ah… Royalty huh?”
Eh? Father sighed at the word “royalty”. Usually, father would be invigorated at the mention of royalty. At the very least, he would smile proudly. But yet, father had a sorrowful expression on.
I do not understand why.
“… Father?”
“Yes, I am royalty.” Just as I asked him, father spoke out, as though he were speaking to himself as he gave a self-deprecating smile, “I had actually prepared rooms for you both to live with me. But… As expected, this wasn’t something I should, or perhaps, could do.”
So that’s why…
…
I looked up and spoke to father, “… Father, if you let me move in, I will definitely–”
At the same time, Liu Cong got up and said, “I too–”
But in the next instant, father only shook his head.
“No, no need for that.” Father sighed, “I am royalty and so are you. Father and daughter relations should not be so intimate…”
As father spoke, his voice diminished and the gleam in his eyes darkened.
When I saw this, I silently berated myself inside on what I said at such an inappropriate time. Now that father wishes to be more intimate with me, I am more than happy to do so as well.
He is my only father after all, and the father that I respect deeply.
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