Vol 4 Chapter 17 (1/2)

Volume 4 Chapter 17: Don’t tell me this is a reunion (2)

I slowly got up, and leaned against the bed whilst taking care not to lie on my wound. I s.h.i.+fted my gaze from the ceiling to the wooden door, and then to the window.

Looking outside, I saw that the sky was already dark, even though it was still bright out when I just awoke. Looks like it has been a full day since I’ve been routed by Meng De.

I wonder if Meng De has sent any men to search for my whereabouts, and how Yun Chang and Yi De are right now.

Try as I might, I couldn’t stop thinking about these problems.

“Some wine?” Just then, Zi Long, who had taken off her plate and was now wearing a set of clean white clothing, came over with 2 jugs of wine and gestured for me to take 1, “One should drink when one is wounded.”

“Ah, oh, thanks.” Wounded huh… Indeed, I have been wounded quite badly. Both physically and emotionally.

I took a swig as I received the jug. This wine was not too strong and rather sweet unlike wine in Xuchang.

Just like in Zhuo county.

“Zi Long, I…”

“No need to say anything, Xuan De. From the rumours floating in the city, I more or less understand what happened.” She pressed her finger softly on my lips as she smiled kindly, “Losing under those circ.u.mstances is something that can’t be helped and you are not to blame whatsoever. There was no strategy or tactic that would have allowed you to overcome the numerical disadvantage.”

Looks like Zi Long’s tongue is as sharp as always. I know she’s trying to comfort me but they cut to the bone. Nevertheless, I can’t deny what she said.

“… Speaking of which, why is Zi Long here? Shouldn’t you be in Beiping with Bo Gui?”

“Ah… That huh.” Zi Long replied and took a sip as she looked out the window before continuing, “I’ve buried my lord outside Beiping city.”

Eh?

“… Un, that’s how it is.” Zi Long added as she played with the jug in her hands.

It was obvious that she was putting on a show of nonchalance because of my expression of disbelief.

Bo Gui is dead? Just like that? I know what Gongsun Zan’s fate was in history but I didn’t think she would really…

Hehehe… It only seemed like yesterday that she gave me that silly laugh.

“… How did Bo Gui…”

“My lord and Yuan Shao had a disagreement and it eventually got to the stage where Beiping city was in danger. My lord could have escaped with me but she chose to stay and protect her younger siblings who were too young to survive a harsh escape.” She said calmly, and took another sip, “The disparity in strength was too great and the outcome was just as predicted.”

I wasn’t at the scene, nor have I heard all the details, but I can clearly see the girl with the silly smile and an upright heart in her last moments. Outnumbered she may have been, she still greeted death resolutely.

She died a death fitting of her status as a hero belonging to this era.

But why is it, why can’t I cry for Bo Gui even though she’s my good friend and even though I feel so sad? Why can’t I think of vengeance for her?

Have I grown numb to this era? Or have I accepted the inevitability of death for all?

I really am disgusted at how I’ve become.

“Zi Long doesn’t seem sad at all.” I said as I looked at Zi Long, who was drinking calmly, and asked, “You didn’t stay with Bo Gui until the very end?”

“Un, I didn’t. If it were up to me, I would never have let me lord die there and then.”

“That’s right.” I smiled with difficulty.

“But my lord chose to stay because the city were her roots. She felt that if she lost Beiping city and her family there, she would have lost everything.” Zi Long said as she placed the jug down on the table and sat on the other side of the bed, “I respect her choice. But really, even until the very end, it seems like my lord isn’t cut out for greater things after all.”

Zi Long laughed stiffly after she finished.

…