Vol 3 Chapter 16 (2/2)
“You should kill her. Dian Wei is dead and anything less than Zhang Xiu’s death will not appease the other generals.” Feng Xiao said as she continued to look ahead and rested her head on the window, looking like she was about to sleep.
It was still early in the morning and the sun had barely begun to rise. Most of the residents of the city were still asleep and there were few on the streets. Feng Xiao has a weak const.i.tution to begin with so her tiredness is understandable.
“Is that really what you think?” I smiled thinly as I flipped the question back on Feng Xiao.
“What does my lord mean?” Feng Xiao’s neck bent down the other war and leaned on my shoulder.
“Zhang Xiu cannot be killed.” I said as I calmly shut my eyes, “I will definitely face Ben Chu on the battlefield eventually. Zhang Xiu has a large army and ample supplies. Both I and Ben Chu need her. Now that she is here, I cannot let go of this opportunity.”
After I finished, Feng Xiao gave a wry smile. “So cold-blooded, my lord.”
“I’m just saying the correct answer you are looking for.” I said as I supported my chin with my hand and looked outside the window in a daze.
Xuchang was typically a bustling city but it was very quiet at this time. Almost as if it were mourning Dian Wei.
I wanted to give Dian Wei a grand funeral but this was not possible. Though Dian Wei was a general, her rank was only that of a Colonel.
(TL: It’s just like in present times. Military rank and appointment differs. Though their rank may be low, junior officers may get prestigious appointments.)
Her rank was too low and I will be unable to give her a funeral befitting of a general. If I do it anyway, I will likely be the subject of scorn and gossip in the Imperial Court.
And being the subject of gossip and scorn is extremely troublesome.
(TL: You might think this is ridiculous. But Cao Cao is essentially ruling by “fear” – If she loses that fear, she will lose control of the Imperial Court. Apart from a strong core of loyalists, most of the officials are not loyal to Cao Cao.)
The carriage master gave the order to the horse and th carriage stopped. The journey from my mansion to the prison is not a short one, but this particular trip seems to be the fastest.
“My lord, you must always remember,” Just as I was about to alight, Feng Xiao called out to me softly, “You are the lord.”
“…” I only replied her with a smile. I’d understood the logic behind this reasoning ever since I began raising an army in Chen Liu after all.
Feng Xiao did not alight with me, and she remained sitting quietly on the carriage. As she was looking out of the window, I could not see what her expression is like now.
“Let go of me!”
Just as I alighted, Xu Chu’s delicate wail rang out. The prison was very large but it was clear that her voice came from inside.
An ominous feeling surged in my heart as I hurriedly walked in with 2 attendants.
“Oi! Xu Chu, what do you think you’re doing?!” The moment I walked in, I saw the furious figure of Xu Chu as expected. She held a large axe in her hands and was charging at Zhang Xiu. It was a good thing that Yuan Rang and Miao Cai were there to stop her, and they held her back as she slashed about violently, leaving deep cuts in the stone walls but unable to reach Zhang Xiu.
“Hu Chi!”
“Ah! My lord… My lord!” She only realised I was here when I called her by her courtesy name and she flung aside Yuan Rang and Miao Cai before running to me. Her face had already become a mess from crying, “Please, please avenge xiao E! Kill Zhang Xiu for me!”
“…” She tugged at my sleeve and had a look of such sheer, utter despair that I couldn’t even muster a smile.
“Why… Why did she have to die?” Xu Chu hung her head low as she sank to her knees and muttered tearfully, “I successfully finished the mission of protecting our lord and was hoping to be praised by xiao E. Even though I tried so hard… But… Why…”
“… I understand how you feel,” I rubbed Hu Chi’s forehead delicately, “But this is a time of war and chaos, death is commonplace.”
“But why did it have to be xiao E! Why wasn’t it this despicable Zhang Xiu instead!” She roared out in such a sonorous voice that my heart trembled with my ears and I couldn’t help but to frown. I looked over at Yuan Rang and Miao Cai and saw that they did not dare look over here and hung their heads low as they clenched their teeth.
I looked over to Zhang Xiu who was sitting on the side. She was sitting calmly in a seiza position. But that’s to be expected as she has no reason to feel guilt after all.
“… I understand what everyone thinks.” I adjusted my feelings and delivered the decision I intended to make from the very beginning, “But Zhang Xiu cannot be killed. Not now at least.”
“My lord!”
“Hu Chi, don’t say anymore…” I shrugged off Hu Chi’s hands and turned around before continuing in a calmer and more level voice, “I am adamant on this. Don’t… Ah, don’t bring this up again.”
As I said so, I clenched my teeth as I walked briskly out of the prison, ignoring the pleas to stay from the 3 behind me.
I hate myself. Because I still couldn’t hold back from choking on the words I just said.
To avoid being laughed at by Feng Xiao, I decided to walk back to my mansion since it was still not dark out.
“Ah… I forgot to speak with Zhang Xiu.” When I reached my room, I tapped my head as I remembered the business I forgot to attend to. I shook my head and sat down on my bed.
It’s because of things like this that I’m unwilling to get too close with everyone.
It gets in the way of doing things.
*Dong* *Dong* *Dong* 3 knocks sounded on the door.
Who could it be at this time?
“Enter.” I tidied up my clothing and opened my eyes at the figure who just entered, “Un? It’s Xu Huang huh.”
(TL: New character, has an ill.u.s.tration.)
“My lord, I have returned.” She walked over as she said so and took out a letter, “Here.”
“Un? Thi is…” I received the letter with my hands as I inquired her.
“It’s Dian Wei’s personal combat report.”
My hands stiffened for a moment before taking the letter.
“Is that so…” I looked at the silk in my hands and could see that the writing was indeed that of Dian Wei’s.
She didn’t know how to write at first but she worked hard, and her writings seemed to have improved tremendously recently.
I felt sorrowful once more as I thought of this.
“I’ll be excusing myself.” Xu Huang said and bowed before exiting my room.
If it’s one good thing about Xu Huang, it’s that she never asks, hears or does what she doesn’t need to. This, and her tactfulness, are unique qualities amongst all my warrior generals.
Only after she left did I began to read the silk tissue.
Dian Wei began the report directly about the campaign and the goings-on. I’d thought that the long report would be entirely about military affairs but from the second page, the content became something like that from a diary.
[On the campaign, I’ll stop here for now. For some reason, I have an awful lot of things that I would usually be hesitant to tell my lord which I want to communicate here.
Please allow me to share some of my personal thoughts here today.
I don’t know if my lord knows, but I killed a local squire and I joined the army thereafter when I left my village. I’d wanted to accomplish something for myself then but I didn’t expect that the world had become so thoroughly chaotic and rotten.
Those with talent are unable to serve while those without hold the reins of power. I don’t dare to think too much of myself, but I wish to contribute and, at the very least, see the Central Plains become peaceful once more.
I’d sunk into despair and arrived at the conclusion that perhaps dying on the battlefield wouldn’t be such a bad thing.
And it was then that I came to serve you, my lord, under the recommendation of General Xiahou Dun.
Does my lord still remember? What happened when I first came to your tent.
It’s shameful to say this but I’m not too smart and so I can’t really remember what happened then. Only the hand which my lord reached out to me, for which I am eternally grateful, is something I will always remember.
In that instant, I knew. That my lord had grasped my destiny. And I also believe that my lord can definitely change the world.
Just like how my lord changed me.
And though my lord never mentions it, I still believe my lord is pus.h.i.+ng yourself too hard. My lord takes on everything and keeps it to yourself. Though my lord has emerged victorious time after time, it truly pains me to see your weak smile.
Perhaps, my lord should rely on us a little more. What we may be able to do may be limited, but at the very least, we can share your worries. I’m bad with words and I’m not very smart but I can listen to your complaints at least.
I am, after all, your E Lai.
Aiya, I’m starting to run out of things to write. I’ll be stopping here for now then.
As for the rest, I’ll be looking forward to speaking with you in person when I return to Xuchang.]
She signed off the letter not with Dian Wei, but with E Lai.
That was all there was to the letter, and I read it from beginning to end once more before folding the silk tissue.
“E Lai oh E Lai, your words are really untimely huh…” I laughed with a sigh as I looked at the silk tissue.
— My lord, though I’ve left Zhong Kang behind, please be extra careful in this period when I’m not around.
Just then, I recalled the last words Dian Wei left me with.
“… Cheng Yu? Xun Yu?” I called out twice, and only felt a.s.sured after n.o.body answered.
And finally, I cried.
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