Part 6 (1/2)
”I don't think so.”
Sarah raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.
”Mother never talked about her,” Meredith said defensively.
”Did you two ever talk about anything?”
”No, I guess we didn't. Not really. She was always busy. And even when she was home, she wasn't. Not really. Not in spirit.” Pain and anger filled her again. Why had her mother waited until now to confide in her? How could her mother care so much about the child she'd given up and care so little about the one she'd kept? She swallowed past the lump in her throat. It was too late. Everything was too late. Too late to realize her mother 'had' loved, that she had suffered. Too late to discover that her mother 'did' feel emotion and maybe felt some for the daughter she 'had' raised.
Or had the lack of emotion been because she'd lost the daughter by a man she loved and was burdened with the one by the man she hated? That thought was excruciating.
She was numb. She realized she had been numb ever since her mother had revealed her secret. The numbness had cloaked an anger so deep she could barely contain it. She looked at her hands and saw that they shook.
She willed them to still.
Sarah looked away.
Meredith changed the subject. It was still too raw. ”You've heard nothing from Nan?”
”Nope. I think no news is good news.”
Meredith agreed. The longer the time pa.s.sed after a court order without contact, the better. Then she recalled the odd encounter in the courtroom. ”Do you remember Gage Gaynor? He was a witness in a cop murder case I helped try.”
”He's hard to forget. Big. Brooding. Honest, I think.”
Meredith hadn't quite made up her mind about that yet. There had been rumors. Perhaps because he'd testified against a fellow cop. Or perhaps it was because of his cool green eyes that had been so difficult to read or the odd warm feelings he'd aroused in her. She hadn't trusted them.
”He was at the hearing.”
Sarah looked surprised. ”Did he say why?”
”Just that it was official business. He got in a dig about L.L. and Tommy's case.”
”They were just kids.”
”According to him, they were lowlifes unfit for a second chance.”
”They were carrying drugs for a pittance. I think they learned their lesson.” Despite having worked for the DA, Sarah was the original bleeding heart. It was at her behest that Meredith had taken the case. She'd been moving more and more toward family law and farther away from criminal practice.
The phone rang, but it stopped suddenly, and she knew Becky must have come into the office.
Meredith went to the door and looked out. Becky gave her a short wave and silently mouthed to her, ”Are you here?”
”Who is it?” she mouthed back.
”A Detective Gaynor.”
”Speak of the devil,” Sarah muttered.
For a moment, Meredith thought she must have conjured him. It was an unwelcome thought. But she nodded and went into her office. She picked up her phone. ”Detective?”
”I wondered whether Mrs. Fuller has had any more problems.”
”No. Why?”
”He had a warning. If he goes near her, let me know.”
”Thank you. I'll pa.s.s that on to Nan.” She paused. ”Will there be departmental charges?”
”No.”
”May I ask why?”
”If he were fired, who would he blame?”
She was silent for a moment. He was right. A man with nothing to lose could be very dangerous. ”And if he attacks someone else?”
”As far as we know, he hasn't. No complaints. He has a good record.”
”Except for beating his wife.”
”Look, Ms. Rawson, I don't like it any more than you do, but he'll be watched carefully now. One wrong step and he's out. He knows that. But I think he would be far more dangerous to your client if he lost his job. He wouldn't be able to find another in law enforcement. He would go after her for ruining his life.”
”You sound as if you know that firsthand,” she said.
”I do. A lady I liked a lot was killed that way.”
She heard, or thought she heard, emotion in his voice. ”Is that why you were in the courtroom?”
”I was the one who recommended that he not contest the charges, or the divorce. I told him I'd better not be wrong in not pressing for departmental action. If he so much as calls Nan, let me know.”
”Thank you,” she said. ”You could have told me that then.”
”Yep,” he said cheerfully.
”Why didn't you?”
”Because you were glaring at me.”
She probably had been. She had been so sure he was there to support Fuller.
”Just thought you should know.” He hung up.
She stared thoughtfully at the phone in her hand. One question answered.
She didn't think she would be as lucky on the others.