Part 19 (1/2)

”No, sir, nothing but justice,” said Elsworthy, hoa.r.s.ely, as he backed out of the room. Notwithstanding this statement, it was with very unsatisfactory sensations that Mr Morgan went up-stairs. He felt somehow as if the justice which Elsworthy demanded, and which he himself had solemnly declared to be pursuing the Curate of St Roque's, was wonderfully like revenge. ”All punishment must be more or less vindictive,” he said to himself as he went up-stairs; but that fact did not make him more comfortable as he went into his wife's drawing-room, where he felt more like a conspirator and a.s.sa.s.sin than an English Rector in broad daylight, without a mystery near him, had any right to feel. This sensation confused Mr Morgan much, and made him more peremptory in his manner than ever. As for Mr Proctor, who was only a spectator, and felt himself on a certain critical eminence, the suggestion that occurred to his mind was, that he had come in at the end of a quarrel, and that the conjugal firmament was still in a state of disturbance: which idea acted upon some private projects in the hidden mind of the Fellow of All-Souls, and produced a state of feeling little more satisfactory than that of the Rector of Carlingford.

”I hope Mr Proctor is going to stay with us for a day or two,” said Mrs Morgan. ”I was just saying it must look like coming home to come to the house he used to live in, and which was even furnished to his own taste,” said the Rector's wife, shooting a little arrow at the late Rector, of which that good man was serenely unconscious. All this time, while they had been talking, Mrs Morgan had scarcely been able to keep from asking who could possibly have suggested such a carpet. Mr Proctor's chair was placed on the top of one of the big bouquets, which expanded its large foliage round him with more than Eastern prodigality--but he was so little conscious of any culpability of his own in the matter, that he had referred his indignant hostess to one of the leaves as an ill.u.s.tration of the kind of diaper introduced into the new window which had lately been put up in the chapel of All-Souls. ”A naturalistic treatment, you know,” said Mr Proctor, with the utmost serenity; ”and some people objected to it,” added the unsuspicious man.

”I should have objected very strongly,” said Mrs Morgan, with a little flush. ”If you call that naturalistic treatment, I consider it perfectly out of place in decoration--of every kind--” Mr Proctor happened to be looking at her at the moment, and it suddenly occurred to him that Miss Wodehouse never got red in that uncomfortable way, which was the only conclusion he drew from the circ.u.mstance, having long ago forgotten that any connection had ever existed between himself and the carpet on the drawing-room in Carlingford Rectory. He addressed his next observation to Mr Morgan, who had just come in.

”I saw Mr Wodehouse's death in the 'Times,'” said Mr Proctor, ”and I thought the poor young ladies might feel--at least they might think it a respect--or, at all events, it would be a satisfaction to one's self,” said the late Rector, who had got into a mire of explanation.

”Though he was far from being a young man, yet having a young daughter like Miss Lucy--”

”Poor Lucy!” said Mr Morgan. ”I hope that wretched fellow, young Wentworth”--and here the Rector came to a dead stop, and felt that he had brought the subject most to be avoided head and shoulders into the conversation, as was natural to an embarra.s.sed man. The consequence was that he got angry, as might have been expected. ”My dear, you must not look at me as you do. I have just been hearing all the evidence.

No unbia.s.sed mind could possibly come to any other decision,” said Mr Morgan, with exasperation. Now that he had committed himself, he thought it was much the best thing to go in for it wholly, without half measures, which was certainly the most straightforward way.

”What has happened to Wentworth?” said Mr Proctor. ”He is a young man for whom I have a great regard. Though he is so much younger than I am, he taught me some lessons while I was in Carlingford which I shall never forget. If he is in any trouble that I can help him in, I shall be very glad to do it, both for his sake and for--” Mr Proctor slurred over the end of his sentence a little, and the others were occupied with their own difficulties, and did not take very much notice--for it was difficult to state fully the nature and extent of Mr Wentworth's enormities after such a declaration of friends.h.i.+p. ”I met him on my way here,” said the Fellow of All-Souls, ”not looking quite as he used to do. I supposed it might be Mr Wodehouse's death, perhaps.” All Mr Proctor's thoughts ran in that channel of Mr Wodehouse's death, which, after all, though sad enough, was not so great an event to the community in general as the late Rector seemed to suppose.

It was Mrs Morgan at length who took heart to explain to Mr Proctor the real state of affairs. ”He has been a very good clergyman for five years,” said Mrs Morgan; ”he might behave foolishly, you know, about Wharfside, but then that was not his fault so much as the fault of the Rector's predecessors. I am sure I beg your pardon, Mr Proctor--I did not mean that you were to blame,” said the Rector's wife; ”but, notwithstanding all the work he has done, and the consistent life he has led, there is n.o.body in Carlingford who is not quite ready to believe that he has run away with Rosa Elsworthy--a common little girl without any education, or a single idea in her head. I suppose she is what you would call pretty,” said the indignant woman. ”Everybody is just as ready to believe that he is guilty as if he were a stranger or a bad character.” Mrs Morgan stopped in an abrupt manner, because her quick eyes perceived a glance exchanged between the two gentlemen. Mr Proctor had seen a good deal of the world in his day, as he was fond of saying now and then to his intimate friends: and he had learned at the university and other places that a girl who is ”what you would call pretty,” counts for a great deal in the history of a young man, whether she has any ideas in her head or not. He did not, any more than the people of Carlingford, p.r.o.nounce at once on _a priori_ evidence that Mr Wentworth must be innocent. The Curate's ”consistent life” did not go for much in the opinion of the middle-aged Fellow of All-Souls, any more than of the less dignified populace. He said, ”Dear me, dear me!” in a most perplexed and distressed tone, while Mrs Morgan kept looking at him; and looked very much as if he were tempted to break forth into lamentations over human nature, as Mr Morgan himself had done.

”I wonder what the Miss Wodehouses think of it,” he said at last. ”One would do a great deal to keep them from hearing such a thing; but I wonder how they are feeling about it,” said Mr Proctor--and clearly declined to discuss the matter with Mrs Morgan, who was counsel for the defence. When the Rector's wife went to her own room to dress for dinner, it is very true that she had a good cry over her cup of tea.

She was not only disappointed, but exasperated, in that impatient feminine nature of hers. Perhaps if she had been less sensitive, she would have had less of that redness in her face which was so great a trouble to Mrs Morgan. These two slow middle-aged men, without any intuitions, who were coming lumbering after her through all kind of muddles of evidence and argument, exasperated the more rapid woman. To be sure, they understood Greek plays a great deal better than she did; but she was penetrated with the liveliest impatience of their dulness all the same. Mrs Morgan, however, like most people who are in advance of their age, felt her utter impotence against that blank wall of dull resistance. She could not make them see into the heart of things as she did. She had to wait until they had attacked the question in the orthodox way of siege, and made gradual entrance by dint of hard labour. All she could do to console herself was, to shed certain hot tears of indignation and annoyance over her tea, which, however, was excellent tea, and did her good. Perhaps it was to show her sense of superiority, and that she did not feel herself vanquished, that, after that, she put on her new dress, which was very much too nice to be wasted upon Mr Proctor. As for Mr Leeson, who came in as usual just in time for dinner, having heard of Mr Proctor's arrival, she treated him with a blandness which alarmed the Curate. ”I quite expected you, for we have the All-Souls pudding to-day,” said the Rector's wife, and she smiled a smile which would have struck awe into the soul of any curate that ever was known in Carlingford.

CHAPTER x.x.xII.

It was the afternoon of the same day on which Mr Proctor arrived in Carlingford that Mr Wentworth received the little note from Miss Wodehouse which was so great a consolation to the Perpetual Curate. By that time he had begun to experience humiliations more hard to bear than anything he had yet known. He had received constrained greetings from several of his most cordial friends; his people in the district, all but Tom Burrows, looked askance upon him; and Dr Marjoribanks, who had never taken kindly to the young Anglican, had met him with satirical remarks in his dry Scotch fas.h.i.+on, which were intolerable to the Curate. In these circ.u.mstances, it was balm to his soul to have his sympathy once more appealed to, and by those who were nearest to his heart. The next day was that appointed for Mr Wodehouse's funeral, to which Mr Wentworth had been looking forward with a little excitement--wondering, with indignant misery, whether the covert insults he was getting used to would be repeated even over his old friend's grave. It was while this was in his mind that he received Miss Wodehouse's little note. It was very hurriedly written, on the terrible black-edged paper which, to such a simple soul as Miss Wodehouse, it was a kind of comfort to use in the moment of calamity. ”Dear Mr Wentworth,” it said, ”I am in great difficulty, and don't know what to do: come, I beg of you, and tell me what is best. My dear Lucy insists upon going to-morrow, and I can't cross her when her heart is breaking, and I don't know what to do.

Please to come, if it were only for a moment. Dear, dear papa, and all of us, have always had such confidence in you!” Mr Wentworth was seated, very disconsolate, in his study when this appeal came to him: he was rather sick of the world and most things in it; a sense of wrong eclipsed the suns.h.i.+ne for the moment, and obscured the skies; but it was comforting to be appealed to--to have his a.s.sistance and his protection sought once more. He took his hat immediately and went up the sunny road, on which there was scarcely a pa.s.senger visible, to the closed-up house, which stood so gloomy and irresponsive in the suns.h.i.+ne. Mr Wodehouse had not been a man likely to attract any profound love in his lifetime, or sense of loss when he was gone; but yet it was possible to think, with the kindly, half-conscious delusion of nature, that had _he_ been living, he would have known better; and the Curate went into the darkened drawing-room, where all the shutters were closed, except those of the little window in the corner, where Lucy's work-table stood, and where a little m.u.f.fled suns.h.i.+ne stole in through the blind. Everything was in terribly good order in the room. The two sisters had been living in their own apartments, taking their forlorn meals in the little parlour which communicated with their sleeping chambers, during this week of darkness; and n.o.body had come into the drawing-room except the stealthy housemaid, who contemplated herself and her new mourning for an hour at a stretch in the great mirror without any interruption, while she made ”tidy” the furniture which n.o.body now disturbed. Into this sombre apartment Miss Wodehouse came gliding, like a gentle ghost, in her black gown. She too, like John and the housemaid and everybody about, walked and talked under her breath. There was now no man in the house ent.i.tled to disturb those proprieties with which a female household naturally hedges round all the great incidents of life; and the affairs of the family were all carried on in a whisper, in accordance with the solemnity of the occasion--a circ.u.mstance which had naturally called the ghost of a smile to the Curate's countenance as he followed John up-stairs. Miss Wodehouse herself, though she was pale, and spent half her time, poor soul! in weeping, and had, besides, living enc.u.mbrances to trouble her helpless path, did not look amiss in her black gown. She came in gliding without any noise, but with a little expectation in her gentle countenance. She was one of the people whom experience never makes any wiser; and she could not help hoping to be delivered from her troubles this time, as so often before, as soon as she should have transferred them to somebody else's shoulders, and taken ”advice.”

”Lucy has made up her mind that we are to go to-morrow,” said Miss Wodehouse, drying her tears. ”It was not the custom in my young days, Mr Wentworth, and I am sure I don't know what to say; but I can't bear to cross her, now that she has n.o.body but me. She was always the best child in the world,” said the poor lady--”far more comfort to poor dear papa than I ever could be; but to hear her talk you would think that she had never done anything. And oh, Mr Wentworth, if that was all I should not mind; but we have always kept things a secret from her; and now I have had a letter, and I don't know what it is possible to do.”

”A letter from your brother?” asked Mr Wentworth, eagerly.

”From Tom,” said the elder sister; ”poor, poor Tom! I am sure papa forgave him at the last, though he did not say anything. Oh, Mr Wentworth, he was such a nice boy once; and if Lucy only knew, and I could summon up the courage to tell her, and he would change his ways, as he promised--don't think me fickle or changeable, or look as if I didn't know my own mind,” cried poor Miss Wodehouse, with a fresh flow of tears; ”but oh, Mr Wentworth, if he only would change his ways, as he promised, think what a comfort it would be to us to have him at home!”

”Yes,” said the Curate, with a little bitterness. Here was another instance of the impunities of wickedness. ”I think it very likely indeed that you will have him at home,” said Mr Wentworth--”almost certain; the wonder is that he went away. Will you tell me where he dates his letter from? I have a curiosity to know.”

”You are angry,” said the anxious sister. ”Oh, Mr Wentworth, I know he does not deserve anything else, but you have always been so kind. I put his letter in my pocket to show you--at least, I am sure I intended to put it in my pocket. We have scarcely been in this room since--since--” and here Miss Wodehouse broke down, and had to take a little time to recover. ”I will go and get the letter,” she said, as at last she regained her voice, and hurried away through the partial darkness with her noiseless step, and the long black garments which swept noiselessly over the carpet. Mr Wentworth for his part went to the one window which was only veiled by a blind, and comforted himself a little in the suns.h.i.+ne. The death atmosphere weighed upon the young man and took away his courage. If he was only wanted to pave the way for the reception of the rascally brother for whose sins he felt convinced he was himself suffering, the consolation of being appealed to would be sensibly lessened, and it was hard to have no other way of clearing himself than by criminating Lucy's brother, and bringing dishonour upon her name. While he waited for Miss Wodehouse's return, he stood by Lucy's table, with very little of the feeling which had once prompted him to fold his arms so caressingly with an impulse of tenderness upon the chair which stood beside it. He was so much absorbed in his own thoughts that he did not hear at first the sound of a hesitating hand upon the door, which at length, when repeated, went to the Curate's heart. He turned round rapidly, and saw Lucy standing on the threshold in her profound mourning. She was very pale, and her blue eyes looked large and full beyond their natural appearance, dilated with tears and watching; and when they met those of Mr Wentworth, they filled full like flower-cups with dew; but besides this Lucy made no demonstration of her grief. After that momentary hesitation at the door, she came in and gave the Curate her hand. Perhaps it was a kind of defiance, perhaps a natural yearning, which drew her out of her chamber when she heard of his presence; both sentiments sprang out of the same feeling; and the Curate, when he looked at her, bethought himself of the only moment when he had been able to imagine that Lucy loved him; that moment by her father's bedside, of which the impression had been dulled since then by a crowd of events, when she looked with such reproach and disappointment and indignation into his face.

”I heard you were here,” said Lucy, ”and I thought you might think it strange not to see us both.” And then she paused, perhaps finding it less easy than she thought to explain why she had come. ”We ought to thank you, Mr Wentworth, for your kindness, though I--”

”You were angry with me,” said the Curate. ”I know you thought me heartless; but a man must bear to be misconceived when he has duty to do,” the young clergyman added, with a swelling heart. Lucy did not know the fuller significance of his words; and there was a loftiness in them which partly affronted her, and set all her sensitive woman-pride in arms against him.

”I beg your pardon,” she said, faltering, and then the two stood beside each other in silence, with a sense of estrangement. As for Lucy, all the story about Rosa Elsworthy, of which she had not yet heard the last chapter, rushed back upon her mind. Was it to see little Rosa's lover that she had come out of the darkness of her room, with a natural longing for sympathy which it was impossible to restrain? The tenderness of the instinctive feeling which had moved her, went back upon her heart in bitterness. That he must have divined why she had come, and scorned her for it, was the mildest supposition in Lucy's mind. She could almost have imagined that he had come on purpose to elicit this vain exhibition of regard, and triumph over it; all this, too, when she was in such great trouble and sorrow, and wanted a little compa.s.sion, a little kindness, so much. This was the state of mind to which Lucy had come, in five minutes after she entered the room, when Miss Wodehouse came back with the letter. The elder sister was almost as much astonished at Lucy's presence as if she had been the dead inhabitant who kept such state in the darkened house. She was so startled that she went back a step or two when she perceived her, and hastily put the letter in her pocket, and exclaimed her sister's name in a tone most unlike Miss Wodehouse's natural voice.

”I came down-stairs because--I mean they told me Mr Wentworth was here,” said Lucy, who had never felt so weak and so miserable in her life, ”and I wanted to thank him for all his kindness.” It was here for the first time that Lucy broke down. Her sorrow was so great, her longing for a word of kindness had been so natural, and her shame and self-condemnation at the very thought that she was able to think of anything but her father, were so bitter, that the poor girl's forces, weakened by watching, were not able to withstand them. She sank into the chair that stood nearest, and covered her face with her hands, and cried as people cry only at twenty. And as for Mr Wentworth, he had no right to take her in his arms and comfort her, nor to throw himself at her feet and entreat her to take courage. All he could do was to stand half a yard, yet a whole world, apart looking at her, his heart beating with all the remorseful half-angry tenderness of love. Since it was not his to console her, he was almost impatient of her tears.

”Dear, I have been telling Mr Wentworth about to-morrow,” said Miss Wodehouse, weeping too, as was natural, ”and he thinks--he thinks--oh, my darling! and so do I--that it will be too much for you. When I was young it never was the custom; and oh, Lucy, remember that ladies are not to be expected to have such command over their feelings,” said poor Miss Wodehouse, dropping on her knees by Lucy's chair. Mr Wentworth stood looking on in a kind of despair. He had nothing to say, and no right to say anything; even his presence was a kind of intrusion. But to be referred to thus as an authority against Lucy's wishes, vexed him in the most unreasonable way.

”Mr Wentworth does not know me,” said Lucy, under her breath, wiping away her tears with a trembling, indignant hand. ”If we had had a brother, it might have been different; but there must be somebody there that loves him,” said the poor girl, with a sob, getting up hastily from her chair. She could not bear to stay any longer in the room, which she had entered with a vague sense of possible consolation. As for the Curate, he made haste to open the door for her, feeling the restraint of his position almost intolerable. ”_I_ shall be there,” he said, stopping at the door to look into the fair, pallid face which Lucy would scarcely raise to listen. ”Could you not trust _me_?” It looked like giving him a pledge of something sacred and precious to put her hand into his, which was held out for it so eagerly. But Lucy could not resist the softening of nature; and not even Miss Wodehouse, looking anxiously after them, heard what further words they were that Mr Wentworth said in her ear. ”I am for your service, however and wherever you want me,” said the Curate, with a young man's absolutism. Heaven knows he had enough to do with his own troubles; but he remembered no obstacle which could prevent him from dedicating all his time and life to her as he spoke. When Lucy reached her own room, she threw herself upon the sofa, and wept like a woman inconsolable; but it was somehow because this consolation, subtle and secret, had stolen into her heart that her tears flowed so freely. And Mr Wentworth returned to her sister relieved, he could not have told why. At all events, come what might, the two had drawn together again in their mutual need.