Part 9 (2/2)

It was formerly the belief of students of family desertion that the best way to prevent desertions was to punish them quickly and severely.

It should be said that this plan has never received a fair trial on a large scale, for legal equipment has always lagged behind knowledge. It may be true that just as a community can, within limits, regulate its death rate by what it is willing to pay, so it can by repressive measures regulate its desertion rate. But measures that keep the would-be deserter in the home which constantly grows less of a home, simply through fear of consequences if he left it, seem hardly a desirable form of prevention from the social point of view. It would be much better to catch the disintegrating family in whatever form of social drag-net could be devised, and deal with it individually and constructively along the lines which case work has laid down.

Is it possible, however, to recognize a ”pre-desertion state?” And if so, what are the danger signals? One case worker answers this question sententiously: ”Any influences which tend to destroy family solidarity are possible signs of desertion.” Another writes: ”We have sometimes found it possible to recognize a 'pre-desertion state' in the intermittent deserter, where we know the conditions which previously led to desertion, but I doubt whether we have very often been able to note it in the case of first desertions. In general, I should say a growing carelessness or a growing despondency as to his ability to care for his family are danger signals in the man, of which it is well to keep track.”

The conditions listed in Chapter II as ”contributory factors” might in certain combinations be decided danger signals of impending desertion.

Non-support itself is, indeed, one of the most common of such signals, though a man who has dealt with hundreds of desertion cases maintained recently that the best and most hopeful type of deserter is the one who supports his family adequately up to the time of leaving home.

In the following case the items that led the case worker to suspect an approaching desertion are set down in the order stated by her. The couple were Irish; the man had never deserted before.

(1) He had spoken with eagerness of the wages that were being earned in munition plants in a city a few hours away--said he would like to go to some of those munition places and see what he could make.

(2) He was an intermittent drinker.

(3) His work record was poor; employers said he was irregular and unreliable.

(4) Visitor felt he had never earned as much as he was easily capable of earning and was rather indifferent to the needs of his family.

(5) The woman was willing to work--had applied for day nursery care, but visitor had persuaded the nursery not to accept the children.

After the visitor had stated the first two of the above items she stopped, and did not add the more significant three that followed until reminded that many workmen who drank intermittently were at that time thinking enviously of munition factory wages; and that these hardly const.i.tuted danger signals. The c.u.mulative effect of all five items cannot, however, be denied.

Another statement, similarly obtained, concerns a colored couple, married about two years and with two children, the youngest less than a month old. Man had been out of work and family had gone to live with relatives.

(1) Man earns $20 a week but refuses to start housekeeping again, although they are seriously overcrowded--seven adults and five children in five rooms.

(2) Woman says he makes her sleep on chairs so that he can get better rest.

(3) He is seeing a good deal of another woman, a friend of the wife (wife's statement only).

(4) Woman had applied for nursery care for both children so that she might go to work.

(5) It transpires that she lived with him before marriage, and that the first child was a month old when the marriage took place. He ”holds it over her.”

(6) Man had been married before and divorced.

(7) The family's habits of recreation are changed; the man no longer ”takes her out.”

Such attempts to foretell the future are not infallible, of course; but a listing process is a valuable aid to diagnosis, and, by its help, a situation may be uncovered which tends toward complete family breakdown.

This may be taken in time and prevented; or, if separation is inevitable it can be prepared for in advance, the necessary legal arrangements can be made to protect the family, and the anxiety, suspense, and useless effort avoided which a sudden and downright abandonment would cause.

But the trouble is that the problem seldom comes to the case worker until matters have progressed farther than this. The real question is--not how to recognize pre-desertion symptoms, but how to get hold of families when these symptoms are in the incipient stage.

Mr. Hiram Myers, manager of the Desertion Bureau of the New York a.s.sociation for Improving the Condition of the Poor, who has made a close study of the subject, holds the theory that the real period of stress in marital adjustment comes not during the ”critical first year,”

about which we have been told so much, but at a later period, which he sets roughly at from the third to the fifth year after marriage. By this time there are usually one or two babies, the wife's girlish charm has gone, and the romance of the first attraction has vanished, while the steady force of conjugal affection which should smooth their path through the years ahead has not come to take its place. It is in this middle period that longings for the delights of his care-free youth begin to come back to a man; if he ever had the wandering foot, it begins again to twitch for the road; of else his fancy is captured by some other girl not tied down at home by children. It is at this time, too, that endless discords and misunderstandings arise--that the last bit of gilt crumbles off the gingerbread.

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