Chapter 17 (1/2)
Chapter 17
Chapter 17 – Takamura Mahiro Falls
My feelings are, probably, not love. They’re sympathy.
I think a 17-year-old is too young to reciprocate such a heavy love. All I’ve to do is pretend that nothing happened, to not believe in fantasy-ish things like past lives. All I’ve to do is pretend that nothing happened. However, I’m wavering.
For me to think that I can save him, I really don’t know my place.
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Sunohara had already withdrew from school when the second semester arrived and I head to school.
There’s no one in Sunohara’s house in Jiyuugaoka. Even when I visited Hiwatari’s granny’s house, thinking that he may be living there, there’s no one. Regarding Hiwatari’s house, it’s so run-down that the beautiful mansion we saw seemed to be a lie. There aren’t even any signs of the cows, horses and chickens raised in the backyard. Was the mansion we saw that day a different one?
I stand unmoving in front of the run-down mansion.
In the end, I’m still male and Sena is similarly still female. Is all well if I come to like Sena from now on and lift the curse on both of us? Do I come to like someone else and lift the curse? Or do I not lift the curse for the rest of my life? I haven’t the slightest idea.
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Sunohara said that he likes me. That he’d always been liking me for 140 years.
My feelings turned extremely complicated upon hearing that. More than feelings of happiness or such, I merely felt that it was heavy. At the very least, I should’ve been happy if I had romantic feelings for him, but I didn’t feel anything like that. I probably don’t like Sunohara Chiharu romantically.
“So what does Mahiro want to do?”
“I want to forget. I want to pretend that nothing happened, at all.”
The answer I reached in this one month is to forget it all.
I wanted to to toss this hazy feeling in the pit of my stomach away too.
I would have been able to do something if it could be resolved through actions, but there’s nothing I could do about my heart. On top of that, Sunohara had also left. A hypocritical feeling of wanting to do something continues to rise up even though things are already beyond my control.
I wanted to completely forget these feelings and bring back how I used to be.
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Perhaps I told Takafumi, who came with me, everything because I began to have such feelings.
“There’s nothing wrong with forgetting.”
It was a voice so cold you won’t think it’s from Takafumi.
“I can’t forget even though I want to. Do I like Chiha? Did sympathy turn into love?”
“Sympathy and love are different. It’s easy to sympathise but difficult to love. The one Mahiro likes me.”
“Wha…?”
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Did Takafumi realise I liked him?
Bam! I feel my cheeks turning warm.
“I thought Mahiro would always be chasing me but you became an adult before I knew it, huh.”
“Even if I want to chase you, you already have a girlfriend, Takafumi-kun. I can’t remain chasing you forever.”
“… That’s true.”
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Takafumi smiles faintly.
Seeing that smile had brought me the greatest joy thus far. However, my heart doesn’t skip a beat that much now. I’m slightly surprised at the change in my heart.
It’s terribly hard to change one’s heart intentio
nally. It doesn’t like when you tell it to like. However, just like my feelings of love for Takafumi, I believe there are many that changes bit by bit.
Similarly, even without asking for it, these feelings of sympathy for Sunohara will probably fade as I live on. Perhaps I’ll forget about Sunohara and even about my gender, living my life one way or another.
“Mahiro had been perceptive and easily swept by the flow from young. There’s also how you tend to give up by saying things can’t be helped. As for Sunohara-kun, I’m sure you’ll regret regardless of whether you chase after or throw him away. Moreover, even if you’ve thrown him, it’ll definitely be painful till you forget about him. In that case, I think you should just do whatever you want, Mahiro. Since it’ll hurt either way.”
“… Will anyone be happy if I force my hypocrisy? Even if I remain by Chiha’s side, the curse won’t be lifted if I don’t like him from the bottom of my heart. Besides, I’ll die someday and leave Chiha behind. If so, Chiha will be saddened again. I may even fall in love with someone else halfway.”
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“Ask Sunohara-kun about that. No one can say anything as long as Sunohara-kun is fine with that right?”
Takafumi has a point. However, a person’s life is at stake. It’s unquestionably not an easy step to take.
“I’m fine with that, Hii-chan.”
The one coming out from the run-down house is him, Sunohara. Surprise and astonishment arrive together as I question what on earth is this elusive person. At the same time, there’s a tiny bit of joy at meeting him again.
“Fine with, that, you say… No, more importantly, what have you been doing until now? Where were you?”
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“Are you really fine with that, Sunohara-kun? I think it’ll just be saddening for you both.”
“It’s fine. Even if Hii-chan dies before me, I’ll wait for his next life again. Even if Hii-chan’s feelings change halfway, that’s fine on its own too.”
The two proceed with the conversation, pretty much ignoring my words.
I listen on as if they’re talking about some distant world.