Part 1 (1/2)
The First Hundred Thousand.
by Ian Hay.
NOTE
The reader is hereby cautioned against regarding this narrative as an official history of the Great War.
The following pages are merely a record of some of the personal adventures of a typical regiment of Kitchener's Army.
The chapters were written from day to day, and published from month to month. Consequently, prophecy is occasionally falsified, and opinions moderated, in subsequent pages.
The characters are entirely fict.i.tious, but the incidents described all actually occurred.
BOOK ONE
BLANK CARTRIDGES
The First Hundred Thousand
I
AB OVO
”Squoad--'_Shun!_ Move to the right in fours. Forrm--_fourrrs!_”
The audience addressed looks up with languid curiosity, but makes no attempt to comply with the speaker's request.
”Come away now, come away!” urges the instructor, mopping his brow.
”Mind me: on the command 'form fours,' odd numbers will stand fast; even numbers tak' a shairp pace to the rear and anither to the right.
Now--forrm _fourrs!_”
The squad stands fast, to a man. Apparently--nay, verily--they are all odd numbers.
The instructor addresses a gentleman in a decayed Homburg hat, who is chewing tobacco in the front rank.
”Yous, what's your number?”
The ruminant ponders.
”Seeven fower ought seeven seeven,” he announces, after a prolonged mental effort.
The instructor raises clenched hands to heaven.