Part 4 (1/2)
”Why any more so than for me to judge you by my own impressions? My method is more judicial. As in a court of law, I hear both sides of a case, and do not permit myself to be biased by personal charms.”
”You are a clever pleader. I feel tempted to throw myself on the mercy of the court and receive its verdict.”
”Before the verdict can be given the court must be cleared of reporters; as that seems impracticable, sentence must be deferred.”
”Is it then so horrible? If so, I shall feel tempted to 'jump bail'.”
”I think you have nothing to fear; but how did you acquire such a knowledge of the law?”
”At one time I had a pa.s.sion for reading accounts of trials, and I even went with a party to see the Anarchists when they were on trial.”
”What a morbid curiosity!”
”Another impertinence.”
”If it is so considered, I humbly ask pardon, and meanwhile I move that the court take a recess which shall be employed in instructing me in the intricacies of Chicago society.”
”I see you want more material with which to construct characters; if so, we had far better listen to the opera.”
”O, bother the opera! It is vulgar to listen to an opera; it shows a lack of conversational powers. Don't you think so?”
”One can easily see that you came from New York, and, like all New York men, I suppose you expect to be pampered.”
”Of course I expect it, so please tell me about those people in the opposite boxes. You need not fear to speak the truth, as I am an entire stranger.”
”If I do, as a friend I shall expect you to let my opinions go no further.”
”_Cela va sans dire._”
”You must first understand, then, that every man here has an employment.
We have absolutely no 'unemployed rich'.”
”Idleness must be at a premium.”
”On the contrary it is tabooed. However, though we are all in trade we have distinctions as intricate as the most ancient aristocracy.”
”How so?”
”In the peculiar meshes from which society is woven. For example: a wholesale dry-goods merchant is an aristocrat, a retailer a plebeian; a hotel keeper may be a lord, a restaurant keeper a commoner; a car builder is a prince, a carriage builder a burgher; a brewer may be a count, a beer seller a churl; and so on, although even if a member of a certain trade is in society, his _confreres_ may be without the pale.”
”Much the same as in New York, only there hotels and dry goods are commoners, while tobacco and skins are lords.”
”Yes, but at least society is older there. The skins have been buried for a generation or two.”
”In some cases, yes, but in others they are still uncured. I am a working man myself, and I must defend my cla.s.s.”
”But surely you have respect for established inst.i.tutions.”
”Yes, but not for dead ancestors. Suppose I search through the dusty archives of the Herald's College for a drop of Norman blood; I find that it was spilt on Saxon land by some hireling freebooter, or landgrabber, who followed at the heels of a conscienceless adventurer.”
”You are republican enough to please the taste of my friend, Miss Moreland.”