Part 12 (2/2)

Her chest popped: WHUPP!

It came so abruptly that she let out a small cry and pitched herself forward. The slide projector clicked again and another bar graph appeared on the screen. Kiyomi ran her eyes frantically from corner to corner and found the same letters written there. Again, her heart erupted. Professor Is.h.i.+hara went on, but Kiyomi could no longer hear what he was saying.

Again, the click of the projector. Again, the screen changed to another bar graph. Surely enough, the same letters on the bottom right hand corner. Three times, this intense jolt swept through her. Her body lurched audibly off her seat. She felt everyone's eyes on her, but could make out none of them in her daze. Her heart was going to explode. Kiyomi clutched her chest in a desperate attempt to calm herself. She opened her mouth and tried to speak, but only a painful wheeze escaped. Her breaths grew shorter by the moment. Her face was on fire, her heart was thundering. Somewhere in the jumble of her mind, she tried frantically to rationalize what was happening to her. The fine-printed lettering on the screen. Kiyomi had not even read it all. In a brief moment of lucidity, she strained to remember what it said.

Everything was turning foggy. Someone ran up to her. She remembered now. The words floated into her mind's eye as clearly as the pulse throbbing inside her brain: Nagas.h.i.+ma, T. et al, J. Biol. Chem., 266, 3266, 1991.

There was something familiar there, something in that name. T. Thump. To- s.h.i.+-a-ki.

Yes, that was it. Thump. TOs.h.i.+AKI NAGAs.h.i.+MA. Thump. She had heard that name before. She knew him from somewhere. Of course, she thought, he's the one I met when I first came to college... Thump, THUMP, THUMP.

”Are you okay?”

A voice from afar. Someone was trying to lift her. Kiyomi saw the person's face just before dizziness overwhelmed her. Ah, it's him...

At the same time, she heard a different voice from deep inside her heart. <he is=”” the=”” one.=””>.

A ma.s.sive convulsion racked her entire body. She buried her face in the stranger's arm, entrusting her s.h.i.+vering body to him. Kiyomi lost consciousness before she could ask: Who...

12.

Mariko had been up and about for a week now. Her body was weary from sleeping so much and her legs were a bit wobbly. Still, it was better than having to endure being bedridden any longer.

From her bed, she had seen only white walls and the machinery that surrounded her, but now she could walk over to the windows and gaze out into the courtyard. Leaves and branches were vibrant with lush green. She looked upon them intently, almost breaking a sweat imagining the heat that awaited her outside.

She had only recently been given more freedom in where she could go. Whereas before she had to remain in her room, she could now wander through the ward. And starting tomorrow, she would be able to go to the hospital store, and even take showers. Doctor Yos.h.i.+zumi and the nurses were all exceedingly glad that her recovery was going so smoothly, but she was indifferent to what she thought to be a false play of emotions.

Everyone was trying so desperately to understand what she was going through. Being constantly surrounded by so much anxiety made her even more depressed.

Her father came to visit her at night.

He was in his usual suit and tie. Isn't he hot in those clothes? she wondered. They probably had good air-conditioning at work. With a feeble smile, he raised a hand to her in greeting.

”How are you feeling?”

Always that line. Always asking something he could tell just by a single look. Mariko sighed.

”Can I get you anything? I can get you a book or something if you want.”

She knew he was forcing his smile. She was getting annoyed.

”Can I have some money then?”

”What did you say?”

Her father was somewhat taken aback by her sudden request, as it was the most substantial thing she had said to him in weeks.

”Money. They said I can go to the hospital store tomorrow. I'll just buy something myself.”

Her father grew quiet and, for a long while, neither said anything.

At last, a humming sound broke the silence, a car in the distance or noise from the ventilation. When it ended, Anzai sighed.

”Mariko,” he said. ”Why are you being so stubborn? Tell me. Please?”

Silence.

”You were so happy the first time, weren't you? I thought you were glad to be out of the hospital and back in school. Why are you so unhappy this time? Do you just hate transplants?

Did you like dialysis better? What is it? Say something.”

Silence.

”Mariko...”

She wondered how much longer she could keep her mouth shut. Anzai was at a loss for words and gave up. They heard the hum again.

Mariko simply did not understand anymore. Why had her father wanted to give her a kidney so badly?

”...Dad?”

Her father looked up.

”Dad, did you really want to give me your kidney?”

”What are you saying?”

He was clearly upset, but she could not take it back now.

She glared at him. It was her father this time who averted his eyes.

”You really didn't mind doing that? Weren't you just annoyed that I was sick? If mom were still alive, wouldn't you have wanted her to give up her kidney instead? On top of that, it was my fault it f-”

”Stop it!”

The sound of a slap shot through the air.

Slowly, but surely, her cheek began to swell with pain. For a good while, Mariko could not process what had happened.

When she looked at her father, he was shaking, looking at the floor. Hidden as it was in shadow, she could not see his face very well, but he seemed to be choking down some harsh words.

After some time, he left, and Mariko stared for a long time up at the dark ceiling.

</he>

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