Part 12 (1/2)

”Dennis got that.”

”True. Well, John, here's $40 for you--that pays you until January 1st. Now, it strikes me that, considering the behavior of you three people, I am very generous to pay you your wages a week in advance, but I am not going to stop there. I have studied you all very carefully, and I've tried to discover what it is you are fondest of.

Cook and Mary do not seem to care much for dresses, though I believe there are dresses and gloves under the tree for them, which fact they will doubtless forget by next Christmas Day. The five dollars and a day off John seems to remember, though from his manner of recalling it I do not think his remembrance is a very pleasing one.

Now I've found out what it is you all like the best, and I'm going to give it to you.”

Here the trio endeavored to appear gracious, though they were manifestly uneasy and a bit dissatisfied with what John would have called ”the luks of t'ings.”

”Cook, from the 1st of January, may go to her relatives, and stay until they're every one of them restored to health, if it takes forty years. Mary may consider herself presented with sixty years'

vacation without pay; and for you, John, I have written this letter of recommendation to the proprietors of a large undertaking establishment in New York, who will, I trust, engage you as a chief mourner, or perhaps hea.r.s.e-driver, for the balance of your days. At any rate, you, too, after January 1st, may consider yourself free to go to any funeral or militia exercises, or anything else you may choose to honor with your presence, at your own expense. You are all given leave of absence without pay until further notice. I wish you a merry Christmas. Good-morning.”

There were no farewells in the house that day; and inasmuch as there was no Christmas dinner either, Thaddeus and Bessie did not miss the service of the waitress, who, when last seen, was walking airily off towards the station, accompanied by the indignant John and a bundle- laden cook. Next day their trunks went also.

”It was rather a hard thing to do on Christmas Day, Thaddeus,” said Bessie, a little later.

”Oh no,” quibbled Thaddeus. ”It was very easy under the circ.u.mstances, and quite appropriate. This is the time of peace on earth and good-will to men. The only way for us to have peace on earth was to get rid of those two women; and as for John, he has my good-will, now that he is no longer in my employ.”

A STRANGE BANQUET

”Thaddeus,” said Bessie to her husband as they sat at breakfast one morning, shortly after the royal banquet over which ”Grimmins” had presided, ”did you hear anything strange in the house last night?

Something like a footstep in the hall?”

”No,” said Thaddeus. ”I slept like a top last night. I didn't hear anything. Did you?”

”I thought so,” said Bessie. ”About two o'clock I waked up with a start, and while it may have been a sort of waking dream, I was almost certain I heard a rustling sound out in the hall, and immediately after a creaking on the stairs, as though there was somebody there.”

”Well, why on earth didn't you wake me, Bess?” returned Thaddeus.

”I could easily have decided the matter by getting up and investigating.”

”That was why I didn't wake you, Teddy. I'd a great deal rather lose the silver or anything else in the house a burglar might want than have you hit on the head with a sand-club,” said Bessie. ”You men are too brave.”

”Thank you,” said Thaddeus, with a smile, as he thought of a certain discussion he had had not long before at the club, in which he and several other brave men had reached the unanimous conclusion that the best thing to do at dead of night, with burglars in the house, was to crawl down under the bedclothes and snore as loudly as possible. ”Nevertheless, my dear, you should have told me.”

”I will next time,” said Bessie.

”Was anything in the house disturbed?” Thaddeus asked.

”No,” said Bessie. ”Not a thing, as far as I can find out. Mary says that everything was all right when she came down, and the cook apparently found things straight, because she hasn't said anything.”

So Thaddeus and Bessie made up their minds that the latter had been dreaming, and that nothing was wrong. Two or three days later, however, they changed their minds on the subject. There was something decidedly wrong, but what it was they could not discover.

They were both awakened by a rustling sound in the hallway, outside of their room, and this time there was a creak on the stairs that was unmistakable.

”Don't move, Thaddeus,” said Bessie, in a terrified whisper, as Thaddeus made a brave effort to get up and personally investigate.

”I wouldn't have you hurt for all the world, and there isn't a thing down-stairs they can take that we can't afford to lose.”

Thaddeus felt very much as Bessie did, and it would have pleased him much better to lie quietly where he was than run the risk of an encounter with thieves. He had been brave enough in the company of men to advocate cowardice in an emergency of just this sort, but now that this same course was advocated by his wife, he saw it in a different light. Prudence was possible, cowardice was not. He must get up, and get up he did; but before going out of his room he secured his revolver, which had lain untouched and unloaded in his bureau-drawer for two years, and then advanced cautiously to the head of the stairs and listened--Bessie meanwhile having buried her face in her pillow as a possible means of a.s.suaging her fears. It is singular what a soothing effect a soft feather pillow sometimes has upon the agitated nerves if the nose of the agitated person is thrust far enough into its yielding surface.