Part 46 (2/2)
”Your father and I can teach you how to dance,” Lillian stated. ”He and I are the two best jitterb.u.g.g.e.rs in the Marine Corps. We can teach you in one' or two nights.”
”They don't do the minuet much anymore, Mama,” Ben grinned.
”I didn't even know G.o.dzilla could dance,” Mary Anne said.
”You ought to go, c.o.ke bottle eyes,” Matt said. ”This'll probably be the last chance in your whole life to go to a dance.”
”You do wonders for my ego, paramecium,” Mary Anne retorted.
”I'll go with you, Ben,” Karen said, ”if Mary Anne won't go. I'd love to go with you.”
”You're right up there among the top two candidates, Karen. But this is Mary Anne's first Junior-Senior and my last. She's going to be my date. First we'll have a candlelight dinner down at the Officers' Club. Perchance, a little wine or a bit of champagne from the land of the Frog. Then we will dance the night away beneath the streamers decorating the high school gymnasium.”
”What do you think Jim Don and Pinkie and all those other imbecile jocks will say?” Mary Anne asked.
”The h.e.l.l with them,” Ben said, pulling both of his feet up on the railing, encircling his bent legs with his arms. ”We'll have a ball.”
”Those people will laugh at us.”
”If they laugh, I'll punch them on the cheek,” Ben said.
”You ought to go, pig nose,” Matt said.
”You've got a pig nose, too, Midget,” Mary Anne said. ”It's just that you're so small I never notice it. I'm always looking at the top of your head.”
”If you two don't stop being nasty to each other, I'm going to take a broom to both of you,” Lillian said furiously.
”She's too ugly to get asked to the prom by anyone else,” Matt said.
”You're going to get slapped, mister,” Lillian said, drawing her hand back.
”Matt didn't mean that, Mary Anne,” Karen said. ”He really didn't mean that.”
”Mama,” Mary Anne said, her eyes once again fastened to an unseen, unfocused word in the book on her lap, ”aren't you happy that you're beautiful?”
”I am not beautiful. I've told you that a thousand times.”
”Don't be pious, Mama. You're beautiful and beautiful women get everything they want.”
They heard the back door slam and the heavy footsteps of Colonel Meecham coming through the house. Before he reached the front door on the way to join them, Lillian leaned over toward Mary Anne and whispered fiercely, ”I didn't get everything I wanted.”
Bull Meecham strode down the length of the veranda holding a Budweiser in one hand.
”It looks like the troops are goldbricking again and the C.O. needs to revamp the work detail. Let's cut the idle chitchat and police up the area.”
”You should have called me if you weren't coming home for dinner, sugah,” Lillian said, rising from her chair and kissing her husband on the cheek.
”I got into a little wrestling match with Jack Daniel over at the club and forgot to call,” Bull said, winking at his children.
”Ben's taking Mary Anne to the Junior-Senior Prom,” Karen said.
”Hey, that's great, sportsfans.”
”You and Mom are going to teach them how to dance,” Matt added.
Taking Lillian's hand and bowing dramatically, Bull pulled his wife to her feet, held her close to his body, and they began to waltz around the veranda. For a large man, he danced with surprising grace. They seemed to flow into each other and move as one body, a coupling of flesh that came so easily that it embarra.s.sed Ben.
”You've got to be loose. You hogs must have inherited some of Santini's rhythm,” Bull said.
”I inherited Santini's legs,” Mary Anne answered.
”I've always been able to dance like a n.i.g.g.e.r,” Bull shouted.
”Negro! Bull. Negro,” Lillian corrected.
”What's that book you're reading, Mary Anne?” Ben asked, directing his attention away from his parents who were beginning to lose themselves in the spirit of their impromptu and somehow nakedly sensual dance.
”It's really none of your business but it's Halliwell's Dictionary of Archaic and Provincial Words,” Mary Anne said. She was not watching her parents dance either.
”You mean it was you who stole my copy of Halliwell's?” Ben laughed.
”Why on earth are you reading that? That's just a book of dead words.”
”I relate very well to dead words. They interest me and they help me. I can insult people without their knowing it. For instance, Matt is a cuglion.”
”Did you hear what she called me, Mom? I bet it's dirty,” Matt cried.
”It is simply a stupid, cattle-headed fellow. Mom is a dangwallet, which means a spendthrift, someone who just loves throwing away money. Dad is a slubberdegullion, which is a paltry dirty wretch. Karen is a grizzle-demundy, which is a stupid person always grinning.”
”That's not very nice, Mary Anne,” Karen said.
”It's all a joke, Karen. I bought this book for a quarter at the Catholic Bazaar and I've got to use it or Mom will say it's a waste of money.”
”Speaking of money,” Lillian said, ”what are you going to wear if you go with Ben to the Junior-Senior?”
”I haven't said I was going yet,” Mary Anne said.
”She'll wear the prettiest dress at the dance,” Bull said.
”I don't have anything to wear to a formal dance,” Mary Anne said.
”We'll buy you a G.o.ddam dress,” Bull bellowed.
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