Part 38 (1/2)
”Is it difficult?”
”What? Dancing? Now?”
”Yeah.”
”Sorta.”
I don't say anything, I just wait for her to explain if she wants to.
”I have a special leg. I guess I don't put it on enough and...maybe I'm not giving it a chance.”
”Do you want to give it a chance?”
She doesn't respond immediately, but after some silence, she says, ”I didn't want to. Not at first. Even after that.”
”Sounds like a but's coming on.”
”Yeah.”
”But now you do? Wanna give it a chance, I mean.”
”Maybe.”
I nod. Maybe that's as far as the conversation should go today. ”Now this sounds like a happy song,” I say, referring to the wildly upbeat song playing on the radio.
”Ah. ”Keep on the Sunny Side.” That's Brad Paisley. It was written back before the 1900s. I looked it up once. Ironically...it was inspired by a boy in a wheelchair who always wanted to be pushed on the sunny side of the street. Kinda reminds me of Johnny.”
”Mmm.”
”I guess...how he used to be...before he...got sad.”
”Yeah.” Thinking about Johnny makes me sad. ”Before he gave up?”
”Why are you so certain he gave up?”
”Why? You saw him. He was this tirelessly happy kid...”
”Maybe he got tired of pretending to be happy. It doesn't mean he gave up.”
”Are you giving up, Rose?”
”Me? What's this got to do with me?”
I glance her way again. ”It doesn't. I'm just wondering. This practicing you've been doing...does it mean you're gonna try dancing again or are you going to give it up?”
”Well, giving it up and giving up are two different things.”
”Are they?”
”I don't know. You tell me. Is saving your leg but giving up your baseball career giving up?”
I realize when I see signs for Vernon that I pa.s.sed our exit miles ago, so I continue heading to Rose's house instead. ”That's not fair.”
”How is it not fair? It's the same thing you're asking me.”
”It isn't.”
”It is, Ben. Saving your leg means a lifetime of complications, which you know means no Major League Baseball career. But losing your leg, and getting a new state-of-the-art prosthesis, and being back on the field within a few months, means you only put it on hold a year tops. I Googled it. Is your precious human leg that important to you?”
”Is yours? I haven't really seen you embracing the loss of yours.”
From my side vision, I see her head dip.
”I'm sorry, Rose.”
She just shakes her head.
”I didn't mean to get...fresh.”
”I deserved it. I was fresh to you first.”
”No, you weren't fresh. Just...honest.”
”Yeah, well, call me pot, because I'm no better.”
”Hi, Pot. I'm Kettle. Nice to meet you,” I joke.
Thank G.o.d she laughs.
”How 'bout we make a deal,” I suggest.
”No more talking about this? We weren't supposed to anyway, remember?”
”That's not what I was going to say. I was going to say, how 'bout if you put on that fancy dancing leg of yours, I'll cut off my leg.”
She snaps her head toward me. ”Falco, you can't make this decision for me...or to get me to dance.”
”Yeah, but, I really don't want you to quit dancing.”
”Why? You've never even seen me dance. Why is it so important to you?”
”Because you are important to me. And I did some Googling myself. There are videos of you online.”
”Oh geez.”
”You were awesome. Remarkable actually. And you looked like you loved it.”