Part 12 (1/2)

Laughing, I call it ”...a lame-a.s.s game.”

As we get into the comfortable groove of playing Words With Friends and hanging, I decide to bring up Rose.

”John,” I start, looking at him while he decides what letters to play, ”I was thinking of finding Rose.”

He looks up at me, surprised. ”Finding?”

”I found out she's in some mental ward in some hospital.”

”Mental ward?” With his rubber-tipped stick, he lowers the iPad tray. ”Why? What hap...” He stops. It registers. ”She can't make jokes.”

I shake my head and put down my phone. ”No joking.”

”She must be really depressed.”

Nodding, I agree.

”Then find her.”

”Find her?”

”She needs to laugh. Make her laugh, Ben.”

”Make her laugh? I'm not that funny.”

Johnny cracks up. ”Then joke about me. Find something funny to talk to her about.”

”Funny? You think joking about your situation is funny?”

”Isn't it? Isn't it hilarious that at seventeen, I'm less active than my ninety-two-year-old great-grandmother? That's funny s.h.i.+t, Ben. If you consider cruel irony hilarious.” Though his shoulders can't shrug, his eyes do. ”What can you do?”

”Is this...all bulls.h.i.+t, John? You can't really be okay with this, are you?”

He looks at me.

Stares at me.

”I'm sorry for being so blunt, I just don't get it.”

He finally speaks. ”What choice do I have? If I let it get to me, what happens? I end up in a mental ward like that pretty little girl of yours? s.h.i.+t, I can't even kill myself to escape this.”

His eyes start to tear.

My heart starts to break.

”I'm stuck like this with no choice, Ben. So...for my mom's sake, I laugh.”

I nod, sadly understanding a little better.

”I'm all she has. Besides her gram. So...I'm gonna be the next Stephen Hawking and make enough money to pay for people to help her. Since I can't.”

”Well...you do have a high IQ, right?”

”d.a.m.n straight. 156.”

”Impressive. And you're still in high school?”

”Mom didn't want me to lose out on a real childhood. I'm in all AP cla.s.ses though, so...I'm still ahead when I start college.”

”Cool.”

”If I don't get pneumonia again and die.”

”Dude.”

”I came close. That's why I couldn't go back to rehab yet. It's gonna take a lot to get my immune system up.”

”s.h.i.+t.”

”Yeah.” He picks up his straw with his mouth and elevates his iPad. ”Let's get back to the game.”

We get back to Words With Friends, but my thoughts are swirling all over the place.

Will Johnny really be okay?

Will Rose?

Do I go find her?

Or do I let her be?

In the end, I let her be for now.

17.

ROSE.

Returning to the normal world isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Not that hanging home all day is considered normal for a girl my age. I should be studying or partying or enjoying life in my twenties, I'm told. But I haven't found my bearings yet.

While in the mental ward of the hospital, I did get my breaks to work on my physical disability and I did get fitted for my permanent artificial leg, which I'm wearing right now. It's not as robotic as my metal paper towel holder, so it's prettier to look at. Relatively. It's still not the real thing. But at least I can wear my own shoes with it, and it looks like a real leg. And oh yeah, they fit me for a second leg too. A leg to use when I, believe it or not, dance. That leg's really robotic looking, but it's supposed to be highly effective for dancing. And it does have a pet.i.te foot, so it still fits in a ballet shoe.

I know what you're thinking - ”You can still dance?”

It turns out, yes, I can. But I haven't tried it yet.