Part 4 (1/2)

Tho' shambling BECKET,[23] proud to soothe my pride, Keeps ever shuflling on my right-hand side; What tho' with well-tim'd flatt'ry, loud he cries, At each theatric stare, ”See, see his eyes!”

What tho' he'll fetch and carry at command, And kiss, true spaniel-like, his master's hand; With admiration NYK ne'er heard me speak, But press'd the kiss of love upon my cheek;[24]

Incessant clapp'd at th'end of every speech; And, had I bidd'n him, would have kiss'd my b----!

Let me no longer, then, my loss deplore, But to his ROSCIUS, Muse, my NYK restore.

But hah! what discord strikes my listening ear?

Is NYKY dead, or is some critic near?

Curse on that Ledger and that d.a.m.n'd Whitehall,[25]

How players and managers they daily maul!

IMITATIONS.

Ducite ab urbe domum mea carmina ducite Daphnim.

NOTES.

[23] The famous THOMAS A BECKET, feigned by the poets to have been drown'd, when, being half-seas over, in claret, he endeavoured to return to land: on which occasion a wicked wit of the town made the following epitaph for his tomb.

_Here lies That shuffling, shambling, shrugging, shrinking shrimp, Tom Becket, Mammon's most industrious imp!_

[24] A customary method it seems, of NYKY's expressing his admiration of the acting of the immortal ROSCIUS.

[25] News-papers so called, in which ROSCIUS is not a sharer, and hath not yet come up to the price of their silence.

Curse on that Morning-Chronicle; whose tale Is never known with spightful wit to fail.

Curse on that FOOTE; who in ill-fated hour Trod on the heels of my theatric-power; Who, ever ready with some biting joke, My peace hath long and would my heart have broke.

Curse on his horse--one leg! but ONE to break!

”A kingdom for a horse”--to break his neck!

Curse on that STEVENS,[26] with his Irish breeding, While I am acting, shall that wretch be reading?

Curse on all rivals, or in fame or profit; The Fantoccini still make something of it![27]

NOTES.

[26] GEORGE ALEXANDER STEVENS the lecturer, not the Macaroni editor of Shakespeare.

[27] What formidable rivals to the immortal ROSCIUS? Harlequin, Scaramouch, Chimney-sweeper, Ba.s.s-viol, Astrologer, Child, Statue and Parrot! But ROSCIUS having received a formal challenge from Mr. Punch and his merry family, a pitch'd-battle, for which great preparations are now making, will be fought between them next winter; when there is no doubt but the triumphant ROSCIUS will, even at their own weapons, rout them all. There is the less reason to fear this, as he hath already exceeded even Mr.---- 's activity in King Richard. It is but three or four years ago since this mock-monarch died so tamely that he was hissed off the stage; on which occasion the following epigram appeared in the papers.

ROSCIUS REDIVIVUS.

_George! did'nt I hear the critics hiss, When I was dead?--”Yes, brother, yes, You did not die in high rant.”

Nay, if they think a dying king Like Harlequin convuls'd, should spring, Let ---- be hence their tyrant._

Curse on that KENRICK,[28] with his caustic pen, Who scorns the hate, and hates the love of MEN; Who with such ease envenom'd satire writes, Deeper his ink than aqua fortis[29] bites.

Stand his perpetual-motion[30] ever still; Or, if it move, oh, let it move uphill.