1092 Peace Of Mind (1/2)
There were some leftover chicken bones scattered under the tree. Looking at the pile of chicken bones, Ning Que remained silent for a long time.
The big black horse seemed anxious. It snorted uneasily and looked back at the wooden hut.
Ning Que suddenly turned around and led it back to the hut. He pushed the door open and entered. The room was still pitch black, without a trace of light. It was also empty, not a single occupant to be seen. Ning Que let go of the reins and walked to the window, looking out at the sea of snow.
The oil lamp on the table glowed. Sangsang gazed at him silently.
He still couldn't see her, but he knew that she was there, so he started talking.
”Long Qing is dead.” He paused and continued, ”I killed him… it was in North Yan. I didn't expect it to end so easily. Originally, I had planned to oust him from his position and imprison him within the Front Gate of Devil's Doctrine, so that he would never again taste freedom. Just like what Youngest Uncle did to Lian Sheng.”
”But then I thought, that wasn't reasonable. He didn't actually offend me that much, except for that time when he was rude towards you and tried to threaten me with you, which ended up an empty threat. The one Lian Sheng killed was Xiaoxiao. He didn't hurt you. I had overreacted.”
Ning Que turned around and looked into the dark room. ”Ever since that day by the barkless mulberry tree where I first met you, the most intense emotions that I have ever felt in my life had arose because of you. From killing grandpa at the start, and then Long Qing, not to mention that time when I first came to the City of Wei, I had fought for you quite a number of times.”
Sangsang was very close to him. If the barrier wasn't there, they might even hear each other's breathing. Listening to his words, her expression was still stoic, but her eyelashes were slowly descending, as if she was exhausted.
”I went to the Lanke Temple and sculpted many stone statues with your image.”
Ning Que retrieved a stone statue from his clothes and set it on the table by the window. ”I don't know if you still remember what you said in the temple that year, while you were ill. I remember.”
Sangsang looked at the table, where a likeness of herself was sleeping peacefully on her side. Curiosity glinted in her eyes.
”Of course, I went to the City of Wei first. I had a.s.sumed that it carried the most significance for you and me. You might have been there, but unfortunately I couldn't find you. Well, I killed a lot of people there.”
Ning Que suddenly stopped talking. After a long silence, he said, ” I don't wish to talk anymore. It is meaningless to cry bitterly or even to stab myself with a knife to force you out. Anyway, since I am here now…”
He looked into the void of darkness in front of him. ”Come out,” he begged.
There was no taunting provocation, or a sentimental reliving of memories, but a calm request, just like all those years ago: for her to serve him tea, for her to pour him some water, for her to settle her feet in his lap for a good ma.s.sage.
In the still wooden hut, a soft, barely noticeable sound could be heard, as if the thinnest paper was sliced apart by the sharpest knife, or like the most brittle of gla.s.s falling from the sky onto the ground, shattering. Then it opened.
The dim light from the lamp gradually pervaded the entire s.p.a.ce, from the faintest speck of brightness to illuminating the entire hut, casting light on the stone statue upon the table, on Ning Que's face and on herself.
Ning Que looked at her, whom he hadn't seen since their separation ages ago. Looking at her swollen belly, her crude animal leather clothes, Ning Que felt his heart clench. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, embracing her tightly.
Sangsang's indifferent expression didn't change even as she allowed him to hold her. Her head was held high, seemingly in arrogance, or merely in numbness.
”Let go,” she whispered.
The indigo lion prowled towards them from the corner of the hut. It lowered its forelimbs and crouched, as if it was about to pounce, growling warningly.
The big black horse stared at it from its imposing position above, its eyes blazing with ferocity. Its meaning was clear.
The indigo lion quickly stopped growling, instead turning docile and well-behaved.
Ning Que held Sangsang tightly with his head buried in her neck. His voice was m.u.f.fled and incoherent, yet clear. Incoherency was the tone, but clear was the meaning, there was no trace of doubt.
”No.” Sangsang repeated coldly, ”Release me.”
”No,” Ning Que stubbornly refused.
”Let go.”
”No.”
”Let go.”
”Never. No means no.”
The big black horse and the indigo lion exchanged a look. They moved to a corner un.o.btrusively and pretended to not see or hear anything.
Ning Que wrapped Sangsang tighter in his arms, as if he could hold on to her forever, till the end of the world.
No one knew how much time had pa.s.sed, but fortunately it was not yet the end of the world when Sangsang finally lowered her head. Their cheeks touched each other, warmth spreading from that point of contact.
After another period of silence, again luckily before both of them age into skeletons, Ning Que was finally sure that she would not disappear out of reach again. At last, he loosened his vice grip on her, grabbed her right hand, and led her to the bed.
They held hands and sat side by side on the bed. If Sangsang put on her wedding dress right now, it would be like their first wedding night, and the room was where they were about to consummate their marriage.
”Come home with me,” Ning Que said to her.
Sangsang did not answer him, but neither did she extricate her hand out of his. Instead, she seemed to be s.p.a.cing out while staring at the wind and snow outside.
Ning Que knew that she was not actually distracted, because she was a G.o.d, and she was still here.
”Come home with me,” he repeated.
Sangsang looked at him and asked expressionlessly, ” Which home? Your earliest home?”