Part 105 (2/2)
Fra Colonna went to him, and, whimpering, reminded him that all was not lost. The divine muses were immortal. He must transfer his affection to them; they would never betray him nor fail him like creatures of clay.
The good, simple father then hurried away; for he was overcome by his emotion.
Fra Jerome remained behind. ”Young man,” said he, ”the Muses exist but in the brains of pagans and visionaries. The Church alone gives repose to the heart on earth, and happiness to the soul hereafter. Hath earth deceived thee, hath pa.s.sion broken thy heart after tearing it, the Church opens her arms: consecrate thy gifts to her! The Church is peace of mind.”
He spoke these words solemnly at the door, and was gone as soon as they were uttered.
”The Church!” cried Gerard, rising furiously and shaking his fist after the friar. ”Malediction on the Church! But for the Church I should not lie broken here, and she lie cold, cold, cold, in Holland. O my Margaret! O my darling! my darling! And I must run from thee the few months thou hadst to live. Cruel! cruel! The monsters, they let her die.
Death comes not without some signs. These the blind, selfish wretches saw not, or recked not; but I had seen them, I that love her. Oh, had I been there, I had saved her, I had saved her. Idiot! idiot! to leave her for a moment.”
He wept bitterly a long time.
Then, suddenly bursting into rage again, he cried vehemently, ”The Church! for whose sake I was driven from her; my malison be on the Church! and the hypocrites that name it to my broken heart. Accursed be the world! Ghysbrecht lives; Margaret dies. Thieves, murderers, harlots, live for ever. Only angels die. Curse life! Curse death! and whosoever made them what they are!”
The friar did not hear these mad and wicked words; but only the yell of rage with which they were flung after him.
It was as well. For, if he had heard them, he would have had his late s.h.i.+pmate burned in the forum with as little hesitation as he would have roasted a kid.
His old landlady, who had accompanied Fra Colonna down the stair, heard the raised voice, and returned in some anxiety.
She found Gerard putting on his clothes, and crying.
She remonstrated.
”What avails my lying here?” said he gloomily. ”Can I find here that which I seek?”
”Saints preserve us! Is he distraught again? What seek ye?”
”Oblivion.”
”Oblivion, my little heart? Oh, but y' are young to talk so.”
”Young or old, what else have I to live for?”
He put on his best clothes.
The good dame remonstrated. ”My pretty Gerard, know that it is Tuesday, not Sunday.”
”Oh, Tuesday is it? I thought it had been Sat.u.r.day.”
”Nay, thou has slept long. Thou never wearest thy brave clothes on working days. Consider.”
”What I did, when she lived, I did. Now I shall do whatever erst I did not. The past is the past. There lies my hair, and with it my way of life. I have served one Master as well as I could. You see my reward.
Now I'll serve another, and give him a fair trial too.”
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