Chapter 80 (1/2)

Chapter 80: Chapter 80

“I just can’t understand human selfishness.”

To Shihuang, it looked as if Myohan thought he had no reason to live. He didn’t seem to notice Shihuang watching from afar with worries. Maybe it was only in his eyes, but Myohan was small and weak. He could be broken anytime. Still, he kept leaving Shihuang and returning to the subjects. It even made him wonder if it was some kind of bond they had as humans. He got jealous.

“Sometimes…” Myohan looked into his eyes. What he said after that made Shihuang’s face darken. “You speak as if you weren’t a human.”

Myohan had impressive guts and never failed to find Shihuang’s weakness. It came up at important moments and hit the dragon’s weak spot, but Myohan didn’t even realize it.

“What if,” Shihuang wasn’t a human. He had arms and legs like Myohan, but it was O Shin’s blessing, not his true form. Although the god called his true form beautiful, he didn’t like it. It was the form of a huge beast. He didn’t want to show it and didn’t want to see it himself. “What if I’m not a human?”

While he felt like he owned the entire world, in a corner of his mind, he couldn’t help wondering.

‘What if I weren’t in this form? What if I were still that enormous beast? If I were a beast incapable of hugging him and kissing him, would this little cat still love me? Would the thing between us now have started at all?’

Shihuang had asked out of sudden impulse, as he had complicated feelings and could see dark clouds rolling in.

Thankfully, Myohan didn’t think much of it, “Why are you asking that? If you’re not a human, you’re not a human. That’s all.”

Shihuang had always wanted to be a person. He wanted to live a life with an end, interact with others, and perceive new feelings. He had kept wondering what kind of feelings he would have gotten to learn during all those years he spent alone. But of course, he had never wanted it so earnestly before.

He wanted to live the same life as Myohan. Imagining he would one day leave his side, he felt as if he would be losing the whole word. At the same time, he felt guilty about taking O Shin’s world.

“You kind cat.”

‘What can I do if this lovely creature leaves me? The god told me to protect him, but what if I can’t?’ He hated himself for asking such things after taking his friend’s world, so he was always tormented.

‘I told you to protect him.’

And O Shin clearly knew how he was feeling. On a bright night, Shihuang glared at the dark clouds rolling over in quiet. The god appeared next to his old friend.

‘The dragon I asked to be friends with was not like this.’

Only he could save Myohan and make Shihuang a man. Shihuang wanted to become a man if he couldn’t become a god. And if he couldn’t become a human, he wished to die with Myohan.

The more he wanted him, the more anxious he became. All these feelings were too new to the immortal; he couldn’t handle it.

“I’m going somewhere, it’ll take some time.”

Plus, he was a little mad at Myohan leaving again and again, even though he kept telling him not to go.

“Go where?”

He knew the cat was actually an animal that easily became lonely. Myohan was not a real cat, but he was no different. Myohan couldn’t stop him as he smiled bitterly and disappeared. He went back to his lake.

He went back to his dragon form though he didn’t want to. O Shin sometimes asked him to show that magnificent form, and he was sometimes too busy to let him keep his human form.

He almost never willed himself to regain his true form, as the only thing he could do with that enormous body was to curl into a coil and sleep.

“I didn’t bother to give you a human form…” He must have slept for a long time. The sky was full of dark clouds. He heard a familiar voice, so he narrowed his eyes and looked straight ahead. “So that you could just come back here.”

O Shin was standing in the lake. He came slowly, making little splashes. In his arms was Myohan as a cat, sleeping soundly. Shihuang looked at them as they got close, but then he closed his eyes again. Once more, Myohan had fallen for their trap, even though he knew everything.

“What are you going to do if I don’t make you a human ever again?”

“You must think I’m pathetic.”

He knew well how childish he was being. He knew how hilarious it was to complain to the friend who had given up his world for him.

“Yes, you’re so pathetic that it’s cute.”

The god was relaxed, contrary to how Shihuang was feeling.

‘Maybe I’m not the right person for Myohan.’

That thought choked him.