Part 51 (1/2)

--Jarge-- (_at last_). Lor' bless 'ee, w.i.l.l.yum, if it bain't Squire a-kissin' our Rachel.

--w.i.l.l.yum.-- Zo it du be. Here du be goings-on! What will t' pa.s.son say?

--Jarge-- (_struck with an idea_). Zay, bor, don't 'ee zee a zort o'

loikeness atween t' maid and t' Squire?

--w.i.l.l.yum.-- Jarge, if you bain't right, lad. Happen she do have t' same nose!

(_Hearing something_, Fitzhugh _and_ Rachel _turn round._)

--Fitzhugh.-- Ah, my men! I'm your new Squire. Do you know who this is?

--w.i.l.l.yum.-- Why, her du be our Rachel.

--Fitzhugh.-- On the contrary, allow me to introduce you to Miss Fitzhugh, daughter of the late Squire!

--Jarge.-- Well, this du be a day! To think of our Rachel now!

--Fitzhugh.-- _My_ Rachel now!

--Rachel-- (_who, it is to be hoped, has been amusing herself somehow since her last speech_). Your Rachel always. [CURTAIN.

XLV. ”THE LITERARY LIFE”

_The Scene is the Editor's room in the Office of ”The Lark.” Two walls of the room are completely hidden from floor to ceiling by magnificently bound books; the third wall at the back is hidden by boxes of immensely expensive cigars. The windows, of course, are in the fourth wall, which, however, need not be described, as it is never quite practicable on the stage. The floor of this apartment is chastely covered with rugs shot by the Editor in his travels, or in the Tottenham Court Road; or, in some cases, presented by admiring readers from abroad. The furniture is both elegant and commodious._

William Smith, Editor, _comes in. He is superbly dressed in a fur coat and an expensive cigar. There is a blue pencil behind his ear, and a sheaf of what we call in the profession ”typewritten ma.n.u.scripts” under his arm. He sits down at his desk and pulls the telephone towards him._

--Smith-- (_at the telephone_). Hallo, is that you, Jones?... Yes, it's me. Just come up a moment. (_Puts down telephone and begins to open his letters._)

_Enter_ Jones, _his favourite sub-editor. He is dressed quite commonly, and is covered with ink. He salutes respectfully as he comes into the room._

--Jones.-- Good afternoon, chief.

--Smith.-- Good afternoon. Have a cigar?

--Jones.-- Thank you, chief.

--Smith.-- Have you anything to tell me?

--Jones.-- The circulation is still going up, chief. It was three million and eight last week.

--Smith-- (_testily_). How often have I told you not to call me ”chief,”

except when there are ladies present? Why can't you do what you're told?

--Jones.-- Sorry, sir, but the fact is there are ladies present.

--Smith-- (_fingering his moustache_). Show them up. Who are they?