Part 10 (1/2)
”Yes, but----”
”Well, why do they say 'Home Rails Firm' when they mean 'Home Rails Wobble'?”
”Ah, that's just it. The point is that when they say 'Home Rails Firm,'
they don't mean that the rails themselves are firm. In fact they don't mean at all what you think they mean. They mean something quite different.”
”What do they mean?”
”I am just going to explain,” I said stiffly.
”Or perhaps I had better put it this way,” I said ten minutes later.
”Supposing--Oh, Margery, it is difficult to explain.”
”I must know,” said Margery.
”Why do you want to know so badly?”
”I want to know a million million times more than anything else in the whole world.”
”Why?”
”So as I can tell Angela,” said Margery.
I plunged into my explanation again. Angela is three, and I can quite see how important it is that she should be sound on the question.
LIFE'S LITTLE TRAGEDIES
X. A CROWN OF SORROWS
There is something on my mind, of which I must relieve myself. If I am ever to face the world again with a smile I must share my trouble with others. I cannot bear my burden alone.
Friends, I have lost my hat. Will the gentleman who took it by mistake, and forgot to leave his own in its place, kindly return my hat to me at once?
I am very miserable without my hat. It was one of those nice soft ones with a dent down the middle to collect the rain; one of those soft hats which wrap themselves so lovingly round the cranium that they ultimately absorb the personality of the wearer underneath, responding to his every emotion. When people said nice things about me my hat would swell in sympathy; when they said nasty things, or when I had had my hair cut, it would adapt itself automatically to my lesser requirements. In a word, it fitted--and that is more than can be said for your hard, unyielding bowler.
My hat and I dropped into a hall of music one night last week. I placed it under the seat, put a coat on it to keep it warm, and settled down to enjoy myself. My hat could see nothing, but it knew that it would hear all about the entertainment on the way home. When the last moving picture had moved away, my hat and I prepared to depart together. I drew out the coat and felt around for my--Where on earth....
I was calm at first.
”Excuse me,” I said politely to the man next to me, ”but have you got two hats?”
”Several,” he replied, mistaking my meaning.
I dived under the seat again, and came up with some more dust.